IMO the bind you’re in is exacerbated by proximity. If you were living (just coincidentally) on the exact opposite side of the frikkin planet, it’d be a lot easier to keep your life going one way and your family’s understanding of your life going another. Lots of people just assume things are going great unless they hear otherwise, so unless you say otherwise, their queries about your level of religious devotion will likely diminish, although it’s wishful thinking for them to go away entirely.

I happen to live pretty much on the opposite side of a major continent from my entire family. And I get along with my family just fine, and never actually had any particular need for the distance, it just happened. And it’s not bad. You? Maybe some distance would work for you even better.

Go west! Life is peaceful there
Go west! Lots of open air
Go west! To begin life new
Go west! This is what we’ll do