Heh, it’s not really as much an “audition” scenario so much as a “short straw” scenario. Let me fill in some blanks, to see if you still want to volunteer.

I’ve got some scripts typed up, and basically all you need to do is read them into a microphone and send me some audio files. “Radio experience” is more of a catch-all term for a bunch of unrelated things: you may have access to, or know someone with, better recording equipment than your standard webcam microphone, you understand intuitively which rooms are best for making voice recordings (hint: don’t try this in your kitchen). You may have some experience adjusting recording levels to avoid clipping or overly quiet recordings. You know how far away your head should be from the microphone (for sibilants, etc). You can read in a very clearly enunciated, level, and unexcited manner for a long time without being monotone and dull. And you can read three two-hour long scripts, probably with multiple takes for some lines, without going hoarse or insane. It’s the whole trilogy or nothing. Now, you don’t actually need to have all of this experience right now, but you need to be willing to get some experience with it, make some mistakes and do-overs, etc.

Then comes the phase where I try to splice these bits into the actual soundtracks, and you might think you’re done, but I might need something re-recorded, maybe at a faster pace to fit into a small timeframe, that sort of thing.

Then and only then comes the phase where you become a huge Internet celebrity and regularly have scones with the Kardashians.

If that all sounds good (Kardashians notwithstanding), let me know. I’ve got some scripts for you.