Simple Storytelling — Page 4

Author: Gaffer Tape
Time: 18-Jul-2006 1:40 PM
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So, Billy, who we'll just say from now on made his own logical and well-thought out choice, went to the kitchen for a cookie. But suddenly, his new power alerted him to something about the cookie jar.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

Author: Darth Chaltab
Time: 18-Jul-2006 2:10 PM
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He realized that his wicked stepfather had poisoned the jar, and then began to wonder how that qualified as trivial, when suddenly he realized that it was because his very life was trivial.

Author: Yoda Is Your Father
Time: 18-Jul-2006 5:45 PM
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The realization that his very life was a trivial matter caused Billy to break through to a higher level of conciousness (commonly referred to as enlightenment) in which he could see the whole of existence and reality for what it really is. Having reached this higher state, Billy immedietly left home and toured the world teaching what he had learnt. Billy's world tour was dubbed 'Buddha: The Return'

War does not make one great.

Author: Gaffer Tape
Time: 18-Jul-2006 7:58 PM
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About halfway through his tour, though, in about Spain, maybe, a paradox finally caught up to him, as his enlightenment and subsequent enlightening of others had risen his life above that of being trivial.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

Author: Yoda Is Your Father
Time: 18-Jul-2006 8:05 PM
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But by that time Billy was so enlightened that he had risen totally beyond the notion of self, and was not concerned with whether or not his life was trivial. What he was or what he did no longer mattered. He simply was.

He did like it in Spain though.

War does not make one great.

Author: PSYCHO_DAYV
Time: 18-Jul-2006 8:39 PM
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BILLY DECIDED TO LIVE OUT HIS DAYS IN SPAIN.

"I'VE GROWN TIRED OF ASKING, SO THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME..."
The Mangler Bros. Psycho Dayv Armchaireviews Notes on Suicide

Author: Yoda Is Your Father
Time: 18-Jul-2006 9:12 PM
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The End.

What a lovely story.

I'll start the next one:

Once upon a time there was a monkey called Mojo who was an ace guitarist.

War does not make one great.

Author: ricardo
Time: 18-Jul-2006 9:25 PM
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he always carried an ace-of-spades in his pocket. his father gave it to him when he was a child, relaying the following story...

Author: Darth Chaltab
Time: 18-Jul-2006 9:36 PM
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"Once upon a time, a beautiful princess got married, had kids, and died, causing her kids to be great rulers. The end."

Author: ricardo
Time: 18-Jul-2006 9:53 PM
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now, mojo always thought what the story had to do with his ace of spades, but he just shrugged it off. always hoping he will find the meaning before he dies.

Author: Gaffer Tape
Time: 18-Jul-2006 10:15 PM
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One day, Jojo was turning a street corner eating a bar of chocolate when he bumped into a woman named Loretta who was eating peanut butter. "You got chocolate in my peanu... wait, is that an ace of spades?! I know what that means!" she said.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

Author: ricardo
Time: 18-Jul-2006 10:37 PM
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mojo almost drops his chocolate bar in surprise and excitedly asks her, "what?! what does it mean?!!"

Author: Gaffer Tape
Time: 18-Jul-2006 10:45 PM
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"I'll tell you right now," Loretta said. Out of sheer joy, Jojo started playing his guitar, which suddenly caused Loretta to sneeze herself into a coma.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

Author: Yoda Is Your Father
Time: 19-Jul-2006 12:47 AM
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A talent scout, you just happened to be passing by at that exact moment, heard Mojo's playing and signed him on the spot. Loretta, with the true meaning of the ace of spades locked in her comatose brain, was taken to hospital.

War does not make one great.

Author: Gaffer Tape
Time: 19-Jul-2006 1:26 AM
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However, even as the record deal was being signed, the ace of spades, which had been covered in this abnormal chocolate and peanut butter combination, began to react to the strange food, glowing, as if some secret power within it had just been activated.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

Author: Darth Chaltab
Time: 19-Jul-2006 1:42 AM
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Unfortunately, it turned out that the ace of spades card was actually a cursed card in which the demon Reallife had been sealed (until the offspring of the peanut and the cacao bean combined on the card) 23,408,530,002.68475 years ago; Reallife offered Mojo a deal--his soul in exchange for the ability to play his instrument better than anyone else in history.

Author: Yoda Is Your Father
Time: 19-Jul-2006 11:17 AM
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But Mojo was already a damn fine guitarist so he turned down Reallife's offer and instead asked for...

War does not make one great.

Author: ricardo
Time: 19-Jul-2006 12:25 PM
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a chance to be human. he was so tired of getting ticks in his fur. in his mind, the fact that he was a damned fine guitar player would transcend species.

Author: Yoda Is Your Father
Time: 19-Jul-2006 12:30 PM
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So, in exchange for his soul, Mojo was transformed into a human. A particularly ugly, simian-like human, but a human all the same.

War does not make one great.

Author: ricardo
Time: 19-Jul-2006 1:04 PM
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mojo was fine with this. he figured if steven tyler and mick jagger can get famous, then so can he.

Author: Gaffer Tape
Time: 19-Jul-2006 2:24 PM
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But even Reallife was unaware of the secret the card contained. He had been listening all this time, so he inhabited Jojo's soul and made a trek down to the hospital where Loretta was being held.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

Author: ricarleite
Time: 19-Jul-2006 2:34 PM
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Bur before he went to the hospital he dressed up a T-shirt with the letter M, so everyone would know his name was Mojo with an M, and not Jojo.

“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering

Author: Gaffer Tape
Time: 19-Jul-2006 2:59 PM
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Everyone agreed that this was a great idea and apologized for their lifelong mistakes...

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

Author: Yoda Is Your Father
Time: 19-Jul-2006 3:33 PM
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So, there was the now-human Mojo, whose soul was inhabited by an evil demon called Reallife, on his way to the hospital wearing his 'M' T-shirt to go and see Loretta, the comatose woman who held the secret to the Ace of Spades given to Mojo by his father.

War does not make one great.

Author: Darth Chaltab
Time: 19-Jul-2006 4:01 PM
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While the doctors and nurses weren't looking, Mojo attempted to wake Loretta by pouring a concoction known as wake-up juice (which he had gotten from some tavern out in California) into her mouth through a metal funnel.