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The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 79

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suspiciouscoffee said:

Guess who still hasn’t filled out scholarship applications

Is it the application that frustrates you, or the stress if going to college and not knowing what you want out of it yet?

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suspiciouscoffee said:

dahmage said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

Guess who still hasn’t filled out scholarship applications

Is it the application that frustrates you, or the stress if going to college and not knowing what you want out of it yet?

Yes.

I think you will figure it out, just take one step at a time.

what is good advice for one person, isn’t good advice for another, so i wish i could tell you something wise, but i think you are probably wise enough to sort it out (with some good input from those around you). I know for me it was important to just get it on with, and not postpone college. it took me till halfway through my sophmore year to get serious, and switch majors to something i was enthusiastic about, but for me it was important to just keep moving. But i have heard from others who took off a few years to work before starting college, and for them they swore that was the only way to go.

Like everything, there are hundreds of variables and you can drive yourself crazy. but you have to consider 1) is college right now going to create unbearable debt / what financial aid can i get 2) what am i good at, what do i want to be good at 3) will i regret this

Its always a good idea to start finding healthy ways to relieve stress. physical activity is a great way, i used to play ultimate frisbee when i was your age (or closer to it), and meditiation can be good too. this is a life skill. (and hey, applications usually love to hear about your life skillz!)

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suspiciouscoffee said:

Unfortunately, it has begun. It’s that time of year again where I’m forced by my parents yet again to endure another miserable season of swim team competition. The first real practice I attended was two nights ago, and I spent the entire time thinking about just how easy it would be to get back in my car and drive off a bridge, or overdose on heart medication to induce a heart attack.

I’m a senior in high school, and if I could make it through this year, I’m done for good. I only have a few more months of this shit. Trouble is, I don’t think I can do it. I legitimately would rather kill myself tonight that put up with this again. I know that sounds pathetic, because I’m pathetic.

I’ve been a part of various swim teams for about a decade now, and I’ve hated it the whole time.

The entire world of athletics disgusts me. It’s a toxic environment full of obnoxious, cruel people. I’ve said for years that I want no part of it. My father, of course, thinks I’m just an edgy, spiteful bastard, and maybe I am, but I’m just so damn tired. It’s not like I have hardly any reasons to live anyway.

Anyway, that’s my long, incoherent, derisory tirade of the night.

Ugh. Sux that they won’t listen. If this is the last year, I wish you all the luck in the world so that you can make it through the last few months. You are so close to being on your own, and making your own decisions that can exclude swimming.

I will send a nice hot coffee your way. (But I wouldn’t drink it if I were you… It’s a bit, suspect?)

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I would skip every day of practice. That’s just me though.

By the way, the entire world is a toxic environment full of obnoxious, cruel people. I’m sick of only specific groups of jerks getting called out while everyone else gets a free pass.

The Person in Question

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Think about something happy while you’re swimming. You seem nervous about college but if it makes you feel better, there’ll be no one to force you to join athletics at college.

The Person in Question

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suspiciouscoffee said:

Unfortunately, it has begun. It’s that time of year again where I’m forced by my parents yet again to endure another miserable season of swim team competition. The first real practice I attended was two nights ago, and I spent the entire time thinking about just how easy it would be to get back in my car and drive off a bridge, or overdose on heart medication to induce a heart attack.

I’m a senior in high school, and if I could make it through this year, I’m done for good. I only have a few more months of this shit. Trouble is, I don’t think I can do it. I legitimately would rather kill myself tonight that put up with this again. I know that sounds pathetic, because I’m pathetic.

I’ve been a part of various swim teams for about a decade now, and I’ve hated it the whole time.

The entire world of athletics disgusts me. It’s a toxic environment full of obnoxious, cruel people. I’ve said for years that I want no part of it. My father, of course, thinks I’m just an edgy, spiteful bastard, and maybe I am, but I’m just so damn tired. It’s not like I have hardly any reasons to live anyway.

Anyway, that’s my long, incoherent, derisory tirade of the night.

You know, I genuinely worry about your self-loathing. You don’t have to hate yourself just because you feel pressured to be someone else. I’m sure your parents love you, but you also have to be who you are, and if they are good parents, they will continue to love you exactly as you are.

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 (Edited)

If you aren’t going to or are unable to quit, then you should remember that swim practice doesn’t last forever. This would be the last year you’d ever have to do it.

The Person in Question

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 (Edited)

I’ve found myself feeling generally worried without any particular point of focus. I can’t sleep. My epileptic auras and ticks are becoming more noticeable. My stammering is beginning to return. I think out loud way too much and sometimes more loudly than I am comfortable with. I frequently start sentences and … <THAT

I think it could be that lots of my friends and family have more tangible problems and I am becoming aware that as time rolls forward and the canvas and frame of my face is becoming a bit more antique I might lose them.

My partner is particularly someone I worry about. His night terror attacks, heavy drinking and smoking are wearing me a bit thin. Especially now that I work quite a bit from home and while typing up reports in the night I hear these terrifying screams from his room. I want to help but I can’t force him to seek it and as much as I care I don’t know how much more of it I can take. If I left, which is something I constantly have considered for 15 years and something were to happen to him I would be utterly demolished. Then I feel guilty for turning his poor health into an issue of my own preservation.

It’s never been an easy relationship, when drunk he can be a very challenging presence and we haven’t been anything other than people who try to like each other and share a house for about ten years. We have separate rooms etc

I also worry that I have invested so much time with my life in it’s current mode that the bloom is somewhat of this particular rose. I am only 47 but with my own health problems and the low percentage of gay people in this neck of the woods my chances of building a new life may have already sneaked off down the pub and not come home.
Another vector in us staying together so long is that it makes financial sense. The mortgage is paid. The bills are easy to manage. If we broke up it would be very expensive and I would have to work much longer hours to keep a roof over my head. My partner is finding it impossible to find work at the moment. He feels that ageism is a factor, he is also very over-qualified in a market that likes to dangle skills incentives at younger, less expensive employees. He is angry all the time and much more so when drunk. He shouts and yells at the radio for hours at a go and while I sympathise it does set me on edge. Other times he be pretty supportive. Helping out with proof reading and that sort of thing. He looks amazing, he is 11 years older than me but looks younger than me.
I keep checking to see if he casts a reflection 😃

I don’t feel depressed. It’s just a sort of low hum of doom around my life at the moment. The whole political thing doesn’t help either. Maybe my mood will lift on its own. I have built up some savings on the off chance that if doesn’t. It’s good to vent though, it’s important to get some perspective.

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You guys, I really hate being picked on. I was a pretty nerdy guy back when in school, and I got picked on rather frequently.

I do not take well to being mocked. Even if it is in jest. And if I get angry and it makes people laugh, then it fuels my frustration for not being respected or taken seriously, until I blow up in response. And then I seethe for a long time afterward before I can cool off.

I know it might be considered a problem, but it’s who I am. I can not change it.

TV’s Frink said:

chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.

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chyron8472 said:

You guys, I really hate being picked on. I was a pretty nerdy guy back when in school, and I got picked on rather frequently.

I do not take well to being mocked. Even if it is in jest. And if I get angry and it makes people laugh, then it fuels my frustration for not being respected or taken seriously, until I blow up in response. And then I seethe for a long time afterward before I can cool off.

I know it might be considered a problem, but it’s who I am. I can not change it.

I know what it is like to be picked on. I too was nerdy in school. I was the victim of a lot of name calling bullying. I too can get frustrated at not being respected or taken seriously. I know it can hurt. Sorry man.

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A couple of my classmates took it upon themselves to try and kick/hit me in the balls repeatedly. High school was a fun four years!

The Person in Question

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I’ve made an appointment with my GP. People who advise people about mental health issues are often bad at taking their own advice. Felt better for making the call. Talked to my boss too. I couldn’t have a better job really for this situation. Meanwhile my twitching and ticks are getting much worse. Making some audible ones now. Random words, yelps. I was at a very important meeting the other day and had to sit on my hands because the tremors were so bad. I don’t feel as doomy though. Just wish I had the courage to be honest and open with my partner. I feel really bad cooking the dinner while contemplating arranging to dismantle our lives but with his SAD and Christmas coming up it’s just not the right time. It would be cruel and I never want to do that.

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So I’ve started seeing another therapist. I’ve also been having some limited luck with low dose Abilify. It’s still a slow process; there are still rough patches, I don’t think I’ll ever be back to normal or to where I want to be, but I’ve had some better days, which I would never have thought I’d have had not too long ago. I’m still tired of fighting. I still don’t feel like I’ll ever be back to where I was. But I’ve made some progress, there’s no denying that. I wish it was more, and one day at a time is a hard philosophy when you want to feel better, but I suppose every day should count for something.

Anyway, thanks again to everyone for their continued kindness and support. I guess sometimes things can get better, and it’s nice to think that. There’s still a long, long way to go, but it’s a start. It’s a start.

“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.”

Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death

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Bingowings said:

I’ve made an appointment with my GP. People who advise people about mental health issues are often bad at taking their own advice. Felt better for making the call. Talked to my boss too. I couldn’t have a better job really for this situation. Meanwhile my twitching and ticks are getting much worse. Making some audible ones now. Random words, yelps. I was at a very important meeting the other day and had to sit on my hands because the tremors were so bad. I don’t feel as doomy though. Just wish I had the courage to be honest and open with my partner. I feel really bad cooking the dinner while contemplating arranging to dismantle our lives but with his SAD and Christmas coming up it’s just not the right time. It would be cruel and I never want to do that.

Good luck, man. I think this is a very positive step for you, even though it might seem scary.

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Mike O said:

So I’ve started seeing another therapist. I’ve also been having some limited luck with low dose Abilify. It’s still a slow process; there are still rough patches, I don’t think I’ll ever be back to normal or to where I want to be, but I’ve had some better days, which I would never have thought I’d have had not too long ago. I’m still tired of fighting. I still don’t feel like I’ll ever be back to where I was. But I’ve made some progress, there’s no denying that. I wish it was more, and one day at a time is a hard philosophy when you want to feel better, but I suppose every day should count for something.

Anyway, thanks again to everyone for their continued kindness and support. I guess sometimes things can get better, and it’s nice to think that. There’s still a long, long way to go, but it’s a start. It’s a start.

To quote from BoJack Horseman: “Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”

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Bingowings said:

I’ve made an appointment with my GP. People who advise people about mental health issues are often bad at taking their own advice. Felt better for making the call. Talked to my boss too. I couldn’t have a better job really for this situation. Meanwhile my twitching and ticks are getting much worse. Making some audible ones now. Random words, yelps. I was at a very important meeting the other day and had to sit on my hands because the tremors were so bad. I don’t feel as doomy though. Just wish I had the courage to be honest and open with my partner. I feel really bad cooking the dinner while contemplating arranging to dismantle our lives but with his SAD and Christmas coming up it’s just not the right time. It would be cruel and I never want to do that.

Sorry, you are having a difficult time. I think it is a good idea to seek help. Sorry things are not going well in your relationship and that it looks like you are heading for a break up. I hope you able to get the help you need and that things get better for you.

What is this SAD thing you refer to?