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Post #1140006

Author
Kexikus
Parent topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1140006/action/topic#1140006
Date created
9-Dec-2017, 10:22 AM

I would suggest holding off V2.1 until TLJ is released just in case anything needs fixing to make it consistent (not sure what that’d be though) or to see if any material can be used from there, e.g. to have Hux tell Snoke of the Republics destruction.

Apart from that, the one thing I’d like to see changed is to have some more urgency about SKB being almost ready to fire when Han confronts Kylo. Currently you have a scene where it’s stated that it’ll be ready in 15 minutes, then another one where 3PO states that there are only 10 minutes left and then it fires. The problem is that it takes far longer to get from “15 minutes left” to “10 minutes left” than it does from the latter to the actual shot. So to me it felt weird, that SKB was suddenly ready after Hans death. That might be fixable by just having 3PO say “5 minutes left” or by adding another cut to the Resistance being worried inbetween. Maybe the “What do we do? It isn’t working.” scene could be used here already while the “There’s a brand new hole in the oscillator.” part would of course stay where it currently is. That’d also fix that the “What do we do?” sounds like something they’d say while they’re still trying to prevent SKB from firing at all instead of having fired already.

And while I’m at it, I think it’d be nice if it could somehow be shown that the Resistance knows that they’re the next target. No idea how that’d be done though.

Apart from that, the only other tiny issue I had with the edit is Kylos hood in the second Snoke scene. But that shouldn’t even be that hard to fix as it’s mostly seen in the shots from behind and we have a shot from pretty much the same perspective without the hood that could be used to replace Kylo.