I agree with you, the TIEs should come from the stardestroyer in the background and also be far away so that it makes sense for the patrons not to run away. I would actually make them even smaller in that first shot of Finn looking to the sky. I would even go as far and make them really tiny white spots coming from the Stardestroyer and then about as big as they are in Telecines version for the second shot when Han and the patrons look up. But there also need to be some transports and in Telecines version they seem too ordered, which kinda makes them fake-looking I guess. I don’t really know how to fix that but I think some more variety in their movement/position could help.