Overall I liked the story. There are just few changes I would like to see. Not sure they can be done through editing.

Han should ask how he didn’t know about the power of the bowcaster or should not acted surprised.
TR8R stormtrooper should be changed to Captain Phasma.
Starkiller base:
A) the beam should go into hyperspace
B) the beam should cause stars to go supernova not destroy planets
C) only the star going supernova should be visible in the skies tokodana.
Rey should be captured by Phasma and rescued by Finn.
Finn should have used Phasma’s hands to bring down the shields.
The attack on the thermal oscillator by the x-wings should fail.
the explosives set off by chewbacca should blow the Oscillator.
In addition to many of the changes I read these would be good in my opinion.