NeverarGreat said:
On the subject of the crawl, here’s another attempt, taking into consideration the previous suggestions:

The galaxy is in peril.

With this first line you don’t acknowledge anything about Episode VI, which ends with the galaxy saved from the Empire and the Sith.
I think your crawl is far too complex and contains too much information (a first time viewer wouldn’t understand half of it, especially in a movie which is a sequel to an episode where everything seemed to be resolved).