I don’t know if this is the right thread but I think it is…oh well…here it is:
This past summer, things with both my friends and family have been crashing and burning. On one hand, I had hung out with a girl everyday for a month straight, became best friends with her, grew super close to her and her family. Short story; I didn’t have the confidence to make a move despite how obviuos it was that she liked me. She eventually just moved on and started dating someone else. I ended up losing all of my previous friends because I had hung out with this girl a lot and she was popular and had some past issues with one of my old friends.
My family and I have a really tense relationship because of how open I am becoming about my beliefs when it comes to religion and God. They are obviously getting shaken to their cores, and there have been some emotionally distressful arguments that got really personal. They just began attacking nothing but my character and my lack of respect for God.
This next year I have some serious academic challenges that I took upon myself with my classes and I feel almost no motivation to maintain my 4.0 for the last two years of highschool. I just am not seeming to care as much when my family will eventually disown me and I am starting to isolate myself from everyone.
In response to all of this I think I maybe made a mistake. I’ve done my fair share of pot before but never felt the need to come back to it and could go weeks without it. It just made everything a little funner and cooler. After a rough summer I decided to switch it up and get some booze instead for the first time.
And after a few nights of it, I feel like it is affecting me a lot differently than pot. Pot would just be an enhancement of reality, whereas when I get drunk I just feel like I can escape. And after every night, the next day I would just think about doing it more. This never happened with pot. And when I start drinking I can’t seem to stop. I have been getting shitfaced drunk a lot now and noticed that I will tremble a lot if I miss a day or two, and I really look forward to my evenings of escape like nothing else in my life. It seemed like the solution but I am scared that I am falling in a trap and risking future addiction. It’s just so much different than weed. When I say that the whiskey will just make me forget about all my problems and shortcomings, it couldn’t be more true. And when I’m sober, it is all I can think about. My shortcomings and failures and problems that I am having with friends and family. Alcohol just takes me away from it all. It’s so blissful and even being gone for a week for a family vacation sounds like hell cause I won’t be able to drink for a full week. I just don’t know right now. And the more I freak out about this stuff, the more I drink.
I wish I could help you more. I know my advice probably isn’t much appreciated in this regard because of my perspective, so I will just try to keep it more straightforward and less Mormon-y.
Alcohol is a very dangerous substance. Why it is legal and marijuana illegal (not always, but you get the idea) is bizarre to me. My guess is the more widespread recreational use is the real reason. That said, detoxification can be very dangerous and even lethal without assistance. You are going through some very difficult identity crises, that much is evident to any objective observer. Dealing with it by using drugs or alcohol will ultimately worsen you. First, your health will suffer. Second, you learn that the way to cope with life’s stressors is to use a substance rather than coping skills. Life is hard, but it can be managed with good coping skills and interpersonal support. I suspect you feel alienated from your parents right now, but if I were to take a non-moviefreakedmind guess, I believe your parents love you and will do their best to support you, even if you do differ with them on religion. Talk to them about your substance abuse issues and your stress. Let them know that you love them and want to maintain a lasting relationship, regardless of differences on religion. Ask them for help with alcohol and drugs, because I think you can both find common ground on the desire to help you get away from that.
I know you feel frustrated with their efforts to retain you in the faith. Be patient with them and don’t judge them for doing what they feel is right. Accept the help you want and gracefully decline the help you don’t want, and hopefully you can work through your addictions and maintain a friendly relationship with your parents.