I agree with loads of your ideas but make a rough cut for yourself, and see how it works we only have the original footage available to us and perhaps playing with other elements or other existing footage soureces to fill it out. What might look good on paper might not work as well as onscreen and you will also see by music, and sound what can and cannot be done or what will and won't work

Thats my Advice, let that help dictate your vision of the script.. I have spent the Last week tearing this movie apart in my Brain, trying to make it the best it perhaps can be... And you have helped me see many things about it I never thought of.

It will all get worked out I'm sure.