Leonardo said:
walkingdork said:
You don't look like the Charlie Browniest. Still chasing?
No. I've been hurt real bad by someone I now refer to as scum.
I now regret meeting her in the first place, let alone getting involved sentimentally. I've suffered for almost a year. I was in love (unrequited, of course) with someone who didn't respect me from day one. She does not have respect for herself either. I knew about a heavy alcohol problem, the careless fucking and the just plain disrespect for anybody, but when I heard her talking about messing with the devil's dandruff, and being proud of it, I got the fuck away from her. No, I don't wanna be your friend, you piece of shit. I don't like the things you do, I don't like the things you say and I don't like the things you think. First you tease me endlessly, say you're attracted to me, you steal my first kiss, you say we could have something going on. One fatal night you wanna do me but I refuse, you're drunk and you still have a boyfriend, a really mean one. I halfheartedly agree to third base, but don't enjoy it. And once you leave that maniac boyfriend of yours your hole belongs to everybody but me!
Sorry, I got carried away. I haven't seen her since... April, May, I don't even remember anymore, and still, there are nights when the rage builds up so much inside me I cannot sleep.
And so it happened that I completely neglected uni, took up chain smoking and experienced a general nervous breakdown. I've almost constantly been in a bad mood in the last months, only work, music and things like this forum have kept me going.
I've now grown incredibly wary of people. I'm not interested in anything, or anyone, and I wasn't really interested in sex before, now it just plain disgusts me.
My friends, two people I love, respect and trust, the only people I have left, will probably try and arrange something for me, they talked to me about the opportunity. But I refused then and I will refuse when the time comes. I'm just not interested in being hurt anymore.
Sucks, man. As a former "chaser" I will say that it is a shitty gig that rarely ends well. Don't give up on love or sex. After a strange breakup with my last girlfriend (who I dated for 3 years) I decided to take a year off from women (relationships at least). I fooled around with a chick a couple times but never pursued anything. A year later I feel a lot better about myself and have a lot more friends now that I my social life isn't impeded by a relationship. I'm open for business, now it's just a matter of finding a woman in my home town that isn't a ham. :P
And what do you mean about second base? did she go down on you and you didn't enjoy it???