THE VFP Show: Episode #5GA2 (Network note: tonight's episode will resume after the live broadcast of the NBA Finals game three)

ANNOUNCER: From downtown Victoria, Texas...

...and to the good folks at OT.com, IT'S! THE VFP Show!

Tonight: one of the biggest stars of both OT.com and YouTube - GAFFER TAPE!

http://www.youtube.com/user/MistareFusion

And tonight's special musical guest...in their first public appearance in fifteen years...

We can't give that up just yet, but stick around!

Plus: say hello to THE VFP Show's house band, Joseph McCarthy and The Accusers!

Ladies and Gentlemen - get off your seat and on your feet: IT'S THE VFP Show!

AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, vote_for_palpatine!!

...aaand, that's everything! There's the whole show! Thanks for coming!

How is everyone? Wow, what a crowd, huh Joe?

What's so funny?

I don't know. How many Communists does it take to change a lightbulb?

That doesn't make...the show JUST started and you're...jeez.

Oh yeah, this show's got a future.

Hmm.  Is it too late to call my agent...?

Guess I'll just wait here in the greenroom...

Anyway folks, glad you could all make it. What's going on in the world these days? I saw that Al and Tipper Gore are on the outs. Yeah, sadly, the Gores are separating after forty years of marriage. In a joint press release, the couple said they would have separated ten years ago, but it took Al most of that decade to remove his tongue from Tipper's intestines.

Apparently, in Washington DC, there's a proposal afoot to tax medical marijuana - seriously. One estimate of the financial windfall is $400,000 in the next five years. Another estimate provided was around $650,000, but that's because that economist knows a guy who knows a guy who says the stuff is top shelf.

By the way, the Libertarian Party's official reaction to this news was less than positive:

Okay......Sorry I'm late.

...I hope I didn't miss Gaffer's musical number.

And finally -

Huh. Guess you're all anxious to hear from Gaffer.

Anyway, finally - the NBA Finals starts this week; it's the defending champion Los Angeles Lakers versus the previous season's champion, the Boston Celtics. This is the twelfth time these two franchises have met in the NBA Finals, but only the second time without wearing...these:

So...yeah. Go, modern basketball!

Hey, we've got a great show for you - Gaffer Tape is here! One of my favorite bands from the mid-90's is making their reunion performance right here tonight (sometime before the end of this segment I'll let you know just who)...and of course, say hello to my least-favorite band, Joe McCarthy and The Accusers! Fellas, play me to the desk!

Do basketball players not wear those kinds of uniforms anymore?  I don't know much about basketball...  Maybe I should wait to bring this up in the interview...

Ohhh, they wear really overly long shorts now?  Hmm.  I guess I've just been encased in a block of carbonite over the past decade and a half or so.  I could have sworn shorty shorts were the "in" thing for basketball players.

Thanks guys! Joe!

You know, I'm like so many of you: things weigh on my mind and distract me a little bit throughout my day. I carry these things around all the time. But with a great guest like Gaffer Tape coming up, I think I'd better get this off my chest now. And like so many of you, I'm bothered by - you guessed it - bug spray.

What's that, Joe?

Product placement! Not really! They'll probably be paying us not to show the stuff! Ha ha ha!

But yeah, bug spray. I'm at a friend's place and she spots some kind of bug flying around. "Wait here, I've gotta get the bug spray", she says. And she starts rummaging. And she's not the most organized person I've ever known, so I can hear her getting angry. "Do you have a flyswatter?" I ask. And of course she doesn't have one, so I go to where she is.

"It's not here! I spent six bucks on this bug spray I can't even find," she says. What she didn't say is that she's looking for it among a swarm of aerosol cans and spritzer bottles, including air freshner, hair spray, furniture polish, and Windex. Is it even necessary to find the bug spray at this point? It's one bug - any one of these substances will kill the goddamn bug! I mean, I could see if we're on the back porch of a two-acre ranch house, where there's swarms of blood-sucking things all over the place. Sure then, by all means, make with the yard guard. But we're on the second floor of a walk-up - hit it with Pledge! Not only is the thing dead, it's got a beautiful finish.

Bug spray. Almost anything sprayable has ingredients like ammonia, alcohol, acids, all kinds of stuff deadly to insects. If it's in an aerosol can, it's a bug spray.

Bug Spray?.....Geez, what's he gonna talk about next? Finding the serial number on a condom?!

No, there's no such thing as a commie spray!

I need a new bandleader.

Anyway, stick around - Gaffer Tape is coming up next!! And later - it's the reunion performance by the inimitable RUNAWAY FIVE! Stay where you are, and we'll be back after this message from tvbracket, the UK's number one brand for tvbrackets!

Runaway Five?  Don't you mean the Tonzura Bros.?  But either way, an awesome lineup!  Why aren't they in the greenroom with me?!

                                                                                               ^C3PX

Well, bug spray, like the kind you posted a picture of is actually meant for repelling bugs, you see. So it serve a greater purpose than just killing the thing, and actually won't even phase a bug if sprayed on it directly... I mean, you couldn't just spray yourself with Streak Free Windex and have it work the same as Cutter Advanced Sport-- What? Oh, gee, you're filming... I'm sorry. I'll just sit down and enjoy the show now. 

TV's Frink said:

Aw geez, a fictional video game band?  Can't we at least get The Advantage?

I'm getting the impression you're the ever-present heckler, aren't you?

TV's Frink said:

Davnes007 said:

Bug Spray?.....Geez, what's he gonna talk about next? Finding the serial number on a condom?!

They have serial numbers?  Be right back...

...

...

...they have expiration dates too?

                                                                                             ^C3PX

They have expiration dates???!!! Holy shit! I think I am in a lot of trouble!

Bingowings said:

Hola soy la Wilfredo Arandela Estrella de cine de adulto de Rican Puertorriqueña famosa.

Cuando estoy cansado de vibrar en el segundo ciclo de vuelta balanceo la pared en el Soporte de TV.

El Soporte de TV es versátil y no sólo para televisiones.

BANG!