I like it, although the audio transitions need to be a little bit smoother to make it work completely.

That being said:

The shot where Rey sees the attack force is worse than superfluous, now that we see the Finalizer. It also makes no tactical sense for Rey to go back to the castle since she has no hope of outrunning fighters that are already overhead, and indeed we see the results of her tactical error directly afterward.

I don’t agree: the shot is needed for various reasons:

it’s a cool shot (in a somehow cheap looking movie, this kind of money shot is truly needed);
Rey needs to know there is a great danger coming, because she cares for her friends, even though she doesn’t know if she can make a difference she’ll try (“I’m saying something nice about Rey, what have you done !?!”);
the shot establishes the continuity between the characters and the current situation.

So, to sum up: leave this shot where it belongs 😉 !

Now, are we sure we leave “Those beasts!” untouched 😃