[suspiciouscoffee said:
In other news, I’ve suddenly fallen pretty hard for a guy. He’s probably straight, but even if he isn’t, any relationship I pursue with him would result in my execution and subsequent trip to hell. I continue to daydream nonetheless, and hope God has mercy on my soul whenever I do die.

I wish you the best of luck because you never know, it might come to pass that he isn’t straight. It’s bloody awful falling for someone you suspect doesn’t feel the same way. Part of you wants to be optimistic and not be too hard on yourself but another part of you is just protecting you from humiliation and disappointnent
. My advice for what it’s worth is to be a great friend first and foremost. Never expect anything. And one day you will be astonished by someone who wants what you have to offer.