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The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 2

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darth_ender said:


Before becoming a nurse, I was in behavioral health.  My last job in that field dealt very heavily with foster children, and my previous two jobs did as well, only to a lesser extent.  I understand on a limited scope the challenges that presents, though I have never been in your shoes and could never truly understand.  But I am glad you have a father who was there for you and made efforts to make things work, even with the challenges he faced.  But your mother's lack of involvement is indeed sad.  I don't blame you for not wanting to be involved with her anymore.  Perhaps one day she will seek contact with you.  It may be healing for you, though I admit the risk of further disappointment as well.  But I can say that regardles of your mother's poor choices, there is also healing in forgiving.  Perhaps you already have, and perhaps you don't want to.  This is of course your choice.  But I at least wanted to mention it.  I'm glad you have a good father and step-mother. :)


Truth is, my stepmother and me never liked each other until I moved out. Now we get along quite good.
And I think if my mother seeks contact again, I'll tell her that it is way too late for that. I really don't remember big parts of my childhood, but my father told me that while I was living with him, she often promised to get me for the weekend, but never showed up. She abandoned me three times and I won't give her a chance to disappoint me again. I have not forgiven her, but I don't really hate her. I just don't care anymore.

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Please accept my condolences. Do you have any fond memories of him you might wish to share?

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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Sorry to hear about this.  Yes, sharing good memories would be a great way to honor him.

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Possessed said:

My grandfather passed this morning.

 I'm very sorry to hear that, Possessed.   You have my sympathies.   I'll pray for you and your family. 

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...... So I've had some stuff happen to me recently..... but I'm not sure if I should share it..... It's like relationship type stuff...... ..... Yeah not sure if anyone here would like to hear about that..... Suffice it to say.... Sucks, sucks hard.

Possessed said:

My grandfather passed this morning.
My sincerest condolences for your loss.

http://i.imgur.com/MXA8TmO.gif

http://twister111.tumblr.com
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twister111 said:

...... So I've had some stuff happen to me recently..... but I'm not sure if I should share it..... It's like relationship type stuff...... ..... Yeah not sure if anyone here would like to hear about that..... Suffice it to say.... Sucks, sucks hard.

Possessed said:

My grandfather passed this morning.

My sincerest condolences for your loss.

http://i.imgur.com/MXA8TmO.gif

 Well if sharing would help, share.

Look at the bright side, at least you had a relationship that could go wrong.  Not sure how much help that is but it's the best I could come up with on the fly.

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DrCrowTStarwars said:

twister111 said:

...... So I've had some stuff happen to me recently..... but I'm not sure if I should share it..... It's like relationship type stuff...... ..... Yeah not sure if anyone here would like to hear about that..... Suffice it to say.... Sucks, sucks hard.


 Well if sharing would help, share.

Look at the bright side, at least you had a relationship that could go wrong.  Not sure how much help that is but it's the best I could come up with on the fly.
....Well okay, a really, really shortened version. Long story short pretty much my entire life of 26 years there's never really been a good time or a good person to open my heart to. Various factors but I thought I found someone recently that could've turned into something official. Well we would talk about being together in rather intimate and varied ways for hours on end daily.... Then suddenly he cut off contact with me and basically only left me a message after weeks of non-contact just filled of stuff to hurt me.... It's like he randomly went from a nice guy to psycho.... We hadn't established anything official but yeah still sucks to start to build up hope for something only for it to turn so nasty for like no reason.....

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http://twister111.tumblr.com
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Ouch, that is too bad.  Still I am sure things will get better at some point.  I am going on 30 and have never been in a relationship and my mom was 28 before she met my dad.  These things can get better with time.  Sorry you are in pain right now.

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Thank you. I probably wouldn't have posted anything here about it if it weren't for that last message.... It's like if he didn't want to talk to me anymore well why not just continue with the non-contact? It's like, wow, really did he really have to try to hurt me to get no more contact with me? It's like I almost sent him a message back in response but it honestly seems like the more I would try to talk to him the more nasty he'll get just to get me to stop.... So yeah pretty much the only thing it seems I can do is just move on with time.... :/


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Thanks for the kind words everybody.

And that sucks twister, people like that have serious problems with themselves.  They're own lack of self esteem makes them put down people they care about to make themselves feel better and feel invincible.  I would almost guarantee he wishes he hadn't done it but now he's got to sleep in the bed he made for himself.

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Possessed said:

Also, for what it's worth, I've decided to try cutting out alcohol and increasing marijuana to compensate

 If anybody's been wondering, I made it about 3 hours after posting this.  XD Lol.  Although I did manage to increase the marijuana, but it wasn't to compensate for anything.

Although I actually have slowed down a bit on the drinking, not so much on purpose or intentionally, just haven't craved it as much.  I don't know how good that really is, as it is not likely to last, but at least it's not giving me withdrawals since it's a natural slowing down, and it gives me a chance to rest up a bit.  Of course I'm still drinking every day, and even during the day, but instead of starting when I first wake up like I was, I've been making it til about 2 in the afternoon now.  :)

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Progress is good :)  I still recommend seeking professional help.  I can't tell you how many patients I've provided with Ativan or Valium to ease off the withdrawals, and it's been a great benefit in the short term to work through those symptoms.  Obviously long-term help would require more than just turning to such meds, but there are programs out there that can get you through it.  I wish you the best, and hope you can find a way to beat your beverage demons. :)

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I have absolutely no self esteem. I always assume that everyone is thinking negative things about me, and find it impossible to initiate anything with the opposite sex because I think that if I talk to them they'll think I'm creepy and weird. I'm at an age where all of my friends have relationships headed straight towards marriage, and as much as I would like to have that, I doubt I ever will.

I surprisingly have great friends though, and love being around them, although when I actually stop and think about it I really have no idea why any of them would want to associate with me. I have started to slowly recognize that all of these things that I think probably are completely irrational and not true, but still have no confidence and fear that I never will.

The Person in Question

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moviefreakedmind said:

I have absolutely no self esteem. I always assume that everyone is thinking negative things about me, and find it impossible to initiate anything with the opposite sex because I think that if I talk to them they'll think I'm creepy and weird. I'm at an age where all of my friends have relationships headed straight towards marriage, and as much as I would like to have that, I doubt I ever will.

I surprisingly have great friends though, and love being around them, although when I actually stop and think about it I really have no idea why any of them would want to associate with me. I have started to slowly recognize that all of these things that I think probably are completely irrational and not true, but still have no confidence and fear that I never will.

 I know how you feel, I am in the same place.  With me it's more a lack of a job then anything else.  I over came my shyness with woman after a while by not caring if I looked stupid, now it's just the fact that there are no jobs around here that keeps me from dating.

One thing I did to get over my problem is I watch some old movies that featured characters and actor with an easy going manner.  I didn't so much pattern myself after them in the old fashioned way so much as I just let things slide off of my back and always look calm and care free.  In my case watching Carry Grant, Thin Man, and Groucho Marx movies worked wonders.  Also watching the series Jeeves and Wooster and reading P.G Wodehouse helped alot too.  I don't know how much help this will be to you but it got me through my awkward teenage years and if you have ever seen me then you know I am the size of a house but girls are always coming on to me because of how easy going I am.

I know what it is like to watch all of your friends getting married and to be all alone.  My little brother is practically engaged to his girlfriend and I have never had one due to my lack of a job.  I hope things get better for you soon.

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Hang in there, I am sure things will get better.  I used to be extremely awkward but as I said personality counts for a lot.

To prove it here is a picture of me, I mean I am the most awkward looking bloated person there could be and I have a rash all over my body that you can't see, but girls who talk to me are interested in me all the time. 

Hang in there because if there is hope for me then there is hope for everyone.

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Still I do understand how you feel, I am going to be thirty this year and being a guy I didn't give much thought to this matter when I was a kid but I always just assumed by the time I was this age I would be a world famous writer and be married with a kid or two.  So I am kind of depressed right now.

Still thinks are getting better and as I said they are much better then they were when I was a teenager.  If you are interested in a girl just go up and talk to her like you would anyone else about something you have in common and no matter how nervous you are don't show it.  That tactic has worked wonders for me.

Hope things get better for you.

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HotRod said:

Fuck me!!!!

 In the [REDACTED]?

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I know how you guys feel, I used to be that way, and I can tell you the most important thing is to just ignore those feelings, be yourself, and have confidence.  I know that sounds generic, but really it works.  Women are more attracted to confidence than they are good looks/buffness/whatever.  Most are anyway.  Even in my college sociology class they said looks in a mate are way more important to men than they are to women (key word being "mate", not "fling").  Women mostly think people are creeps if they act perverted.  I personally know alot of couples where the man is marginally less attractive (not that being attractive matters in life, but this pertains to the "women thinking I'm a creep" thing) than the woman, and it works because the man is comfortable.

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Knock that shit off man, it's just a forum, it shouldn't do either of those things.  Good luck to ya.