Okay, a lot’s happened in the last week, so long story ahead.
Last sunday night I was going on one of my signature late-night, self-loathing, homophobic, text rants, but this one was to a friend who I hadn’t really talked to in years so he didn’t know how bad I was. He contacted my parents and told them about my self-image issues and my crippling fear of college, the future, and the suicidal thoughts that accompanied (I assume he didn’t mention my bisexuality because I haven’t been stoned to death yet). So they talked to me for a few hours on monday night, took me to the doctor wednesday morning, and now I’m on various medication (Prozac, a sleeping pill, and some other anxiety thing). I haven’t noticed much change yet, but now I’m worried about it because if I do start to hate myself less, then end up outing myself/end up living my life as a proud march into hell, then I’m worse off than I was before, if any of that makes sense (it does in my screwed up head, anyway).
Anyway, that’s the (short version of) the story of the last week or so.
Sorry you had such a sucky experience, hoping for the best for you. As others have said, your friend seems to have made a good call from his vantage point, and you are a decent cuppa fellow.