Good idea overall!

Things I like about your idea:

-first scene is reveal of Death Star. THAT is quite the way to start the movie and I dig it.
-Making the first act shorter and more straightforward is easily the main positive of this editing strategy.

Possible problems with the idea:

-It would be pretty hard to effectively transition from the crawl and the starry background to the Death Star reveal without it feeling jarring. I suspect that some vfx work would need to be done.
-The feeling of hopping planets might still remain and it could be even more confusing since there would be no location subtitles (or would there?)

Overall, Id love to discuss and figure out a way to make this idea happen 😃