I’m at the end of my rope and exhausted to the point of needing a few extra hours of sleep on Tuesday nights. I will never leave this thread under any circumstances; I will become OP for life and die still posting in this thread at the age of ninety-seven. Tens of millions of grammatical atrocities will be committed, and the survivors will have no future to look forward to thanks to the thread being locked once I die in my sleep, peaceful and content knowing that I died on a Monday and do not ever have to face another Tuesday again.
People of color (purple and green mostly, although a few burnt sienna) will simply not post anymore, or be reduced to an insignificant minority like the mods of today. We will have the worst search function and sock systems on the internet: parody rates will drop below 50 percent, and post count expectancy will be under sixty thousand for 99.999 percent of the member list. Rich Little will have absolute control over every aspect of the forum by this point, even controlling our posts to make them sound like other people’s posts. Threads will start disappearing, and bans will be used to snuff out anyone who wasn’t a part of my posse.
We will become a subpartotalitarian dictatorship that will only endure until the end of the week, which will only take one day because every day will be declared Tuesday and weeks will last one day.