Perhaps it’s just me, but your crawl wording is great with one exception. I would suggest “Imperial” be added before Director Krennic.
Just watched it and I have to agree with you. Thanks!
Mark’s Down On Your Syntax said:
I’m really looking forward to seeing this. It sounds great, and with a few exceptions your edits are the edits I would make to the film.
Thanks for the interest! Which edit choices would you add or remove?