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The Phantom Menace - Spence Edit

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I've been quietly working on this in tandem with Duel of the Fates, and I wanted to get a discussion topic out there as I always get great ideas from that.

Here's the basic bullet points so far:

-Remove Jar Jar and Gungans completely.

-Minimize focus on Anakin. He is a supporting character to the two main Jedi. Qui-Gon is the main protagonist.

-Remove any scene that is not exciting, fun, or pushing the story forward.

-Darken Sidious’ face, so as to make it less obvious he is Palpatine.

-Trim down all action to be at its purest and most exciting.

-Get off of Tatooine as quickly as possible.

-Remove C-3PO completely.

-No midichlorians.

-Speed up Coruscant to make the senate scenes more exciting and the Jedi scenes more intriguing.

-Anakin does not accidentally do anything. Everything he does in the final act is purposeful.

-The film ends with Qui-Gon’s funeral, with a sweeping musical track to fit. The final shot of Palpatine is removed as well. Less obvious that he is sidious.

I'll be using the Blu-Ray as my source, so the new Yoda and better picture quality will be part of it. I would like to release this one in hi-def AVCHD as well.

The main goal is to turn this into what it was meant to be: A swashbuckling adventure flick. Build the mythology, but always make sure the pacing and fun are the most important thing.

So that's the basics. What do you guys think? is there anything that you've always wanted to see in a TPM edit that you've never seen done before? Throw out some ideas!

 

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I've always found the motivations of the Neimodians to be not very credible. If all mention of "trade disputes" could be removed and replaced with some more aggressive motivation (expansionism, a stab at galactic dominance, an attempt to cultivate slave labour etc. etc.), I think the film would mesh more easily with the style of the original trilogy while making the Neimodians more threatening villains.

Would you consider dubbing the Neimodians or using subtitles at all?

How about completely changing the nature of the Federation, their motivations and their origins?

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TheoOdo said:

I've always found the motivations of the Neimodians to be not very credible. If all mention of "trade disputes" could be removed and replaced with some more aggressive motivation (expansionism, a stab at galactic dominance, an attempt to cultivate slave labour etc. etc.), I think the film would mesh more easily with the style of the original trilogy while making the Neimodians more threatening villains.

Would you consider dubbing the Neimodians or using subtitles at all?

How about completely changing the nature of the Federation, their motivations and their origins?

 Yes on all accounts. Still figuring out exactly how to do all that, but yes. I definitely would like new voice dubs, and a bigger threat. I don't know what that threat is going to be, but it will not be a "tax dispute."

Mainly I'd like it to just be simpler. All the taxation fuckery is just too complicated. It needs to be more of the "This is the Trade Federation, and they are evil" variety.

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as much as anakin isn't luke skywalker in this film, i have always wondered if the film could play more like ANH with it leading from him on tatooine, with the characters meeting him there. then they go to coruscant, then all ends in naboo. earlier cut naboo footage may be recycled perhaps.

to be honest though, approaching it as a 'stand a lone' swashbucklng film that aludes to a greater mythology, would be down a similar vein to ANH and other films like the first POTC. i like to imagine what TPM would be like if it was just titled "Star Wars" and we pretend it was made first.

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I did have a suggestion in the other prequel thread, with regards a new power source having been found on Naboo. I agree that the current plot really does not make much sense as for a organisation as rich and powerful as the Trade Federation to seize a backwater planet. SO I'd suggest a new power source discovery as a solution... One that would allow much bigger capital ships stations and powerful weapons to be built. Which would explain both Sidious and the Trade Federations interest. You could just include that information in the opening crawl...

i.e...

Following the discovery and harnessing of a new and very powerful fuel cell on Naboo, various factions are vying for control of the previously unimportant Republic planet. The evil and nefarious Trade Federation have been the first to arrive at Naboo and have established a Blockade around the planet stopping anyone from entering or leaving Naboo.

Meanwhile the Trade Federation had simultaneously managed to mire the Republic Senate on Coruscant in bureaucracy, because of this the Republic is unable to send any representatives or military presence to assist the beleaguered planet.

Concerned with the unfolding events, the Supreme Chancellor has contacted the Jedi Order, who in turn have dispatched to Jedi Knights to investigate and negotiate an end to the Blockade...

Just my 2 cents :)

"Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation." - Rabindranath Tagore

"Many a doctrine is like a window pane. We see truth through it but it divides us from truth." - Kahlil Gibran

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 (Edited)

Yes! Exactly! I think TPM already works the best as a standalone film, and could easily be the New Hope of the trilogy.

I wouldn't want to start on Tatooine as Tatooine is the slowest part of the movie. At least starting on Naboo, we get some good sword fighting right off the bat. I will be getting to Anakin faster though. Actually, I'll be getting to everything faster. One of the big points of this is a complete pacing overhaul.

I'm kind of in love with this blu-ray transfer. It looks fantastic.

EDIT: I like the fuel source idea, but I was thinking of adjusting the concept of Naboo being a backwater planet. That's a pretty elegant backwater planet. I was thinking of finding something that would make it appear more important.

For instance, in Duel of the Fates, Naboo is right in the middle of five different trade routes. Since the Senate has exorbitantly raised the trade taxes, the Trade Federation has cut off Naboo, pretty much halting all trade in the galaxy.

It's still the taxation thing, which I'm not crazy about, but at least Naboo becomes important.

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ugh. i was looking at some screencaps, and anything in that main street in theed seems to float! check out the scene where palaptine lands at the end and the royal guard feet.

its interesting to see which holds up under hi-def scrutiny. real sets with real puppets, or layers of pixels.

how long do you reckon this will be? do you think you could have dooku introduced as either a jedi or the secret hooded menace? or maybe have maul on the bridge giving orders?

will you be removing the prophecy and the rule of the two?

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SpenceEdit said:

That's a pretty elegant backwater planet. I was thinking of finding something that would make it appear more important.

if it was more central geographically, maybe the separatists/trade federation/space corsairs whatever might have forced them to take the long way round to coruscant?

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SpenceEdit said:

 Yes on all accounts. Still figuring out exactly how to do all that, but yes. I definitely would like new voice dubs, and a bigger threat. I don't know what that threat is going to be, but it will not be a "tax dispute."

Mainly I'd like it to just be simpler. All the taxation fuckery is just too complicated. It needs to be more of the "This is the Trade Federation, and they are evil" variety.

Good to hear! In that case, I have a few more suggestions, take 'em or leave 'em.

If I were to change the Trade Federation, I would change them into an explicitly expansionist military Federation - a coalition of warlords from badly charted territories outside the control of the Galactic Republic.

Until the events of The Phantom Menace they have been conquering non-Republic worlds one after the other, before being pressed by a mysterious informant to assault the defenceless, pacifistic planet of Naboo Alderaan.

The mysterious figure - as will be explained through altered dialogue - has promised them a place of prominence in the "New Order" he is insidiously creating, all they have to do is press into Republic territory and sow as much chaos as possible (something the warlike Federation is inclined to do anyway).

This can be explained via altered dialogue and a new opening crawl.

Thoughts, anyone?

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I can tell you that blu-ray transfer looks much much better in motion. It's not perfect, I guess, I didn't see much wrong with it but apparently there is. It looks clean, bright, lots of detail and great colors. I'm pleased.

Maul on the bridge of what?

I don't think I'll introduce Dooku in TPM, I don't see much reason for doing it and it would be a technical nightmare. I'm trying to avoid technical nightmares.

Length wise, I'm aiming for about 1hr.45 to 1hr.55.

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How about the idea of making the Niemodians slave traders? I always like the idea that the galactic dispute is over slavery, hence the Niemodians' obvious evil motives.

Also, I think the beginning of the movie needs to happen much faster. It's too slow as is. What about starting the movie right off with the invasion of Naboo?

 

You know of the rebellion against the Empire?

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I do quite like the opening if I can get the pacing better. It puts a face on the Federation and our protagonists, and it has the Jedi ending fools. It can be a good opening if the pacing is picked up.

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Erikstormtrooper said:

Also, I think the beginning of the movie needs to happen much faster. It's too slow as is. What about starting the movie right off with the invasion of Naboo?

In the radical prequel edit thread, I seem to remember seeing a YouTube video in which the whole opening sequence is sped up nicely.

The Republic ship lands in the docking bay, one of the Neimodians orders the controller to fire on it, we cut back to the docking bay to see the ship get blown up, a group of droids approach a shut door, there's a beat and the doors open revealing a room full of smoke, the Jedi leap out of the smoke and attack the droids, we cut back to the control room and the Viceroy is informed that the Jedi escaped the blast. The battle then proceeds as normal until the Jedi stowaway.

That way, we cut through all scenes of the Jedi waiting around and drinking tea, then it's straight to the invasion sequence.

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Dude, that is a brilliant idea. I may have to steal that. Do you know who I need to talk to for permission to use?

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was thinking of maul on the bridge of the trade federation battleship. but if you are avoiding anything too crazy technical it may be a bit inappropriate.

slave trading would be cool, especially if tatooine is run down as a result, so can show what naboo could become like. maybe even a plotline about the trade federation stripping the planets resources could explain it being a desert? would increase the threat level.

could the trade federation have a new name? something obvious like the space slavers? ANH was pretty black and white with the good and badguys. trade federation sounds a bit ambiguous. i mean trade is sort of positive, and federations are quite healthy.

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I was just going to call them The Seperatists from movie 1.

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TheoOdo said:

Erikstormtrooper said:

Also, I think the beginning of the movie needs to happen much faster. It's too slow as is. What about starting the movie right off with the invasion of Naboo?

In the radical prequel edit thread, I seem to remember seeing a YouTube video in which the whole opening sequence is sped up nicely.

The Republic ship lands in the docking bay, one of the Neimodians orders the controller to fire on it, we cut back to the docking bay to see the ship get blown up, a group of droids approach a shut door, there's a beat and the doors open revealing a room full of smoke, the Jedi leap out of the smoke and attack the droids, we cut back to the control room and the Viceroy is informed that the Jedi escaped the blast. The battle then proceeds as normal until the Jedi stowaway.

That way, we cut through all scenes of the Jedi waiting around and drinking tea, then it's straight to the invasion sequence.

I was about to suggest the exact same thing only even more extreme. I thought it would be cool if you never see the Jedi in the sequence. All this crap is going down, and you know it's the two Jedi, but you never see them until they release the droidikas. (spelling?) They then lose the Jedi and have to face the shadowy mystery figure who is pulling the strings. We do NOT see the Jedi until they jump down from the overpass, and we are then introduced to our two heroes. To me a much greater intro in a very Indiana Jones reveal sorta way. I really think it could be done, and it forces the scene to move forward.

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Sorry I kinda made it sound like you see them on the federation ship... No Jedi seen until they jump off the overpass....

My other thought was a stronger reason for the federation... Here's the kicker... We don't know why they are invading until the end when the republic has come to arrest the neimodians, and then they discover what they were after all along. Clones. You could have a shot at the end where Palpatine walks into the clone chamber where they have perfected the technology.

Then in Ep. 2 you could stae via crawl that the republic relocated the clone tech to a more fortified world that could protect it from those who would exploit, while all the while it's in the hands of the enemy.

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That would be really hard to pull off. I do like introducing them through the fog though. That has a bit of the same effect.

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haha. Now I want to cut it to see if it works for myself.  =)

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I can't wait to get home from work to play with some of these ideas.

Thanks guys! I love my brothers and sisters at fe.org, but Star Wars threads over here always get more "outide of the box." Love it.

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ahh clones on naboo. nice.

someone suggested ages ago that the neimodians wouldn't be "oh my god JEDI!" but more like "what the hell is a jedi?". knocking them out of the limelight, could make the galaxy seem larger, but also support han's later ignorance to the force.

introducing them over the bridge would be a good call. i'd like to see it hypothetically at least. i wonder if we would lose some valuable character building though perhaps? don't forget, if this is the first stand-alone-film, we cannot have any prior suggestion from the OT.

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I think we lose a little that way. As far as storytelling goes, we gotta get their faces up there pretty quick. I know we don't meet Luke/Han/Ben for a while in ANH, but at least we get Leia-3PO-R2. If the movie goes on too long without a protagonist, people are going to lose interest.

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SpenceEdit said:

I think we lose a little that way. As far as storytelling goes, we gotta get their faces up there pretty quick. I know we don't meet Luke/Han/Ben for a while in ANH, but at least we get Leia-3PO-R2. If the movie goes on too long without a protagonist, people are going to lose interest.

You may be right... I'm still curious....

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SpenceEdit said:

Thanks guys! I love my brothers and sisters at fe.org, but Star Wars threads over here always get more "outide of the box." Love it.

Off-topic, but I'm glad the ot.com/fe.org rift from many years ago is (AFAIK) a thing of the past.  There's no doubt my edit would only be half as good if I only got suggestions at one of the two places.