Hi guys, I’m new to the site. I just edited an opening crawl yesterday, what do you think:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1leS6nxMIzmQl9CZ01xVm5JaXc/view

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

ROGUE
ONE

Six years have passed since the
Galactic Empire tightened its grip
on the galaxy. Hope is fading, fear
is everywhere.

Fearing his family’s lives are at
risk, Galen Erso, a science officer
for the Empire, has fled to the
small remote planet of Lah’mu
with the help of Saw Gerrera, a
Rebel extremist.

Desperate for Galen’s valuable
research, Orson Krennic, director
of the dreaded DEATH STAR
project, has recently discovered
Galen’s location and has been
sent to retrieve him…