^Thank you! I’ll work on those. I’m really glad you actually gave feedback!
For the miswire jokes thing, I remember the mindset I was in when cutting that, and I think it’s because I didn’t want Anakin and Obi Wan to have any hint of animosity in the opening. I wasn’t sure if someone was going to read that scene as Anakin being serious or sarcastic - I didn’t want anyone to think Anakin took something like that so personally. And I also don’t know if there’s enough in the film that characterizes Anakin’s humor as doing bits. It’s a little more innocuous and traditionally friendly for Anakin just to go straight to being defensive of R2, rather than snark on the offensive. I might put it back after thinking about it more.
In the opera, I think cutting straight to “is it possible to learn this power” is too abrupt, and makes the Darth Plagueis story much less of a story. It’s weird to have Palpatine build up this tragedy and then it end up just being “There was a guy who could save people from death. The end.” And if you just meant to switch out “he could actually…?” with it, you get rid of “Not from a Jedi”, which is the beat I feel like the scene should end on. Besides, it’s not a huge thing to have Anakin ask as if to make sure he heard something right.
LordRorek said:
0:9:26 - 0:9:55
I like what you did here with the elevator and R2 burning the droids although I feel that cutting back and forth between the two happens a little too much thus making it kinda distracting. What I would suggest is that after you have R2 fix the elevator cut to the elevator segment and then after Anakin and Obi-Wan’s little banter about R2 you cut to R2 getting picked up and burning the droids. I feel it would be less distracting and the comedic timing would work better overall.
I guess it’s just me, but I rather like the cutting back and forth; the juxtaposition of R2 having a violent-ish adventure as Obi Wan and Anakin are literally just having an elevator chat, works better to me than if we watch one happen then the other. It’s quick, abrupt, and happens a lot, but I think that’s what adds to the humor. But that is a device used in editing for comedy movies, so I can see how it’s distracting in the context of a movie like this. Idk.
0:13:03 - 0:13:05
I like what you did here having Anakin in silent contemplation rather than saying “Then his fate will be the same as ours.” but it looks a little weird. I would suggest holding on his face then using the part where he looks up from Obi-wan toward Palpatine ( 0:13:01 - 0:13:02 ) but reverse it so it looks like he is looking down at Obi-wan.
Thanks for this! I’ve been trying to break how I was going to fix this scene, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of reversing the previous shot! I’ve changed it quickly in between studying lol. Thank you! It really helps to have more than my pair of eyes on the edit.
0:25:21 - 0:25:28
Excellent editing here I love the dialog changes but the music gets a little loud towards the end to the point where I can hardly hear Palpatine say “and you saved my life.”.
I had “and you saved my life” at a higher volume in an earlier cut, but the disparity between it and “you fought many battles…” was too noticeable to a few people who had previewed. The next few cuts were then too quiet, and I guess I’m still ironing out what the perfect level for that line is. Have to find that middle ground.
0:53:07 - 0:53:10
The only thing I don’t like about this scene is that you suddenly cut to Grievous mid-fall without showing him jumping off the platform.
This doesn’t bother me too much. He was actually force pushed into a wall by Obi Wan after their stare-down and slid/fell down into the shot you see in my cut. The fact that you thought he jumped himself is probably what I was going for.
1:03:18 - 1:03:19
I understand why you cut out the whole spin jump Palpatine does but it feels like something has been removed when I watch it so even though its kinda silly I would keep it.
That’s fair. To me, with the spin, it feels like the Jedi are too slow to react. Without one extra shot, it’s more of a surprise attack. So it was either keeping in the spin shot, or the shot of him landing - and since the shot of him landing is not only less silly, but also consistent with the next shot, I decided to use that one. I hoped people assumed he just jumped forward.
1:04:27 - 1:05:38
I saw what you were going for but I feel the transition of Palpatine’s face from normal to scarred without an explanation is a little jarring and would be kinda confusing to first-time viewers. I also feel that Anakin should say “What have I done?” because without that it makes Palpatine’s next statement sound like half a conversation to me.
This is actually from Hal 9000’s edit, and I think it’s fine tbh. It would be kind of confusing to the hypothetical first time viewer, but I don’t know how much. There are alot of things that go unexplained in Star Wars, and this is one of those things that’s easier to assume correctly; that that’s his “true form” or whatever. The “or whatever” part allows for some imagination on the part of the viewer anyway.
As for “what have I done”, I do think it’s better for Anakin to not be so indecisive. He knows what he did, he chose to do it. Showing immediate regret makes the foundation in which he made the decision come off as a little shaky. Like, “I did this, but I didn’t really want to?” Hayden’s face says enough about how “hard” it was to do, but I wanted to draw attention away from him thinking it was the “wrong” thing to do. And I know I’ve said Anakin in my cut doesn’t think he’s in the moral right as Darth Vader, but all that means is that he hasn’t deluded himself into thinking he’s “the hero” or he’s doing good things. He knows he’s doing bad things, but to him, the ends justify the means.
“You’re fulfilling your destiny…” isn’t definitively an answer to a question either. It’s just a statement, and that Palps says it on his own, kind of paints him as such a confident bastard; despite Anakin not saying anything one way or another, he gets up and starts talking like he has no doubts Anakin will join him.
1:05:38 - 1:06:40
I like this scene although I would have at least a mention of Padme being the reason why he pledges himself to Darth Sidious and about them needing to work together to discover the secret to life because it feels a little too quick and I think a first time viewer would be left wondering “why is he becoming his apprentice now? isn’t there another options?”. I also feel cutting to Yoda in this scene is a little distracting, it should focus entirely on Anakin and Palpatine.
Padme isn’t the only reason he pledges himself, so I didn’t want to draw too much attention to her as the primary reason. Also, Palpatine admitting that he doesn’t know how to save Padme when Anakin makes it clear that’s his motivation is… well. That sentence speaks for itself. Why would Anakin still be listening at this point?
So while there’s no definitive answer verbally spoken about why he’s pledging himself, I trust my audience to understand how set up and pay off works. As for Yoda, I might remove it if more people find it unnecessary.
1:30:45 - 1:30:46
There’s a weird music change at this point that was a little distracting.
I thought the music surprisingly flowed from one note to the next despite my cutting, but I did think the background lava explosion sfx just kind of abruptly stops; is that what you meant? If that’s the case, I’m definitely still trying to work that out. Maybe by having the sound fade out a little sooner before the next cut? But that might be more jarring.
1:31:16 - 1:31:38
I like how you cut out a lot of the cheesy dialog here but it feels a little clunky and disjointed. Here is how I feel it could be improved.Anakin “To my new empire.”.
Obi-Wan “Your new empire? Anakin, my allegiance is to the republic!”
Anakin “If you’re not with me then you’re my enemy.”
Obi-Wan “I will do what I must.”
Anakin “You will try.”
I feel this removes most of the cheesy dialog while still feeling like a complete conversation.
1:35:30 - 1:35:39
I would have included Anakin saying “This is the end for you.” I just feel Anakin is a little too quiet throughout the fight. Obi-Wan at least got “I have failed you Anakin.” so I feel Anakin should have at least a little dialog. Also, I feel Obi-Wan should say the full “I have failed you Anakin, I have failed you.” because I feel it cuts away a little too quickly when you shorten it.
For me, this scene is clunky no matter how you spin it. If it sounds like a half a conversation in my edit though, that’s almost the point. Anakin doesn’t want to talk.
This goes back to how I feel Anakin should be acting in lieu of the set up. Like I said, he hasn’t deluded himself into thinking he’s doing the morally righteous good thing, he’s acting on “the ends justify the means.” He’s not corrupted by the dark side or is yearning to increase his power in the force - the dark side allows him to do what needs to be done for his idea of a galaxy under law and order, to keep Padme safe. Its philosophy tells him it’s okay to do these things and to feel this way. So he’s not proud of himself or the things he’s done - but he has to do them. To me, his pre-duel taunts against Obi Wan lean too closely to the original where he feels proud to be a sith, and has deluded himself into thinking the jedi are evil, including Obi Wan.
I think there isn’t enough to support the idea that in the time Anakin and Obi Wan are separated, he turns fully against his best friend. Before, you have the justification of “oh the dark side corrupted him” or “oh they were never really friends”, but those are both contrary to the idea of my edit. They’re really only enemies by circumstance and what Anakin’s done at this point; I don’t think Anakin should have any real ill will against Obi Wan. By leaving “if you’re not with me…” hanging, and silence from Anakin there onwards, it’s almost like Anakin is giving Obi Wan a quick out. But Obi Wan obviously doesn’t want to back down, so Anakin does he must - which is try to kill him. From there, Anakin is “too quiet” because in my interpretation of the characters, I do believe that any verbal engagement between the two would go differently than it did in the theatrical. Obi Wan could talk sense (or at the very least regret enough to stop) into Anakin, because from Anakin’s POV, he doesn’t believe the Jedi are actually evil.
When Obi Wan says “I have failed you…”, they’ve stopped fighting and it’s his chance to reach out to Anakin to possibly bring him back with a conversation. I think it might have worked if Anakin engaged back, and I think Anakin kind of knows that. He stays silent and willfully ignores him to avoid his own motivations becoming clouded. He doesn’t need to hear something that might invalidate all the things he’s done and what he’s doing. This all has to be for something, but he doesn’t trust himself not to fall back into the light with a few words from a friend. The explicit “This is the end for you, my master” might say the same thing about Anakin willfully tuning out Obi Wan, but it feels too much, again, like Anakin is playing the part of someone who wants to do this. I think his silence works better towards my end goals and is vague enough to allow for other interpretations: like he doesn’t want to humanize his target by talking because the human would be his best friend.
1:36:00 - 1:36:10
I’m a little torn as to whether or not to include Anakin’s “underestimate my power” line but I think that you should have focused on Anakin’s face before Obi-Wan says “Don’t try it” because to me Obi-Wan can just tell what Anakin is thinking by the look on his face but if he just says it without focusing on Anakin’s face first, it looks a little weird.
I had a slowed down shot of Anakin’s face there in an earlier cut, but it looks even weirder. I took the lesser of two weirds, because I really don’t want “underestimate my power.”
1:36:15 - 1:37:22
Now I want to say that of all the things you changed removing the majority of Obi-Wan’s speech was my least favorite. I know you’re trying to make this more personal and less about the prophecy but I feel that this entire speech is completely personal because in my mind this speech is two things.
Obi-Wan is saying “You were my brother, You were the greatest of us, and you betrayed us all.” this is basically Obi-Wan telling Anakin how disappointed he is that he has fallen so low and how much Obi-Wan failed him.
This is the point from Obi-Wan’s point of view where Anakin “died”. So I consider this speech in a way to be Obi-Wan’s eulogy for Anakin Skywalker who was in his words “The best star pilot in the galaxy, a cunning warrior, and he was a good friend.”.
Good points, and I might put it back in.
1:43:36 - 1:43:55
I see what you were gong for here but I would put a pause between what the emperor saying “You killed her” and Vader’s reaction and put Padme’s death during said pause so that we can see Vader’s reaction on screen. Seeing his reaction to this news is one of the highlights of ROTS for me, so I would hate to see it cut.
I’ll see what I can do. I remember putting Padme’s death where it was because I felt the shot went by too fast before or after Vader’s initial reaction.
The only other thing I feel should be included in this edit is this deleted scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJUVHSBy9JM but remove Grevious and Shok Te so they can meet him on the bridge. Because I feel this scene adds some levity to the film and the banter gives off that brothers vibe you’re going for.
I’d love to, but I really don’t know where I’d put it or how I’d even make the scene work without Grevious.
…
Anyway, thank you so much for actually giving feedback! It really helps out. And I do love the poster. I really want to leave it up to people to vote, but I might just have to pick one myself when I’m done. It might be yours. It has the font Disney has been using for their new stuff and the TLJ red logo - for “The New Canon Cut,” it fits nicely.