In Middle school, I talked to girls and all but had an abusive friend who ridiculed me and discouraged me anytime I tried to talk to girls. Slowly I lost that motivation and was following the Mormon rule of dating without even having to try. This friend of mine moved and that was definitely for the better. But the effects of his bullying remained and I still had no self confidence to talk to girls.
That individual was never your friend, they were your enemy. Friends are supposed to lift you up, inspire and support you as best as they can - anyone who behaves otherwise is an enemy, to be avoided at all costs. I knew someone who claimed to be my best friend but yet they began seizing upon any opportunity to belittle me (in front of others for maximum damage) about my weight. Eventually, I froze them out of my life and I’ve got no regrets about doing so.
Happy people want to spread happiness as far and as wide as possible. Happy people want to see others succeed in life, be it in relationships, aspirations or general well being. People who feel the need to lower the self-esteem of others and create insecurities within others through emotional abuse, nearly always suffer from serious inadequacies, insecurities and general unhappiness. They project all of their dysfunctions (especially self-loathing) onto others but it’s more of a reflection on how sad and pathetic they are on the inside.