Looking at the star draining shot again, it appears that Starkiller is actually behind the star based on how much of it is in the light. This would mean that it would have to be extremely small indeed, compared to the star.
I think it would be possible to move the planet, but even if that’s not feasible, it should be a simple matter to shrink the planet so that it would be a believable distance from the star.
Both versions would work in my opinion. Great mockups!
To make the Falcon exiting Hyperspace I blended two shots where the Falcon was in a similar position in each, so the best bet would probably be to find a shot of something else going through hyperspace at a similar angle and replace the ship with the beam. If the camera movement was similar enough in both shots, it might work.
I sensed that finding suitable hyperspace footage of other stuff would be the key here. Could it be alleviated by slightly tilting the plasma beam shot in either direction?