Proposed Revisited ROTJ Opening Crawl (85 words, 7 more than original):
While his friends have scoured the galaxy for Han Solo, Luke Skywalker has evaded Darth Vader’s relentless pursuit by continuing his Jedi training on the secret planet of Dagobah.
With Han finally discovered in the lair of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt, Luke has left his training once again to join his friends in a daring rescue attempt.
Little do they know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly been constructing a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star…
Here’s your crawl edited to remove some redundancy:
It is a time of open war. As the Imperial Starfleet struggles to contain the growing Rebel Alliance, Luke Skywalker has continued his Jedi training on the hidden world of Dagobah.
Meanwhile, his friends have traveled to Tatooine in an attempt to rescue Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt.
Little do they know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly been constructing a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star…
In this version, the scenes could stay as they are. In fact, the crawl now mirrors the structure of the first act with the Death Star scene occurring first, then Tatooine, then Dagobah. Now it appears that Luke was only called away for a few days to rescure Han, and is returning to find Yoda pretty much as he left him. Luke doesn’t seem surprised that Yoda is in poor health, and even tries to deny his obvious infirmity out of politeness.
JEDIT: Good idea Ender. Perhaps something like this:
It is a time of open war. As the Rebellion gathers its strength for a decisive strike, Luke Skywalker has returned to the hidden world of Dagobah to complete his Jedi training.
Unable to face the question of his true father, he awaits word from his friends as they prepare to rescue Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt.
Little do they know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly been constructing a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star…