Need some advice for my TFA rewrite

New to the forum! Longtime lurker, tho. I enjoy reading the very interesting rewrites on here. Glad to finally be apart of it now.

I’m currently working on a treatment outline for my own personal version of The Force Awakens, and was wondering if I could get some advice regarding a few ideas I’m a bit torn on at the moment:

1. I’ve heard several people complain that the First Order is nothing more than an Empire rehash, and is therefore nowhere near as interesting as they could’ve been. Reading about the “unknown regions” introduced in the Aftermath novel, and how Palpatine believed his power may have come from some entity hidden there, has given me the idea to perhaps rewrite the First Order as an ancient organization that has lurked within the shadows of the unknown regions for thousands of years, but rumors of their existence and even a few possible visual depictions have trickled out to the known galaxy every now and then. Palpatine, fascinated by their vague mythology, took inspiration from them when shaping his Empire, and even modeled Vader’s suit after their apparent standard soldier armor. So basically, instead of an army of slightly different-looking Stormtroopers, it’d be an army of Knights of Ren who all use primitive blasters and ships. As a matter of fact, I was thinking of making their tech look so primitive to the point where it could be made of stone, and maybe even have one of their officials say something like “our leader moved mountains to create these vessels.”

2. Speaking of their leader, I was also thinking of maybe rewriting Snoke (perhaps with a different name) as some kind of personification of the dark side itself, since Palpatine believed his power came from the unknown regions. Maybe even use that concept from the TFA pre-production of him living off of harnessed star energy. I feel like something along these lines could help my take on VII feel as though it is “building upon” the previous films and taking on a whole new level of importance, if that makes sense.

3. Because I’m thinking of basically changing the threat of the ST to an army of Vader-ites, I feel a bit uncomfortable making Finn one of their soldiers, so I was also considering perhaps rewriting him to be a soldier of the New Republic instead. One who dreams of someday breaking out of his “shell” to achieve some greater accomplishment then that of just a foot soldier. Maybe have him and a small squad of others accompany Poe an his mission to retrieve the map, then the two get captured together, and help eachother break out. Throughout their journey together, Poe realizes, essentially, that masked soldiers are people too, and Finn develops the self confidence he was searching for by getting this positive reinforcement from Poe. Don’t get me wrong, I like what they did with Finn in the movie, but I’ve already heard multiple complaints of his turn to the light feeling too “sudden.” Because TFA has to already have so many moving parts in the plot between the old and new characters, I’m not sure there’s room to better flesh Finn out by having him start with the baddies and then turn good. So might as well have him be good from the get-go, I guess?

^that’s pretty much all I’m concerned with at the moment. I have other adjustments in mind, but I feel far more confident in those that I don’t think it’s worth bringing them up now for advice.

any feedback at all on the above ideas would be appreciated! thank you in advance 😃

darklordoftech said:

I like your idea of Snoke being the dark side itself and the First Order being an ancient organization that inspired the Empire. That explains why Snoke would lead a regime with so much resemblence to Palpatine’s, establishes Snoke as a bigger bad than Palpatine, and fits with the TFA novelization’s references to Rey hearing Snoke’s voice (if Snoke is the dark side itself, temptation by the dark side = hearing Snoke’s voice). Maybe the yellow eyes normally seen on the Sith indicate some sort of possesion by Snoke and Kylo doesn’t have those eyes because Snoke didn’t bother using his possesive powers on Kylo, instead preferring a willing servent? Maybe VIII or IX could reveal that the First Order absorbed what was left of the Empire rather than being formed from what was left of the Empire.

Thank you very much for the feedback! I’ve actually abandoned all of these ideas in the last several months as I’ve continued to develop the outline for my rewrite, but upon reading your reflection on the First Order/ Snoke thing, I’m thinking of maybe bringing that one particular idea back and try to integrate it with my current ideas in some shape or form.