The Drunk Thread (was: The Durnk Thread) — Page 4

I have an unrequited crush on myself.

I want to move on, but the woman remains on the brain 24/7.

Dammit – if only I was a successful filmmaker. Everything would be better then. She’d have to acknowledge my existence then in spite of herself – you can’t ignore Kubrick regardless of how cold his style leaves you – and I’d be certainly happier as a result.

Dude.

And I say that with love.

Sorry. I was durnk at the time.

Of course, I’m durnk again today. I promise to be less obsessive today, though. Besides, this is the last day I get to be durnk until next month; I may as well express my last bout of durnkeness before the dry spell in a more happy-go-lucky fashion.

My cat loves me more than any body else I think. She’s so cute. She was raised by dogs so she follows you around like a dog, even outside. And when you first come home she comes to see you like a dog would. It’s fucking adorable.

Alcohol doesn’t even help anymore. Only it’s absence hurts. I’ve actually gotten sick of it. I’ve honestly drank so much of all different kinds of alcohol that I hate all of it. I only drink hard alcohol anymore so that I can relax and be done with it quickly.

F you in your a’s, J all over your b’s, don’t wear a c.

Mxyzptlk.

D____ IS TO US WHAT BEATRICE WAS TO DANTE. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SHE LOVES US AS LONG AS SHE INSPIRES US.

OUR ONLY MAJOR REGRET IS OUR INABILITY TO MAKE THE MOVIES WE WANT TO MAKE TO SHOW JUST HOW MUCH SHE INSPIRES US.

YES WE WOULD. WE'RE A SENTIMENTAL VIRUS.

Between late 2008 and February of this year, I had more-or-less managed to do that. Then the Internet had to go ahead and fill me with false hope.

No wonder I’m a moderate neo-Luddite.

moviefreakedmind said:

How could the internet fill you with false hope?

It promised the possibility of reconnection VIA Facebook.

Not to mention, 2008 was several years ago.

Exactly. It was in the summer of '08 that I actively decided to try putting her behind me and moving on. Dozens of life’s subsequent little disappointments combined with strong nostalgia for the past ended up making that too hard for me in the end.

No, no reconnection. I didn’t get the chance to even send a message to her before she blocked me. I suppose I shouldn’t hold it against her, though; I was deeply obsessed with her back in high school, and combine that with the religious phase I going through at the time, I said and did too many stupid, ill-thought-out things which wouldn’t leave anyone with warm memories of me.

I just wish I could let her know that I’ve grown some self-awareness over the last twelve years and that I realize now how inappropriate my behaviour towards her was back then. I want her to see me as a human being – an incredibly flawed human being, yes, but still a human being – and not as some sort of deranged boogeyman lurking in the shadows. I want to bury the hatchet between us and gain some real closure.