The Ric Olie Press Conference Thread

*taps microphone*

Is this thing on?

*taps again*

I hear the tapping, therefore I can conclude that this thing is indeed on.  This thing is a microphone, which I will now use to conduct my press conference.

*clears throat*

Ladies and Gentlemen of OT.com, of all levels of attractiveness (other than "more attractive than me", as such level does not exist), I come before you to reveal that the person you know as TV's Frink has been living a lie.  And by "lie," I do not refer to the verb, but rather the noun.  Granted, there are different versions of the noun and the verb, but to be more specific, as is my calling, I refer to a falsehood, not a physical position.

There has been much speculation, especially by some of the more unsavory characters on this webzone, that I am/was/is/were/was/wuz a sock of TV's Frink.  I refer not to the footwear that keeps one's feet warm, but rather the puppet kind.

When I say "puppet kind," I refer not to a race of puppets, but rather to a secondary account used by the same person who also has another, primary (or first in importance or significance or simple well-knowedness) account.

But I digress.  As is my calling.  I refer not to calling on a phone, in this case, by the way, or "btw," as some of the kids here say.

By kids, I refer to everyone younger than me, which is everyone.

*taps microphone*

Hello?

*crickets*

Oh well.  I'll just continue because I love to read myself type.

I was not TV's Frink's sock.  That was a lie.  The cake had nothing on that.  And by cake, I refer not to the band, but to the video game reference to the band.  And now, after over a week away from this site, which allowed me to spend more time teaching needy children at orphanages how to gaze admiringly at themselves in the mirror, but also to reflect on life, the universe, and everything, I am now in a position to reveal the truth (which is the opposite of the lie).

*drumroll*

TV's Frink...

*drumroll continues, and somehow gets more dramatic, despite not changing at all*

...is my sock.

*drumroll ends, dramatically*

The person you know as TV's Frink does not actually exist.  He has been my sock the whole time.  Unfortunately, the moderators of this site did not talk to me before the banning of the beloved socks of this forum (basically, me, but I guess Biff as well, although he's uglier than even most of you, at least in comparison to me, which is all the way, ugly, I mean).  And thus, they banned the wrong account, banning my primary account (Ric Olie) rather than the sock account (TV's Frink).

I have removed my Frink mask to reveal my true identity.  I stand before you, unencumbered by the charade I have been forced to maintain lo these past four-and-a-half years.  I am merely Ric.  I am me.

I will now take questions.  State your name and media credentials prior to your question if you wish to receive (i.e. get) an answer.

Tack said:

anvusfionGIO IB gG7E8BCGIYG **8 8G8 g8oa 8 G*YFG^&W9 9g8

 That's not a question, as near as I can tell.

darth_ender with the National Inquisitor.  I'm just curious if you are going to deny that you had an affair with Oprah Winfrey and that you're dying from abusing drugs for so long that you've shot your kidneys and your liver.  Only yes or no answers, please.

timdiggerm said:

Did you just confess to being Ralph Brown?

 Present your media credentials, please.

darth_ender said:

darth_ender with the National Inquisitor.  I'm just curious if you are going to deny that you had an affair with Oprah Winfrey and that you're dying from abusing drugs for so long that you've shot your kidneys and your liver.  Only yes or no answers, please.

 No, yes.

Only the ugly ones.

^That there's a fake, watch out Ric. He hasn't signed it.

^I say we send him to a Turkish prison!

Leonardo said:

 That might be the ugliest hairdresser I've ever seen.

Neglify said:

TV's Frink said:

I will now take questions.  State your name and media credentials prior to your question if you wish to receive (i.e. get) an answer.

 
Hai. Neglify here. Press credentials:

Here is my question.

Do you like movies about gladiators?

 Obviously.  But Anakin doesn't. :-(

DominicCobb said:

^That there's a fake, watch out Ric. He hasn't signed it.

 I just need to see credentials.  I don't care if they're legit.

Neither.  The correct answer is "Sho'nuff."

I'm your reflection shadow and an observer (that is, I make relevant observations for the benefit of others) for the Daily Observatory:

My question is: "How can such an old guy be so good looking?"

If there was an answer to that, all old guys would be good looking.

*is bored with press conference, changes to the paint drying channel*

I have a further question (see above post (the above post written by me) for my credentials--it says that I am your shadow and an observer (that is, I make relevant observations for the benefit of others) for the Daily Observatory):

Since you look exactly like Ralph Brown, how can you claim to be handsomer than he is?

I have yet another question (see above post for my credentials):

Are you not participating in the same sort of revisionism as George Lucas by changing the titles of all threads made by you with your name instead of your sock puppet's name without providing the original title alongside the new and improved one?

Warbler said:

*is bored with press conference, changes to the paint drying channel*

 MEDIA CREDENTIALS OR GET OUT