The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 70

moviefreakedmind said:

TV’s Frink said:

ChainsawAsh said:

moviefreakedmind said:

TV’s Frink said:

Honestly mfm, based on your posts about friends and relationships in this thread, you need professional help as well.

So I’m told. I don’t trust them though; they’ll probably just try to medicate me. Which I don’t need.

Don’t see a psychiatrist, see a psychologist or general therapist. They can’t prescribe medications. Even if you see a psychiatrist who can, if you tell them at the beginning that you don’t want to use medication except as an absolute last resort, a good shrink will listen.

Also don’t get discouraged if the first one you go to isn’t right for you. It can take time to find a therapist that fits your needs.

Which reminds me, I should probably call my old therapist and see if I can start going again…

Yes, to CA you must listen.

Californians are a bunch of damn hippies 😉

I am known to cause cancer in the state of California. But then again, what isn’t?

I know, it was a bad joke.

Quit drinking now before you end up like me and can’t leave the house or even be comfortable in your house alone without a couple of shots.

Can’t just quit. Could be deadly. Can’t afford to go through medical detox again. For a while anyway. I’ve tried to taper off but every time I start to make progress something happens in my life and I feel like my nerves are going to go crazy if I don’t resume normal drinking (which is something I would just deal with if I weren’t worried that intense nerves + alcohol withdrawal might bring my vitals to the edge of danger) so every time I make progress it goes down the toilet. I suppose I could just keep trying to taper, and even if it doesn’t work the reduced drinking for the limited time will at least give my body a little rest.

Oh wait you weren’t talking to me. Whoops! 😛

darthrush said:

I don’t know if this is the right thread but I think it is…oh well…here it is:

This past summer, things with both my friends and family have been crashing and burning. On one hand, I had hung out with a girl everyday for a month straight, became best friends with her, grew super close to her and her family. Short story; I didn’t have the confidence to make a move despite how obviuos it was that she liked me. She eventually just moved on and started dating someone else. I ended up losing all of my previous friends because I had hung out with this girl a lot and she was popular and had some past issues with one of my old friends.

My family and I have a really tense relationship because of how open I am becoming about my beliefs when it comes to religion and God. They are obviously getting shaken to their cores, and there have been some emotionally distressful arguments that got really personal. They just began attacking nothing but my character and my lack of respect for God.

This next year I have some serious academic challenges that I took upon myself with my classes and I feel almost no motivation to maintain my 4.0 for the last two years of highschool. I just am not seeming to care as much when my family will eventually disown me and I am starting to isolate myself from everyone.

In response to all of this I think I maybe made a mistake. I’ve done my fair share of pot before but never felt the need to come back to it and could go weeks without it. It just made everything a little funner and cooler. After a rough summer I decided to switch it up and get some booze instead for the first time.

And after a few nights of it, I feel like it is affecting me a lot differently than pot. Pot would just be an enhancement of reality, whereas when I get drunk I just feel like I can escape. And after every night, the next day I would just think about doing it more. This never happened with pot. And when I start drinking I can’t seem to stop. I have been getting shitfaced drunk a lot now and noticed that I will tremble a lot if I miss a day or two, and I really look forward to my evenings of escape like nothing else in my life. It seemed like the solution but I am scared that I am falling in a trap and risking future addiction. It’s just so much different than weed. When I say that the whiskey will just make me forget about all my problems and shortcomings, it couldn’t be more true. And when I’m sober, it is all I can think about. My shortcomings and failures and problems that I am having with friends and family. Alcohol just takes me away from it all. It’s so blissful and even being gone for a week for a family vacation sounds like hell cause I won’t be able to drink for a full week. I just don’t know right now. And the more I freak out about this stuff, the more I drink.

I wish I could help you more. I know my advice probably isn’t much appreciated in this regard because of my perspective, so I will just try to keep it more straightforward and less Mormon-y.

Alcohol is a very dangerous substance. Why it is legal and marijuana illegal (not always, but you get the idea) is bizarre to me. My guess is the more widespread recreational use is the real reason. That said, detoxification can be very dangerous and even lethal without assistance. You are going through some very difficult identity crises, that much is evident to any objective observer. Dealing with it by using drugs or alcohol will ultimately worsen you. First, your health will suffer. Second, you learn that the way to cope with life’s stressors is to use a substance rather than coping skills. Life is hard, but it can be managed with good coping skills and interpersonal support. I suspect you feel alienated from your parents right now, but if I were to take a non-moviefreakedmind guess, I believe your parents love you and will do their best to support you, even if you do differ with them on religion. Talk to them about your substance abuse issues and your stress. Let them know that you love them and want to maintain a lasting relationship, regardless of differences on religion. Ask them for help with alcohol and drugs, because I think you can both find common ground on the desire to help you get away from that.

I know you feel frustrated with their efforts to retain you in the faith. Be patient with them and don’t judge them for doing what they feel is right. Accept the help you want and gracefully decline the help you don’t want, and hopefully you can work through your addictions and maintain a friendly relationship with your parents.

moviefreakedmind said:

Your 4.0 GPA is your best option for getting as far away from your family as possible.

He doesn’t have to maintain a stellar GPA to get away. There are many good schools that will accept him with his imperfect GPA. He can even pursue a career in something non-academic. He can join the military, for instance. He can do what he wants with his life. I see no reason to encourage alienation from parents who obviously care about him.

suspiciouscoffee said:

^ Agreed. I love my family, but I spent most of the summer away from home, and it was the best experience of my life. That, and the fact that my mom got pissed when I made a “mediocre” 91% in precalculus last year keep me motivated to get good grades. Not that it really matters for me, I’m probably gonna screw up somewhere in college, drop out and/or kill myself in a few years at most.

Anyway, that’s enough rambling from me. Keep those grades up, kid.

To me, the advice and comments coming out of this thread are frightening and shortsighted. Yes, it sounds like your parents are overbearing. However, you need to bear in mind that there is a life beyond age 18. There is life outside of high school, and it may not even be college. Do what you want with your life. Find your ambition. I do believe schooling is the best way to go for most people, but really, it’s your life and your parents can’t dictate it. Though they may be overbearing, I am pretty certain (91% to be exact) that they are motivated by a deep love for you and a desire for your lifelong success.

I suggest you let yourself live up to lower standards. Aim as high as you can, but if you fall short, you still can call it a success. Failure is, in fact, an option. It’s not even a bad option. Failure can lead to greater success. Believe me, in a few days, you will probably here me spout off a find example of using my personal failures to hopefully find greater success. I’m in a very stressful time at work right now as well. I have failed at something. But my unit and I will pull through and make a greater success out of it.

Suicide is the never, ever the answer.

The Benefits of Failure

Really, it’s okay to fail. Never forget that.

ChainsawAsh said:

darthrush said:

I have been getting shitfaced drunk a lot now and noticed that I will tremble a lot if I miss a day or two

This is a huge red flag. Tremors are a symptom of withdrawal, which means you already have a physical dependence, and it sounds like you have a psychological dependence as well. Stop drinking now, while you can without massive health and mental consequences.

This is true. It often requires medical attention to successfully quit, with a taper of an anti-convulsant, usually a benzodiazepine like Ativan or Valium. Without this, you can go into a seizure. Worst case scenario is death. Get medical help.

moviefreakedmind said:

TV’s Frink said:

Honestly mfm, based on your posts about friends and relationships in this thread, you need professional help as well.

So I’m told. I don’t trust them though; they’ll probably just try to medicate me. Which I don’t need.

I hate to say it because I genuinely like you, but your advice and your perception and solutions to your own problems kinda stink in many cases. I hate to be rude, but you really seem to put yourself into a self-inflicted prison where you’ve hung the key up easily within reach, but refuse to grab it. Your advice often is of the sort that will also imprison others as well.

I feel that your thinking is based on very quick decisions and assumptions. “I know lots of Mormons and they’re all this way.” “Making friends is not worth it so I isolate, and now I’m depressed because I’m lonely.” “I don’t want to seek help because they’ll just force me to do something I don’t want to do.” Well, it sounds like you know the answer, and the answer is that there is no good answer. I’ve seen it in the politics thread too, and this is coming from a fellow conservative. You draw conclusions based on too little information and are inflexible in your thinking from then on. It hurts you, and I’m afraid your advice might hurt others as well.

moviefreakedmind said:

Warbler said:

Maybe what you need to do with your parents is see if you get to a point with them where the both of you and agree to disagree about religion. If that is possible.

From what I understand of his situation, that won’t happen. I know that not all Mormons are like this, but their households and communities are notorious for ostracizing people that walk away from the faith more so than any other religion in America. I’ve personally seen it happen to people I know.

As TV’s Frink would say, “Source?”

Yes, I know it happens. It happens with lots of religions. It even happens when atheists turn religious, though the switch is usually the other way around. I’d like to see some statistics that make Mormons so much more notorious for this than other religions.

Possessed said:

Can’t just quit. Could be deadly. Can’t afford to go through medical detox again. For a while anyway. I’ve tried to taper off but every time I start to make progress something happens in my life and I feel like my nerves are going to go crazy if I don’t resume normal drinking (which is something I would just deal with if I weren’t worried that intense nerves + alcohol withdrawal might bring my vitals to the edge of danger) so every time I make progress it goes down the toilet. I suppose I could just keep trying to taper, and even if it doesn’t work the reduced drinking for the limited time will at least give my body a little rest.

If I were you, I would cut down in my work, get Medicaid, and seek help. You truly need substance abuse therapy. Maybe the inpatient thing didn’t work out for you (largely because of cost, which I believe). But you need help, and sadly, behavioral health/substance abuse services are most beneficial for the poor and rich. The middle class get stuck with high medical bills. Seriously, your health is more important than your work. There are better jobs out there than management at Wal-Mart. Perhaps you can even take a leave of absence for a while as you get your health back. But you truly need help, and you shouldn’t let the cost deter you. You should do what it takes to get that help.

moviefreakedmind said:

I knew that your situation was more complicated, but you should definitely try. You’re young, there’s hope for you.

In truth I don’t drink *that* much. It’s just the physical need that’s the problem. I’m not a binge drinker, at least not very often. I don’t get hammered very often like I used to, now it’s just that I need a couple drinks to calm my nerves. I take a shot in the morning to get moving, another shot or 2 at lunch time, and then 2 or 3 shots at night. (This is less than it used to be, I’m not saying I never party but getting actually drunk is more of a once a week thing). It’s almost like I use it as medicine for my nerves. In fact I would even venture to say my dependence on alcohol has more to do with anxiety than it does an actual physical addiction to the alcohol, as I’ve NEVER (even at my worst… And I know this is strange to say but it’s only my addiction that’s at it’s worst right now, my drinking isn’t all that crazy, it’s just that what little bit I need, well I NEED it) had tremors or shakes or even irritability when I don’t drink. I just start to get really nervous. My usual routine now is to have a drink or two, then smoke small amounts of pot. It seems to be working for the most part, but replacing the alcohol completely with pot would be even better but right now smoking without having a drink (and one or two generally does seem to be enough) within the last few hours of smoking gives me bad anxiety.

That sounds like DTs, not just anxiety.

No it doesn’t, like I said I don’t get shakes. Just nervousness. My heartbeat doesn’t get irregular either, because trust me I’d know if it did I have a weird paranoia about my heartbeat that causes me to check my pulse like once an hour. It’s actually the main source of my general anxiety is my heart, which is weird and infuriating because I don’t even have a heart problem, but ever since a few bad k2 trips back in the day I’m for some reason obsessed by fear.

And also I don’t usually have a very high amount of drinks in a day. Definitely less than what most people would consider a “party” if it were drank all at once.

I’ve always had anxiety.

Well, I did misread what I thought you had described as having tremors (now I see that you’ve NEVER…had tremors). Still, there is a high risk of DTs were you to go without drinking, judging by how much you currently consume.

https://www.mdcalc.com/audit-c-alcohol-use

I’m drunker (JEDIT: and stoned-er) than I should be on a Wednesday night (Thursday morning?) and I’m sad that my closest friend never answered the text I sent her four hours ago.

That’s all.

Ok?