Tyrphanax said:
Over her? No, not quite. I'm getting there; this helped.
I wouldn't have dealt with her for as long as I had if she hadn't been one of the few to get under my skin, and she really did. Drug me around for two years with all the promises and affection and suddenly there was some other guy.
Partially my fault. I was too cocky and had too much faith that she was in my bullpen, and so I just always assumed it was official (and by the way we were, nobody would think otherwise) when I guess for her it was not.
Ah well. That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Time heals all wounds. (I know, it's cliché but it's true for most of us)
Myself, I find different approaches to healing, and they all seem to work. (or so I hope!!!)
One is really letting hate take control of you (though this usually results in lack of sleep). But at least I feel relieved in the morning.
Another one is eating and smoking, and basically whatever else keeps my mind busy.
But I find I've changed some, since all those things happened to me. I find it difficult to cry, I feel like I've hardened. Sometimes I feel like I should be crying, and I want to cry, but I just can't.
I really do think and behave differently. I recently came to the realization that I'm in a phase of my life which I call "Fuck it". Anything bad happens, I just think "fuck it". I don't think it's surrender, I think it's just a way of moving on for now, and dealing with something later, like for example my guitar and my two computers are FUBAB. I am sure I am going to deal with them in a later moment, like I am doing currently with uni, to which I had said "fuck it" some months ago.
