The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 81

moviefreakedmind said:

I’m really glad you posted again, Trident.

Likewise.

None of my friends talk to me anymore unless they need something from me. They’re also never there for me when I need them, and dodge my attempts to simply hang out 9 times out of 10.

It’s been like this for a few months, but I was giving them the benefit of the doubt until the two biggest culprits pulled some bullshit this morning that absolutely infuriated me. Straw that broke the camel’s back and all that.

Going back into hermit mode for a while. I can’t fucking deal with people anymore. I tried convincing myself that I was better off with other people, but I think I was right before - I don’t need anyone but myself because everyone else is a black hole of dysfunction and neediness without an empathetic bone in their body.

(This is not me saying I’m leaving the forum, mind you. This is all about shutting myself away from in-person relationships. I just needed to vent after thinking about this all day.)

But deep down I think you know that isn’t the answer either. (Not being condescending, swearzies).

On my own front, my girlfriends ex is stalking both of us. Has been for six months. Have restraining order. Doesn’t care. Cops won’t do anything. Hacks her Facebook page. Somehow reads her text messages. Other details I won’t put here. It’s scary. It’s gotten so bad in the past week or so I’m almost scared to even post this here or he’ll somehow figure link me to it even though that’s ludicrous. It’s getting to me. I’m at my wits end and so is she. It literally feels like being in a horror movie. He knows everything we do. He reads our fucking text messages. Not Facebook, phone texts.

Possessed said:

But deep down I think you know that isn’t the answer either. (Not being condescending, swearzies).

I know you’re not. But the real answer is probably “get better friends,” but I don’t have the emotional capacity right now to weed through the 98% that are self-absorbed leeches to find someone from the 2% of decent human beings to befriend.

I’m (probably) not cutting out these friends entirely, but when I come back out of my Hobbit hole in a few weeks I’m not going to be even a fraction as accommodating and available as I have been for the past few years. I’m fucking done being the one putting effort in only for them to suck me dry and then leave me to rot until they need me again.

On my own front, my girlfriends ex is stalking both of us. Has been for six months. Have restraining order. Doesn’t care. Cops won’t do anything. Hacks her Facebook page. Somehow reads her text messages. Other details I won’t put here. It’s scary. It’s gotten so bad in the past week or so I’m almost scared to even post this here or he’ll somehow figure link me to it even though that’s ludicrous. It’s getting to me. I’m at my wits end and so is she. It literally feels like being in a horror movie. He knows everything we do. He reads our fucking text messages. Not Facebook, phone texts.

Holy fucking shit. That’s terrifying. There’s gotta be something you can do about this - have you gathered up evidence of the stalking and phone hacking and stuff to hand over to the authorities?

I apologise for being in hermit mode myself. Sorry to read you are feeling low Warb. I hope things pick up for you soon. And it’s great that despite our troubles we are making good use of this space Ender constructed for us and we are breaking down the frequent misconception that these sorts of issues are rare or something to be ashamed of. Ash good friends don’t avoid friends when they are having a hard time. That’s when good friends step up to the plate and fill it with yummy beans on toast. My ticks have just got worse and worse. It’s effecting my work. But I have my first session with a counsellor on Tuesday and I’m taking professional relationship advice on Wednesday. It a really hard time. Saturday night I was constantly on the edge of tears, last night I was on caffeine free caffeine overdose, so hyperaware, jittery, quaking, shaking, racing thoughts. I never been in this state before so it’s all new and scary stuff. My soon to be ex-partner has gone from yelling at me to stop to becoming genuinely concerned for my health. It kind of helps but it it also makes things a bit difficult when it comes to implementing the changes I need to make. I’ve started looking for places to move to. Knowing that Christmas is soon and that once the decorations come down I have to man up and announce my intentions is adding pressure. I wish someone else could do it all for me to be honest but I can’t. Restless legs at night are making sleep difficult too. But help is on its way and I have a new pal at work who is going through something similar. As Leela used to say “if you are wounded, find a man with scars” so keep the thread going because there seems to be a lot of need for it at the moment. And we can all help each other by breaking down stigma.

Bingowings said:

Good friends don’t avoid friends when they are having a hard time.

I cut myself off from everybody last week, due to circumstances that made me realize they’re not all good friends, telling anyone who wants to talk to me, feel free to and I’ll be more than happy, and nobody has. I have to make the effort to talk to anyone, and it’s draining as hell that I don’t get anything back from it. Everyone is all busy with their own things, and I’m once again a bystander.

Handman said:

Bingowings said:

Good friends don’t avoid friends when they are having a hard time.

I cut myself off from everybody last week, due to circumstances that made me realize they’re not all good friends, telling anyone who wants to talk to me, feel free to and I’ll be more than happy, and nobody has. I have to make the effort to talk to anyone, and it’s draining as hell that I don’t get anything back from it. Everyone is all busy with their own things, and I’m once again a bystander.

Yep, that all sounds very similar to my situation, though I haven’t announced my withdrawal from social life to anyone. It’ll be interesting to see if anyone tries to contact me during this time, but past experience tells me no one will unless they want a favor.

Bingowings said:

I apologise for being in hermit mode myself. Sorry to read you are feeling low Warb. I hope things pick up for you soon. And it’s great that despite our troubles we are making good use of this space Ender constructed for us and we are breaking down the frequent misconception that these sorts of issues are rare or something to be ashamed of. Ash good friends don’t avoid friends when they are having a hard time. That’s when good friends step up to the plate and fill it with yummy beans on toast. My ticks have just got worse and worse. It’s effecting my work. But I have my first session with a counsellor on Tuesday and I’m taking professional relationship advice on Wednesday. It a really hard time. Saturday night I was constantly on the edge of tears, last night I was on caffeine free caffeine overdose, so hyperaware, jittery, quaking, shaking, racing thoughts. I never been in this state before so it’s all new and scary stuff. My soon to be ex-partner has gone from yelling at me to stop to becoming genuinely concerned for my health. It kind of helps but it it also makes things a bit difficult when it comes to implementing the changes I need to make. I’ve started looking for places to move to. Knowing that Christmas is soon and that once the decorations come down I have to man up and announce my intentions is adding pressure. I wish someone else could do it all for me to be honest but I can’t. Restless legs at night are making sleep difficult too. But help is on its way and I have a new pal at work who is going through something similar. As Leela used to say “if you are wounded, find a man with scars” so keep the thread going because there seems to be a lot of need for it at the moment. And we can all help each other by breaking down stigma.

Sounds like you’re taking some positive steps. That’s great to hear. It’s scary as hell, of course, but the right way forward often is.

And agreed, big thanks to Ender for creating this space for us. It’s been very helpful to me since I’ve come back, even though it probably doesn’t seem that way.

Most of this is online, group chats and things that I can’t help but check, so I have to leave. Otherwise I’d do what you do. My real life social life is even worse. Though I am optimistic that may change next year.

ChainsawAsh said:

Bingowings said:

I apologise for being in hermit mode myself. Sorry to read you are feeling low Warb. I hope things pick up for you soon. And it’s great that despite our troubles we are making good use of this space Ender constructed for us and we are breaking down the frequent misconception that these sorts of issues are rare or something to be ashamed of. Ash good friends don’t avoid friends when they are having a hard time. That’s when good friends step up to the plate and fill it with yummy beans on toast. My ticks have just got worse and worse. It’s effecting my work. But I have my first session with a counsellor on Tuesday and I’m taking professional relationship advice on Wednesday. It a really hard time. Saturday night I was constantly on the edge of tears, last night I was on caffeine free caffeine overdose, so hyperaware, jittery, quaking, shaking, racing thoughts. I never been in this state before so it’s all new and scary stuff. My soon to be ex-partner has gone from yelling at me to stop to becoming genuinely concerned for my health. It kind of helps but it it also makes things a bit difficult when it comes to implementing the changes I need to make. I’ve started looking for places to move to. Knowing that Christmas is soon and that once the decorations come down I have to man up and announce my intentions is adding pressure. I wish someone else could do it all for me to be honest but I can’t. Restless legs at night are making sleep difficult too. But help is on its way and I have a new pal at work who is going through something similar. As Leela used to say “if you are wounded, find a man with scars” so keep the thread going because there seems to be a lot of need for it at the moment. And we can all help each other by breaking down stigma.

Sounds like you’re taking some positive steps. That’s great to hear. It’s scary as hell, of course, but the right way forward often is.

I wish there was something I could say to help, but all I can say is to hang in there and you’ll pull through. It looks like you’re headed in the right direction.

And agreed, big thanks to Ender for creating this space for us. It’s been very helpful to me since I’ve come back, even though it probably doesn’t seem that way.

Agreed.

I kept screenshots but if the past is any indication they’ll just say some shit about how they “cant prove it was him”. We had a golden opportunity to get rid of him a few months ago because he stalked us at the Wal-Mart I work of at, so obviously it was on camera. But she’s too tenderhearted and he somehow convinced her in a text message that if she dropped it he would leave us alone and being three naive sweet person she is she believed him.

Both her best and worst quality sometimes…

Bingowings said:

I apologise for being in hermit mode myself. Sorry to read you are feeling low Warb.

Thanks but obviously, I am not having anywhere near the kind of problems you are having. You have my sympathies.

I hope things pick up for you soon. And it’s great that despite our troubles we are making good use of this space Ender constructed for us and we are breaking down the frequent misconception that these sorts of issues are rare or something to be ashamed of. Ash good friends don’t avoid friends when they are having a hard time. That’s when good friends step up to the plate and fill it with yummy beans on toast. My ticks have just got worse and worse. It’s effecting my work. But I have my first session with a counsellor on Tuesday and I’m taking professional relationship advice on Wednesday. It a really hard time. Saturday night I was constantly on the edge of tears, last night I was on caffeine free caffeine overdose, so hyperaware, jittery, quaking, shaking, racing thoughts. I never been in this state before so it’s all new and scary stuff. My soon to be ex-partner has gone from yelling at me to stop to becoming genuinely concerned for my health. It kind of helps but it it also makes things a bit difficult when it comes to implementing the changes I need to make. I’ve started looking for places to move to. Knowing that Christmas is soon and that once the decorations come down I have to man up and announce my intentions is adding pressure. I wish someone else could do it all for me to be honest but I can’t. Restless legs at night are making sleep difficult too. But help is on its way and I have a new pal at work who is going through something similar. As Leela used to say “if you are wounded, find a man with scars” so keep the thread going because there seems to be a lot of need for it at the moment. And we can all help each other by breaking down stigma.

I’m sorry you having such difficult problems right now. I think it is good you are seeking professional help. I wish I had some good advice, but this seems way beyond anything I can give good advice about. You’ll be in my prayers.

Possessed said:

But deep down I think you know that isn’t the answer either. (Not being condescending, swearzies).

On my own front, my girlfriends ex is stalking both of us. Has been for six months. Have restraining order. Doesn’t care. Cops won’t do anything. Hacks her Facebook page. Somehow reads her text messages. Other details I won’t put here. It’s scary. It’s gotten so bad in the past week or so I’m almost scared to even post this here or he’ll somehow figure link me to it even though that’s ludicrous. It’s getting to me. I’m at my wits end and so is she. It literally feels like being in a horror movie. He knows everything we do. He reads our fucking text messages. Not Facebook, phone texts.

ouch. That sounds scary. All I can say is to keep reporting everything to cops and hopefully they will finally be able to do something. I wish there was better advice I could give you. I’d be praying for you and your girlfriend’s safety.

This is depressing. 😦

moviefreakedmind said:

I’m not pumped about the Last Jedi.

Neither am I. Even if I were, I won’t see the film until it comes out on physical media, anyway.

Well, try to keep an open mind until you actually see it.

That’s not how the forum works. :p

I am keeping an open mind – you won’t see me go into a hysterical meltdown the likes of which I had when TFA came out – but I still don’t like the direction the ST is going down. I don’t like the story choices, and I don’t much like the aesthetics.