As an old married guy, I can still very vividly remember the pain and bitterness of similar experiences, and it is never easy to deal with those emotions. A good support system like your friends here and time will eventually see this pain begin to fade, so please give yourself some grace in the healing process. After a lifetime of heartache and tragedy, I can tell you from personal experience that these difficult and bitter times will make the good times which lay ahead that much sweeter.

Grace and peace to you brother.