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The Place to Go for Emotional Support

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Alright, I think we all get a little crazy from time to time.  I am starting this thread because I have seen people talk about how depressed they are.  DrCrowTStarWars is the most recent example that comes to mind.  I don't mean to call him out, but he has posted his feelings rather prominently, so I don't think he'd mind.  This thread is meant only for either sharing your deepest troubles (in other words, not the petty stuff like the b*tching thread), and for those who wish to offer support.  No teasing, no mocking, no bickering, no side conversations about someone.

My reason for starting this thread in this particular instance stems in part over guilt for teasing DrCrow.  He is clearly a bright guy with some amazing insight into characters and stories.  He also has some extreme, irritating, and dangerous political views that have caused me to criticize him rather cruelly at times.  And then he also has some drastic self-critical views that make me fear for him.  So in my attempt to offer support, I wish to share this:

DrCrow: you are a worthwhile person, and there is no doubt in my mind that your family is grateful you are a part of them.  You hold some noble ideals and clearly want a better world to live in.  You have some amazing insight and clearly are an intelligent person.  All this is coming from someone over the Internet who has never met you.  But my opinion should not matter so much.  I am certain your family, flesh and blood people who know you personally, love you very much and want you to be happy.  I am sure that if you take the time to think about it, there are many who love you: friends, classmates, clergy.  Don't worry about what a bunch of people who for all you know could be Bingowings socks think about you.  Yes, I am a real person, but to you, I am nothing more than a bunch of words.  I will never meet you in real life.  My critical statements should not matter to you, nor anyone else's.  If I can do anything to offer you further cyber support, let me know :)

The ROTJ collaborative thread is a wealth of ideas, both on how to edit Return of the Jedi, as well as how to collaborate in an edit.

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Darth Ender ..... this is a really nice idea.  There should be some basic rules of thumb for THIS thread as we do have members in the off topic area that may take the liberty of slanting it's purpose by way of the unmoderated status of this section.

JEDIT: What I mean above, aside from what DE wrote, was that there be some moderator back up for this thread at least considering it's intended purpose and because it is in off-topic.  I'm sorry that I wasn't clear enough when I first posted this.

I personally think this could be useful for those willing to talk.  It DOES help when one has someone who is actually listening.

Thanks

This post has been edited.

“Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.”
― Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”

― Socrates

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Thanks a lot Darth and the rest of you.  I am feeling better today, I think it was just the stress of the holidays, losing my favorite great aunt, and feeling lonely that caused me to lose it.

I saw my doctor today and I got a new med to take when I am hit with one of these waves.

Thank you all so much for your support and thank you Darth for starting this thread.

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DrCrowTStarwars said:

Thanks a lot Darth and the rest of you.  I am feeling better today, I think it was just the stress of the holidays, losing my favorite great aunt, and feeling lonely that caused me to lose it.

I saw my doctor today and I got a new med to take when I am hit with one of these waves.

Thank you all so much for your support and thank you Darth for starting this thread.

 I'm glad to hear that things are going a bit better now. Hopefully it stays that way for a good long time.

Because you share my religion, perhaps it might also help you to know that you are one of the people I pray for regularly. It may not take much for me to do, but hopefully it helps you see that my support for you is genuine, even if I can't do anything concrete to help.

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RicOlie_2 said:

DrCrowTStarwars said:

Thanks a lot Darth and the rest of you.  I am feeling better today, I think it was just the stress of the holidays, losing my favorite great aunt, and feeling lonely that caused me to lose it.

I saw my doctor today and I got a new med to take when I am hit with one of these waves.

Thank you all so much for your support and thank you Darth for starting this thread.

 I'm glad to hear that things are going a bit better now. Hopefully it stays that way for a good long time.

Because you share my religion, perhaps it might also help you to know that you are one of the people I pray for regularly. It may not take much for me to do, but hopefully it helps you see that my support for you is genuine, even if I can't do anything concrete to help.

 Thank you that is a big help.  Just knowing people care is a big help and things are getting better it's just slow right now and the holidays kind of rubbed in the loss of my great aunt.

Thank you so much this is a big help.

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WRONG PLACE FOR SILLINESS!  I would like to keep this thread devoted to helping others, please :)

The ROTJ collaborative thread is a wealth of ideas, both on how to edit Return of the Jedi, as well as how to collaborate in an edit.

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darth_ender said:

WRONG PLACE FOR SILLINESS!  I would like to keep this thread devoted to helping others, please :)

I am sorry to see that the liberty was taken so quickly.  You've done a nice thing here DE ...... let's keep the positive momentum going.

:)   

DrCrowT ..... would you tell us about your Great Aunt?  I'll bet you've got some great stories to tell.  Our elders are far more important than they're given credit for.  My grandmother was such a peach.  She taught me things that have stayed with me to this day.  She also had a great right hook.

 

This post has been edited.

“Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.”
― Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”

― Socrates

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Thank you for starting this thread, darth_ender.  Let's hope that it fulfils its intended purpose.

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I'm an alcoholic, a drug (depending on who you ask) addict,  borderline anorexic (comes and goes, I'm not really that skinny though but it's probably because my metabolism is slow because I go through spells of eating normally then for weeks I'll barely eat),  my grandpa is dying on hospice of a brain tumor, my grandma, his wife, will probably die of MS soon after,  I don't even know where my mom lives and whether or not she cares about me is highly debatable,  I struggle with suicidal thoughts, not that I would ever act on them because it would destroy my dad who is a great dude who truly deserves no more heartbreak, but I'm tired of thinking about it all the time.  HELP ME.  Nah just kidding, I know nobody here can help with that stuff, I just wanted to vent about it real quick.  I feel a little better listing it all out like that.

This post has been edited.

Chickens have personalities.

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Though words are hollow comforts, they are all I can offer. Please understand that though I do not claim to have lived your life I have some true understanding of the type of pain and struggles you are experiencing.

I have some questions in case you would like to expand on your post. Answer the ones with which you are comfortable. You can PM if you'd prefer or ignore me completely; I am not here to burden you further.

How long ago did you begin drinking and at what age?

What is your drug of choice? When did you start taking it?

When did you last see your mother? Why were you separated?

Do you live with or near your father?

I am sorry that your grandparents are dying, but am very glad your father is a part of your life. It is so important to those of us with suicide as a constant, nagging, reminder of the easy way out that we remember the importance of our relationships and the devastation that our deaths can bring (just as you are unfortunately experiencing with your grandparents). We are all in this together and sometimes need to shift our burdens slightly in order to be able to persevere.

We are never really quite aware of how we influence the people around us. I hope it is of some comfort to you that your post has given me the impetus to live through yet one more day knowing that I have another companion on this road.

Regards,

Praetorian

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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Possessed said:


I don't even know where my mom lives and whether or not she cares about me is highly debatable,


Same here. My mom wanted a baby, my dad didn't. She stopped taking the pill without telling him. Then I came, my dad was happy, she was not. Six years later they got a divorce and my dad and me moved away. I can't remember seeing her for the next few years. Later I came to foster parents, because my father had to work horrible shifts and wasn't able to care for me. In those two years I saw her every second weekend. Her boyfriend back then showed me Star Wars for the first time on VHS. This is, besides giving birth, the only thing I appreciate of her.
My dad married again and I moved in with his new family. About 8 years later, when I was doing my military service, I recieved a letter from my mother. It took me one week to open it. She wrote that she wanted to have contact with me again. It took another week until I wrote back. First we wrote letters, later we called each other, I even visited her twice. The second time I visited her, she invited her mother who hadn't seen me in 15 years. A few months later my mom's mother died. All I could say was: "I'm sorry." I mean, I barely knew that woman and this was the first "familiy"-loss, I had to deal with.
I can't remember if it was before or after my grandmother's death when my mom called me to tell me she had married again. I was stunned. I was okay with the fact that she married again, I was not okay that she didn't tell me before.
And then she called to tell me she would go an a vacation and would call, when she's back. That was 12 years ago. I don't know where she lives, I don't even know her current name. And I don't care. The only thing I'm afraid of is that she dies and I have to pay for the funeral.

So, wholeheartedly...
FUCK YOU, MOM, wherever you are.

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Ouch, TK.  I'm sorry to hear that.  My situation is not that heartbreaking, my condolences. 

I will put answers to the questions in the post.

Post Praetorian said:

Though words are hollow comforts, they are all I can offer. Please understand that though I do not claim to have lived your life I have some true understanding of the type of pain and struggles you are experiencing.

I have some questions in case you would like to expand on your post. Answer the ones with which you are comfortable. You can PM if you'd prefer or ignore me completely; I am not here to burden you further.

How long ago did you begin drinking and at what age? About 7 years ago at age 15.

What is your drug of choice? When did you start taking it? Marijuana also at age 15, which is why I said it depends on who you ask because some would not call that being a drug addict.  It's not the drug that I'm concerned with, I know it isn't going to overdose or kill me, it's just the addiction, and how I must have it to be able to relax or go out or do anything really.

When did you last see your mother? Why were you separated? I'm not sure when I last saw her, and as far as I can tell we were separated because she had some sort of mental breakdown.  She up and left my dad and me and her whole family.  She just disappeared from everybody.  She gave my dad no explanation other than he hadn't done anything wrong, she won't talk to her own parents (which are the ones that are dying by the way), or her brothers and sisters, and she's simply mortified at the thought of ever seeing my dad again, which is another symptom of a mental breakdown seeing as, once again and by her own admittance, he did nothing wrong and didn't deserve this.

Do you live with or near your father? I live near him in a rented house by myself.  I should really try to get some roommates or something so that I spend less time alone. 

I am sorry that your grandparents are dying, but am very glad your father is a part of your life. It is so important to those of us with suicide as a constant, nagging, reminder of the easy way out that we remember the importance of our relationships and the devastation that our deaths can bring (just as you are unfortunately experiencing with your grandparents). We are all in this together and sometimes need to shift our burdens slightly in order to be able to persevere.

We are never really quite aware of how we influence the people around us. I hope it is of some comfort to you that your post has given me the impetus to live through yet one more day knowing that I have another companion on this road.

Regards,

Praetorian

 

Chickens have personalities.

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Possessed said:

I'm an alcoholic, a drug (depending on who you ask) addict,  borderline anorexic (comes and goes, I'm not really that skinny though but it's probably because my metabolism is slow because I go through spells of eating normally then for weeks I'll barely eat),  my grandpa is dying on hospice of a brain tumor, my grandma, his wife, will probably die of MS soon after,  I don't even know where my mom lives and whether or not she cares about me is highly debatable,  I struggle with suicidal thoughts, not that I would ever act on them because it would destroy my dad who is a great dude who truly deserves no more heartbreak, but I'm tired of thinking about it all the time.  HELP ME.  Nah just kidding, I know nobody here can help with that stuff, I just wanted to vent about it real quick.  I feel a little better listing it all out like that.

 Alcohol is a serious problem that can really interfere with a person's emotional wellbeing when used in excess.  Your appetite issues could be related to your pot usage, which can often reduces hunger.  To me it sounds like you use these substances to escape facing your many challenges.  I am sorry you are going through so much.  I recommend you seek real help.  Instead of using alcohol and marijuana to cope with your significant challenges, there are resources out there that can provide you with real escape.  You can become engaged in activities that improve your self esteem, find support from others who may be going through similar challenges.  I believe I misjudged you in something I said a few weeks ago, and I apologize for that.  Please look for professional help, and reach out to others for support.  Even something like Facebook can get you hooked up with others, like cancer or multiple sclerosis support groups.  Hope things look up for you.  Thinking about you. :)

The ROTJ collaborative thread is a wealth of ideas, both on how to edit Return of the Jedi, as well as how to collaborate in an edit.

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It's alright about what you said a few weeks ago,  I was pretty obnoxious there for a little bit, not really sure what got into me for those couple of days or however long it was, and my response was pretty bad too.

Also, for what it's worth, I've decided to try cutting out alcohol and increasing marijuana to compensate, which I know is not ideal or the best solution but it has it's advantages to the situation I'm in now, which follows:

*Well this one's pretty obvious, but I'll list it anyway, marijuana is MUCH less harmful to the body that alcohol.  Like extremely.  Drink alcohol the way I've been for years and you'll have a shot liver.  Smoke marijuana the way I have been for years and you'll have a raspy voice.  (also, lung cancer from pot is far less likely than what most people commonly believe.)

*Being under the influence of pot is ALOT easier to conceal and less "impairing" than alcohol.

*Increasing the pot after cutting out the alcohol will make the cutting out of the alcohol itself easier and reduce withdrawals.

*Won't cause stomach problems like the alcohol is and will help with nausea.

*Plus (and this is a big one) quitting alcohol is pretty hard, and not only does pot make it easier, but once I'm used to being off the alcohol, if I decide to quit the pot as well going off pot is waaay easier than going off alcohol, from what I'm given to understand anyway.


I haven't drank any today (it's 3:45 PM where I live) but I've smoked more weed than on a normal day, and actually I feel pretty great.  It's nice to not have a headache, not feel like I have the flu, and not have an upset stomach.

Chickens have personalities.

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TK-949 said:

Possessed said:


I don't even know where my mom lives and whether or not she cares about me is highly debatable,



Same here. My mom wanted a baby, my dad didn't. She stopped taking the pill without telling him. Then I came, my dad was happy, she was not. Six years later they got a divorce and my dad and me moved away. I can't remember seeing her for the next few years. Later I came to foster parents, because my father had to work horrible shifts and wasn't able to care for me. In those two years I saw her every second weekend. Her boyfriend back then showed me Star Wars for the first time on VHS. This is, besides giving birth, the only thing I appreciate of her.
My dad married again and I moved in with his new family. About 8 years later, when I was doing my military service, I recieved a letter from my mother. It took me one week to open it. She wrote that she wanted to have contact with me again. It took another week until I wrote back. First we wrote letters, later we called each other, I even visited her twice. The second time I visited her, she invited her mother who hadn't seen me in 15 years. A few months later my mom's mother died. All I could say was: "I'm sorry." I mean, I barely knew that woman and this was the first "familiy"-loss, I had to deal with.
I can't remember if it was before or after my grandmother's death when my mom called me to tell me she had married again. I was stunned. I was okay with the fact that she married again, I was not okay that she didn't tell me before.
And then she called to tell me she would go an a vacation and would call, when she's back. That was 12 years ago. I don't know where she lives, I don't even know her current name. And I don't care. The only thing I'm afraid of is that she dies and I have to pay for the funeral.

So, wholeheartedly...
FUCK YOU, MOM, wherever you are.

 Before becoming a nurse, I was in behavioral health.  My last job in that field dealt very heavily with foster children, and my previous two jobs did as well, only to a lesser extent.  I understand on a limited scope the challenges that presents, though I have never been in your shoes and could never truly understand.  But I am glad you have a father who was there for you and made efforts to make things work, even with the challenges he faced.  But your mother's lack of involvement is indeed sad.  I don't blame you for not wanting to be involved with her anymore.  Perhaps one day she will seek contact with you.  It may be healing for you, though I admit the risk of further disappointment as well.  But I can say that regardles of your mother's poor choices, there is also healing in forgiving.  Perhaps you already have, and perhaps you don't want to.  This is of course your choice.  But I at least wanted to mention it.  I'm glad you have a good father and step-mother. :)

The ROTJ collaborative thread is a wealth of ideas, both on how to edit Return of the Jedi, as well as how to collaborate in an edit.

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Possessed said:

It's alright about what you said a few weeks ago,  I was pretty obnoxious there for a little bit, not really sure what got into me for those couple of days or however long it was, and my response was pretty bad too.

Also, for what it's worth, I've decided to try cutting out alcohol and increasing marijuana to compensate, which I know is not ideal or the best solution but it has it's advantages to the situation I'm in now, which follows:

*Well this one's pretty obvious, but I'll list it anyway, marijuana is MUCH less harmful to the body that alcohol.  Like extremely.  Drink alcohol the way I've been for years and you'll have a shot liver.  Smoke marijuana the way I have been for years and you'll have a raspy voice.  (also, lung cancer from pot is far less likely than what most people commonly believe.)

*Being under the influence of pot is ALOT easier to conceal and less "impairing" than alcohol.

*Increasing the pot after cutting out the alcohol will make the cutting out of the alcohol itself easier and reduce withdrawals.

*Won't cause stomach problems like the alcohol is and will help with nausea.

*Plus (and this is a big one) quitting alcohol is pretty hard, and not only does pot make it easier, but once I'm used to being off the alcohol, if I decide to quit the pot as well going off pot is waaay easier than going off alcohol, from what I'm given to understand anyway.


I haven't drank any today (it's 3:45 PM where I live) but I've smoked more weed than on a normal day, and actually I feel pretty great.  It's nice to not have a headache, not feel like I have the flu, and not have an upset stomach.

 Thanks for being forgiving :)

And I agree between the two, I'd rather have you use more pot than alcohol.  Funny how one is legal and one is not, when really it should be reversed based on safety.  Your points are valid and I believe all true.  But I still encourage you to get outside help.  Behavioral health cannot and will not report illegal drug usage to police.  You can get help without being judged.  Your answer may help in the short term, but I hope you will seek long-term help as well.  In any case, good luck!  Glad you feel better today, and hang in there!

The ROTJ collaborative thread is a wealth of ideas, both on how to edit Return of the Jedi, as well as how to collaborate in an edit.

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