I don’t think that’d work. It’d be a very unusual jumping ahead in time with no scene in between. Keeping the sunset shot as a buffer might make it work but I don’t think so.
Also I think that in general it works better if the viewer has the same question as Finn: “Where’s Rey?” He asks that and we cut to Rey and only then see her decision to return. IMO that just flows better than having the (almost) complete Rey scene before Finn asks his question.