I finished an alternate version of this which is a lot more heavy on the cutting end of things. So all the cuts/restructuring below is in addition to the existing cuts of v1. If anyone wants it, then I guess I could upload it and respond to any PM’s.
I had three goals with this alternate version. 1) cut out more of the silliness and gibberish, 2) make Vader feel more independent and his turn more believable, 3) restructure the entire third act.
Specific changes below for each goal:
Cutting out the Extra Rubbish:
-cut out all of salicious crumb laughing
-cut out the laughing of Jabba’s creatures when Han and Leia are captured
-cut out scene of Han and Chewie reuniting
-cut down rancor scene to avoid some of the poor special effects and get the story along since the scene doesn’t serve much purpose besides “hey, look at this cool monster fight”.
-cut out Jabba pulling Leia back from sail barge window and talking to her
-cut out C3PO asking why R2 is serving drinks
-cut out 3PO asking them if they want to plea and Han’s cheesy response. Now 3PO just says Jabba hopes they will die honorably and then Luke warns Jabba it is his last chance.
-cut out Boba Fett completely from sail barge fight
-remove Salicious pulling out 3PO’s eyes and R2 zapping him
-remove more shots of ewoks after Han, Luke, Chewie, R2, and 3PO cut themselves out of the booby trap.
-remove more cutesy shots of ewoks during feast
Make Vader more independent and his turn more believable:
-remove Vader saying “I must obey my master”. Now he just says “You don’t know the power of the dark side”. Vader should be confident in what he believes is right like in ESB, rather than doing it just cause of the Emperor. For goodness sakes, he was plotting to take over before this film.
-remove Vader saying “It is too late for me son.” Way too obvious of foreshadowing, cheapens his eventual turn, and makes Vader seem like he already knows that what he believes in is wrong and misguided. This moment of self revelation for our characters is meant to happen at the END of the arc.
-remove the Emperor saying “You must know by now your father can never be turned from the dark side.” This just sounds plain stupid and makes the Emperor think of Vader as some prize that he has fooled. Vader should feel like a respected ally and learner of the Emperor.
-remove Vader saying “It is useless to resist.” What is this, some sort of shiny object called the Dark side being dangled in front of Luke. This makes the dark side feel less complex.
-remove the Emperor saying “You, like your father, are now mine”. Again, my point stands. Why is the Emperor talking about Vader like some fool he tricked and has under his leash right in front of Vader? There should be more respect between such two powerful and ambitious men who have similar goals.
-cut out the Emperor telling Luke that if he picks up his saber that his journey towards the dark side will be complete. This just makes Luke look like an idiot. Instead the Emperor basically just tells Luke his friends and the alliance will die and that there is no hope. This actually now makes more sense as to why Luke would fall into the temptation of attacking the Emperor.
Restructuring the third act:
I always felt it was odd that the Endor/Space battles are basically about to be won by the time we see Luke and Vader have their heroic triumphs in the throne room. Those triumphs should be followed by things looking better in Endor and Space so the new scene order reflects that.