It’s tough not having anyone you feel you can confide in, but it’s good that you’re getting it off your chest here.
Whatever you do, don’t do drugs, or start any sort of addiction. That could seriously screw up your life. While it might feel like your world is collapsing because you’ve hit a rough patch, it’s not over yet. I’ve been there, and I know it can feel pretty hopeless sometimes, but it isn’t. Keep fighting.
You want to be able to look back years from now, and feel relieved that you didn’t get addicted to drugs. You don’t want to look back with regret on the decision that ruined your life. If you’re depressed, that’s really not a good time to be experimenting with things that could harm your health, because your judgement isn’t what it would otherwise be.
Don’t give up yet. Focus on the positives, even if there don’t seem to be many. It can be painful to keep a secret about not believing the same thing as your parents, but remember that you only have to hide it a few more years (I know, it seems long, but when you look back on it, it won’t seem so bad) and then you can finally be true to yourself. Just don’t destroy yourself in the meantime or you really won’t be able to face yourself.
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