Austin Powers: Sanitized
…Why did I watch this? The edits were good, but the film was not. Austin Powers is just altogether extremely puerile, and I found no humor in the endless dick jokes.
At least I took out the 10 minute wake-up piss! And the farting in the tub! And the 10-minute head-in-a-toilet!
Cut Austin taking the long wake-up piss
Reduced Mustafa dialogue during his death scene
Cut frozen Gary Coleman and Vanilla Ice
Shortened the Tom Arnold / Austin / Patty O’Brien scene in the bathroom
Cut Vanessa biting the sausage
Cut reference to Carrot Top movie
Cut “In Japan, men come first” joke
Cut Austin’s fart in hot tub and follow up fart jokes
Cut Austin punching Mrs. Exposition and then making ugly jokes
Cut Beavis and Butthead
Cut Austin planning to soil himself
Cut sea bass burp
Cut guard taking another peek at Austin in his Union Jack underwear
Cut Austin slamming his balls with his car’s gearshift a second time
Cut Vanessa blowing up the penis balloon
Cut Austin telling Random Task "you fight like a woman"
Extended “Female of the Species” slightly to fit extended end credits
Now I don’t even know if I’ll do the next one, since you don’t appreciate my hard work!
Incidentally, it’s been a few years now. What dick jokes did I leave in? I’m not against a dick joke as long as it’s more than just a “hey it’s a dick lol” joke.