I wasn’t happy with how much information I needed to force into the first four lines. Now they function as a re-introduction to the galaxy and the fortress takes up the body of the second paragraph like in the original Star Wars crawl.

THE FORCE AWAKENS

It is a time of uneasy peace.
With the long civil war now
only a memory, a new
Republic rules the galaxy.

Yet the old Empire survives.
Created in secret by the
Emperor’s first command,
a zealous order has built a
fortress that can devour
entire stars. Led by a ruthless
warlord, they have driven
the last of the Jedi Knights
into hiding.

Without the wisdom of
the Jedi, the Republic is
blind to this deadly peril.
Only one leader mobilizes
a brave RESISTANCE,
and sends their finest pilot
on a mission to find
the long-lost Jedi…

The number of name drops is now down to four, and I’m very happy with that. The crawl is getting to the place where it could serve as an introduction to newcomers to the story. Leaving the identity of this Resistance leader secret makes more sense of the following scene:
“The General? To me she’s royalty.”