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Post #1197608

Author
jarbear
Parent topic
A Collaborative Star Wars Saga Edit
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1197608/action/topic#1197608
Date created
18-Apr-2018, 1:13 PM

Yep that is an improvement. I think what sticks out is the moTHER part of it. The reason is the word goes up, which makes a “jump” to the next word/ original face of “once thought…” So if there is a way it sounds more like “YOUR MOther once that…” I think that may help it. So maybe a source that goes down on sounds/quotes with “ther” or “er” maybe is what’s needed?

I hope that make sense?