I think it's the latter for the housing situation; The truth is that I have it good at home, but I feel I should have a place at home by now, and unsure if I really want to move out yet. I would rather like to rent, but relatives insist I should buy a house or condo instead.
If you are earning near $30,000 per year and have few expenses due to being able to live at home in a subsidized manner it seems a perfect situation in which you may save up the required down payment on something manageable. It might be outside of your zone of relative comfort, but then so could be considered all meaningful life experiences.
Please consider very carefully every extraneous purchase at this time. It is a common cycle of despondency that erodes ones finances: bad feeling leads to spending in order to compensate for the feelings, justifying same with a narrative of having 'earned' the privilege or 'needing' the release that spending might provide, but every dollar squandered merely adds to the current problem and postpones its solutions. It is the short-term gain, long-term pain strategy whereas you require the inverse.
A challenge accomplished is as rewarding as a series of indulgences so here is a task for you to consider: this month attempt to spend nothing at all on pleasures of any kind for yourself. Place all of your remaining funds in an interest bearing account and watch the balance increase week by week. You might be surprised how quickly you will amass a down-payment--and, by extension, access to personal freedom.
Religion, on the other hand: I honestly never cared for my religion, but still hang on due to family obligations. Their viewpoints as I grew older seemed to be out of touch with how people really behave, but I have no valid argument. Growing up in a Catholic environment has made me afraid of sex, and I guess I could understand some points they make, but to me Christianity seems to be anti-modern at its core.
Coming to terms with one's religion can be a sign of maturity: a faith performed under protest is no faith at all, just as being forced into continuing an activity in which one does not personally believe is a form of oppression. You must decide the basic purpose of religion in your life. If you truly believe its tenets, but despise them for being difficult then you must seek the assistance of a priest to find some means of discovering solace in what you must bear; if you truly do not believe that your religion has any basis in reality, and are merely conforming to the wishes of others, you must stop such a behavior at once as it serves no purpose: for if God is real he will likely despise your cowardice and if He is not then it will be you who will learn to resent your younger self after the ones you allowed to dictate such control eventually pass beyond the ability to continue to do so--and thirty more years of your life have slipped away.
If you do not believe in your religion, let the following basic principles guide you further:
1) Do some reasonable research into your faith before casting it aside. Be certain that you understand it thoroughly--both its weaknesses and strengths--so that you might be honest that you are making a fair, and not merely a reactionary, break.
2) Decide on the means of delivering your decision. Some individuals are better at orating a subject while others prefer the written word. Given that this is your fight, you should choose the field of battle.
3) Outline your feelings in the most positive and optimistic terms possible. Do not criticize, accuse, seek to score any points, or single out anyone in your decision. Be as fair, or more-so, to those who consider their faith to be real as you would wish them to be towards your dissenting view. Remain calm and do not return an argument for an argument. Your delivery should inspire a consideration that this decision has come about via a step towards maturity rather than an outbreak of petulance.
4) Leave the door open. Do not be autocratic in your decision, but lean towards it by degrees. While leaving your faith might necessitate a cessation of prayerful activities, it might not necessarily mean that you avoid all contact with the faithful. You might agree to continue a regimen of weekly mass attendance while still living at home in order for your family to save face if such might be a potential issue. Concede to having a concern over your parents' feelings and welfare that appears to supersede your own, but do not allow this to be manipulated into a retraction of your lack of faith: this is not about allowing anyone leverage over you; it is about you doing things for others on your own terms out of respect and/or consideration. Any attempt at bullying or badgering will then allow you to withdraw such actions as a countermeasure so ensure that you fulfill your end of the bargain without begrudging the favor.
5) Do not seek to de-convert anyone. Actions are the most powerful means of proving or disproving your new-found convictions so do not dilute them with needless words and/or arguments. Further, avoid all conversations regarding religion. Make no comment when it is brought up and respond obliquely when questioned directly. It is not up to you to change anyone else's mind just as it is not up to any other person to change your own.
6) Remain ethical. Behave in a superior moral fashion than you did while religious. You do not need others to point out how far you have fallen into depravity since leaving the Church and to thereby assuage their suspicions that the only reason you wished such an exit was in order to be free of rules and obligations. Prove that you are not a lazy and hollow individual by taking up a new activity or volunteer position. Dress better than before and remain calm in situations that might ordinarily have provoked. Act with kindness and consideration, but do not be anyone's fool.
Feel free to seek further advice from those you might trust as circumstances might require and consider researching information on temperaments so as to better understand the motivations of those around you.
I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton
“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”