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Post #1136416

Author
Octorox
Parent topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1136416/action/topic#1136416
Date created
30-Nov-2017, 9:16 AM

Hal 9000 said:

It’s subjective, of course, but that line doesn’t really work for me. Feels off in delivery and wording.

Fair enough, but I think there needs to be some acknowledgement there that the republic is taken care of. The way your current version launches right into talk of firing at the resistance feels too quick, there’s no bridge.