TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 50

Very good ! Is something going to be done about the fact we clearly see Ren standing in front of Snoke ? (what about cropping him out ? With a 4K video quality shot it would be seamless I guess).

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s another attempt at that little scene. I added some faint distant explosion sounds when we cut back to Finn and Rey, as well as using audio of Finn breathing heavily from earlier in the film (as in the previous clip I posted). I tried to thread the needle with the music as we transition into Snoke, and I think it’s much better than the initial mockup.

https://vimeo.com/245068520
password: monkey

This works well, it’s interesting to see all the new ideas being tried!

The problems I see with this clip:
• At 0:25 Kylo needs to be replaced with Hux, shouldn’t be too difficult though.
• At 0:31 where Snoke looks over to the side. If Hux is the only one there Snoke’s gaze should be fixed on him. So the cut needs to happen sooner or the shot needs to be slowed so his head doesn’t move.
• At 0:47 the “Snoke music” keeps playing, which for me doesn’t work. I think it only fits in the presence of Snoke and I’d rather see it replaced with a bit of something else. Perhaps a more orchestral cue could start to build over Snokes last lines to give a different feeling to them as well, as “prepare the weapon” is now a “hand me my gun” type of line rather than “we will fire eventually”.

I think this idea is best for V2, at least. I remember really liking Neverar’s first attempt at this when he originally posted it. Snoke and Hux basically say “The Republic is destroyed, and now we can destroy the Resistance!”, and I think it shows how useful Starkiller base is. They can destroy all their enemies at once, from across the galaxy. The Republic, the Resistance, and finally Luke (if they had ever discovered his hiding place). And with the First Order apparently being smaller than the Empire, it makes seem smarter. I think it also shows that Snoke does play a part in these machinations, rather than Hux just playing off Snoke’s fears. Here is his original version

NeverarGreat said:

Alternate take on Snoke and friends:
https://vimeo.com/221526067
Password: hux

I think going back to this simpler idea is good, but it might be worth trying to get closer to Neverar’s original dialogue. Instead of Hux saying, “The Republic, it is wreckage” you might be able to piece together the word “destroyed” from “destroy” and “droid”, then you could have “We [have] destroyed the Republic” or something similar. Hux says both ‘we’ and ‘have’ in the second Snoke scene. Cutting words together like this can be really jarring and noticeable, but it might be worth the attempt.

On another topic, regarding the Starkiller explosion, I think the reworking of the music you guys did for it was incredible work. The music always felt very victorious and triumphant to me, and even though they destroy Starkiller base, it doesn’t really feel like a complete victory in this edit (which motivated the removal of the pilot reactions at the end). Anyway, several months ago I stumbled across a YouTuber (who seems to have removed the video since then) who rescored this scene with a cue from the track Yoda and the Force. I thought it fit really well, even leading me to think it may have been used as part of the temp-track during post-production. I think the Burning Homestead cue was used in a similar way, but they liked it so much that they decided to keep it in the final cut rather than use what John Williams wrote for that part (since different music for that part appears in the soundtrack).

Anyway, I don’t want to get things sidetracked now that we’re so close, but I thought I’d share it just in case. I put off sharing it for months because I didn’t think it was relevant to the edit, but I think the more melancholic/hopeful music could fit better with the restructuring. Or maybe someone else might find use for it in their own edit. I don’t like the transition I made at the end but it could be reworked. Regardless, I definitely wanted to thank you guys for going through this process on a public forum and allowing other people to build off things you are working on; that’s how I was even able to do this in the first place.

no password
https://vimeo.com/214002065

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s another attempt at that little scene. I added some faint distant explosion sounds when we cut back to Finn and Rey, as well as using audio of Finn breathing heavily from earlier in the film (as in the previous clip I posted). I tried to thread the needle with the music as we transition into Snoke, and I think it’s much better than the initial mockup.

https://vimeo.com/245068520
password: monkey

Hal, anyone way you could turn on download for this or just send it to me? I have a note about the music but I feel like it’d just be easier to do a quick mock up to show what I mean than to explain it.

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s a thing:
https://vimeo.com/245069381
Password: jump

This is great, one of the things I’m baffled they didn’t do themselves. My one note is that the hyperspace jump sounds are a both maybe a little loud.

RogueLeader said:

I think this idea is best for V2, at least. I remember really liking Neverar’s first attempt at this when he originally posted it. Snoke and Hux basically say “The Republic is destroyed, and now we can destroy the Resistance!”, and I think it shows how useful Starkiller base is. They can destroy all their enemies at once, from across the galaxy. The Republic, the Resistance, and finally Luke (if they had ever discovered his hiding place). And with the First Order apparently being smaller than the Empire, it makes seem smarter. I think it also shows that Snoke does play a part in these machinations, rather than Hux just playing off Snoke’s fears. Here is his original version

NeverarGreat said:

Alternate take on Snoke and friends:
https://vimeo.com/221526067
Password: hux

I think going back to this simpler idea is good, but it might be worth trying to get closer to Neverar’s original dialogue. Instead of Hux saying, “The Republic, it is wreckage” you might be able to piece together the word “destroyed” from “destroy” and “droid”, then you could have “We [have] destroyed the Republic” or something similar. Hux says both ‘we’ and ‘have’ in the second Snoke scene. Cutting words together like this can be really jarring and noticeable, but it might be worth the attempt.

That actually works pretty well, though you’re right “wreckage” is the one thing that kills it.

no password
https://vimeo.com/214002065

This is nice and fits emotionally, but the fact that Yoda’s theme is used so heavily is a massive no no to me, unfortunately. Anyway, I think the cue that’s used there doesn’t sound completely victorious anyway, it’s got a bit of bittersweetness to it in my opinion.

Hal 9000 said:

Anyone have any ideas for a brief musical sting for the ending of the Snoke scene? I’ll have to skim the OST and see what I can find.

Don’t know if you missed this:

DominicCobb said:

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s another attempt at that little scene. I added some faint distant explosion sounds when we cut back to Finn and Rey, as well as using audio of Finn breathing heavily from earlier in the film (as in the previous clip I posted). I tried to thread the needle with the music as we transition into Snoke, and I think it’s much better than the initial mockup.

https://vimeo.com/245068520
password: monkey

Hal, anyone way you could turn on download for this or just send it to me? I have an idea about the music but I feel like it’d just be easier to do a quick mock up myself to show what I mean than to explain it.

NeverarGreat said:

I’d probably go with the restructuring approach for Starlight, but at least the new Snoke scene keeps everything else in place.

I definitely think you should! I was originally unsure about the idea but your most recent versions have shown that it could work really well. I think your other idea, the brief Snoke scene, has an efficient, less is more, approach that fits with trying to keep this edit focused on supplementing the main change while preserving as much of the theatrical version as possible. Also, your new hyperspace shots feel super professional. Great work on that.

And Hal, if that doesn’t work I do think the dialogue would still work fine as is. Just thought it might be worth another go.

Also, was the idea of having Ackbar report to the fighters that the Oscillator was still functioning scrapped, or just put in a different place?

I vote for the short Snoke scene for this edit, at least V2. The scene reordering idea is interesting but I feel like it has a lot of potential for causing confusion.

I probably missed something along the way but what exactly is wrong with the “The republic, it is wreckage” line?

Hal 9000 said:

Though it wouldn’t be in the edit if I were forced to export what I’ve got right now at gunpoint, here’s what the Ackbar line looks like at this stage:
https://vimeo.com/245133834
password: allahu

lol, nice password

Yeah, the biggest problem being the noticeable difference between his OT and TFA voice. Didn’t someone also make a version where his line just started in the D’Qar base and then ended as radio chatter, excluding the “all craft” line entirely? Maybe cutting straight to the base was too jarring. But like you said, if we can get a solid version of the Snoke scene it won’t exactly be necessary. If you feel there are more important shots/scenes to worry about in order to complete V2 then obviously those need to be focused on. Sorry if I’m derailing the focus at all by bringing these things up.

Great! So since Ridley has pretty much completed his incredible work on the Leia deleted scene, and the opening crawl text has been decided on, does that only leave Ridley’s Maz’s castle scene, and possibly this Snoke scene?

Alright, I wanted to get this out before I called it a night but my computer was acting up so I didn’t have any time to make it pretty, but here’s a very rough idea of what could be done with the music:
https://vimeo.com/245147530
password: hux