Do you plan on rewriting any of the sequel trilogy films?
I hadn’t planned on it but I’ll toss the idea around after I see the last Jedi. thanks for checking it out!
By this point its pretty well agreed that Lucas screwed up the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Everyone goes into their own reasons but why they really sucked seems pretty simple to me. Lucas, in an effort to fully explain how and why the Republic fell apart and to satisfy fan boys with too much fanservice, completely lost focus on how the story should have gone.
Prequels by their very nature have to slow the story down and explain how things got to be the way they are in the first movie(s) shown. Episodes 4, 5 and 6 are tight and concise when compared to 1, 2 and 3. The second trilogy never gets into too great a detail on the galactic civil war, all we get is cursory exposition from time to time. To be honest, in my observation of the stories, Luke didn’t seem all that interested in the Rebellion himself. He was a kid who worked his uncle’s moisture farm and was looking for any excuse to get out of that place. He joined the Rebellion because his guardians were killed and he had no other choice really. So it wasn’t necessary to get into detail about the conflict, we just needed to know enough to give the main characters a reason for all the running, shooting and hyper-spacing. Also the first few minutes of Episode 4 tells you all you need to know. When you see the words EMPIRE and REBELLION then see a little ship chased by a ginormous ship its pretty clear what’s going on.
The Prequels in contrast go into full detail on why and how The Galactic Republic have issues with the Trade Federatizzznnnnnn…excuse me, I nodded off. That’s what happens when you have to read boring political shit. Look at the opening crawl of the film and really read what’s there:
Turmoil has engulfed the
Galactic Republic. The taxation
of trade routes to outlying star
systems is in dispute.
Hoping to resolve the matter
with a blockade of deadly
battleships, the greedy Trade
Federation has stopped all
shipping to the small planet
of Naboo.
While the congress of the
Republic endlessly debates
this alarming chain of events,
the Supreme Chancellor has
secretly dispatched two Jedi
Knights, the guardians of
peace and justice in the
galaxy, to settle the conflict…
The bolded parts are what I call “snooze lines”. Taxation of trade routes? Blockade of ships? Endless debates?
And Lucas proceeds to show us all of that in detail. Instead of showing us the development of a young Anakin Skywalker, we get to see the convoluted schism that’s growing in the Galactic Republic. We didn’t need to know the intricacies of why shit was happening because this is Anakin’s story so we should be looking at the world from his point of view. We only need to know whats going as it pertains to him.
Showing us a ten year Anakin Skywalker was a totally bad move. With the way Lucas wrote the story there was nothing for him to do and when you look at it, he only did two things of any significance in the whole film. The Pod-race scene and bumblefucking his way up to the droid control ship and accidentally blowing it up. That’s it. For most of its 2 hour running time Anakin is just in the background. Lucas completely wasted every opportunity he had to establish that character.
In episode 2 we see Anakin as a young adult but here he’s a full apprentice to Obi Wan, we never saw his training and development into a Jedi Padawan. They talk about his adventures but we never saw them. Again we only see Anakin do two or three things in the whole film. Fall in goofy-worst-chemistry-ever love with Padme, avenge his mother’s torture and murder, get his hand cut off by Count Dooku. Most of the film was spent with Obi Wan playing Columbo trying to figure out the overly convoluted schemes pertaining to the clone army.
In episode 3, we see Anakin killing up a bunch of people and succumbing to the dark side but because we’ve spent so little time with him up to that point, we’re not emotionally invested in his fall, we’re just watching it happen.
Lucas wanted parallels between the first and second trilogies so we see Leia, an activist princess, fully involved in the Rebellion. We first see her relaying the plans for the Death Star back to Alderaan but that was at the height of the rebellion so things are pretty much in a shambles and the Rebels need all the help they can get. Padme on the other hand is a Queen pre civil war and while Naboo was under seige and she was something of an exile for the duration of the story, the Queen was never at any point in any real danger. I mean the chick who was her decoy queen was never shot at or in danger of being killed. In fact Padme running around disguised as her servant actually put the Queen in harm’s way much more than if she just sat around wearing the kabuki garb. But the parrallel Lucas wanted to show was like Leia, Padme had no problem getting down and dirty herself if need be. But it was a pointless parallel because both of their circumstances are different. And Padme being the real Queen automatically removes her from the action. Forcing the issue just didn’t sit right with the film.
George Lucas in writing the prequel stories made the fatal miss step that many writers even successful ones make which is giving the person with the most power the most freedom to act. Which is not how rank and power works in real life and shouldn’t in fiction. The King or even General is never going to lead his troops into battle. The person who is at the center of power is the furthest removed from the action. Another great film franchise and TV show that makes that mistake famously is Star Trek.
Gene Roddenberry wanted to make a story about the adventures of a star ship crew. He wanted the show to feature characters who had the power to make decisions and make things happen so we follow the captain of the ship around the galaxy as he gets into trouble and has adventures. But centering the show around the captain and the first officers was such a confining mistake that he had to compensate by never allowing the captain, Kirk in the original series, to ever act like a proper captain. So you have episodes where Kirk, Picard, Janeway or whoever are constantly doing common reconnaissance or heading up away teams on dangerous missions. Things no captain or any first officer would be allowed to do. On one hand its understandable as to why it was done that way considering budgeting and cast size but still its a mistake. Lucas does the same thing but his reasoning seems to be closer to not caring how rank and procedure works than anything else (which is why Jar Jar Binks and Han Solo are given a General’s position with command power in their films even though they really did nothing to deserve it). So we end up with Padme Amidala, an activist Queen who is constantly getting into gun fights.
Because Anakin was a small child with nothing much to do, the first film spends most of its time following Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn around, then we see what the Viceroy is doing, the Gunguns, Palpatine and Queen Amidala/Padme. We spend so much time with all these other people it’s easy to forget that this is supposed to be ANAKIN’S STORY. And even in the other films we’re dealing with senate meetings and long scenes of expositions with other Jedi/Sith characters and lets not get into the detour with Jango Fett which was totally pointless and lightsaber fight scenes…God, so many lightsaber fight scenes.
What Lucas is that the Star Wars nine episode series is about the Skywalker clan. That’s it. That’s who we focus on, that’s who we follow. No Skywalker, no care! Lucas himself established this pattern and theme with 4, 5, and 6. When A New Hope starts off we see Vader and Leia, then we go to Luke, then back to Leia, then Luke again, some stuff with Vader and back to Leia and so it goes. That’s it. We see the same pattern in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. All the major points of all the films deal with a Skywalker.
If Lucas had paced 4, 5, and 6 the way he did 1, 2 and 3 then we would have seen long scenes with Grand Moff Tarkin and Ben Kenobi and Owen Lars. There would have been drawn out side stories with Greedo and Jabba the Hutt (actually there was one with Jabba that Lucas originally cut from the original Star Wars film then re-inserted in the later, tinkered with, extended versions but it doesn’t enhance the story one bit.). Boba Fett would have taken up a third of the last two films alone. And while we’re talking about “the Fett”, Stop riding his jock already!!! Boba Fett was a one off character who had little effect on the story and DIED in Return Of The Jedi…yes he died, he was supposed to, you know why, because he’s just a side character!
I get it, Boba Fett is cool looking, with the helmet and the gear and jet pack, I totally get it, believe me. He’s a space bounty hunter for cryin’ out loud! If man ever colonizes space, I guarantee you there will be a line around the corner for intergalactic bounty hunter and I’ll be at the head of it. I even had the classic Boba Fett poster as a kid. So yes Boba Fett is the man. But that doesn’t negate the fact that he was just a side character. His fanboy popularity is the reason Lucas shoehorned him into the prequels and even in that its pretty clear his presence is even more marginal than it was in 4 and 5. Every fan fiction story has Fett surviving the Sarlacc Pit and its so much bullshit. And I can only HOPE they don’t do a Boba Fett stand alone story!
I could go on forever about all the mistakes and bad turns 1, 2 and 3 made but rather than do that lets go into how they should have gone so that the prequels dovetail more smoothly into the next episodes. Keeping in line with how 4,5, and 6 went and how they focused purely on a Skywalker and the person most directly involved with them, my version of the prequels does this.
In doing my version, the most difficult aspect I encountered was showing Anakin’s rise and fall and properly stretching it out over three episodes. In episodes 4,5,6 there were three story arcs that ran concurrently but in and of themselves were pretty straight forward. Luke had the hero’s journey, Leia had the rebellion and Vader had straight villainy. In all of that there was no real conflict for the individuals. Luke goal was to be a Jedi, Leia’s to win the war and Vader to destroy the Rebels and turn his son into a Sith. Anakin, on the other hand, is the major focus so his journey is becoming a Jedi, faltering and turning into a Sith and that has to be laid out equally for each episode. The problem I kept running into was even though I was trying to shift focus to the proper character and change certain aspects of the stories, I was still using Lucas’s character more or less the same way he did and pacing and plotting was very similar. The result was by the third episode I would have a number of sub plots that needed resolution and Episode Three would become a jumbled mess that was more than twice as long as the first two.
And then it hit me. Is it necessary to follow the way or all the characters Lucas used to tell the stories? Is it necessary to know exactly the cause of the civil war? All of the background information we know about the Star Wars universe comes from the novels, what makes that the only way to tell these stories? Even though George Lucas okayed the information in the novels and comics he didn’t have that as a resource for 4,5,6, and since those are the works most beloved, I’m going to base my version of 1,2,3 only on the information from the second trilogy.
I’m not changing the underlying conflict between the Separatists and the Galactic Republic or the blockade of Naboo, I’m just de-emphasizing them in favor of watching Anakin become a Jedi.
It occurred to me that of all six films we only saw one Jedi training session and that was Yoda training Luke on Dagobah in ESB. There was one brief thing Obi-Wan did with Luke in ANH with a helmet and light saber but that was just a few seconds. There has never been a formal training sequence. Well here it is. A good portion of this first film will deal with Anakin’s training and rise as a Jedi Padawan as it should have all along.
In trying to closely adhere to the original trilogy’s style and pacing, it became apparent that Lucas was using the old 1950’s matinee style of telling this story. Which consisted of a lot of “wipe” transitions and a story line that was continuously forward moving. There are no flashbacks, jump ahead, narration, exposition or any other devices normally used today to tell a story. The only thing close that could fill in details would be the opening crawl and once that’s over its off to the races. I found it a bit confining way to tell a story personally but that’s how the saga goes. Telling the story in a different way just isn’t “Star Wars”.
Here’s my idea of the prequels redone:
Star Wars prequels rewritten treatment - The Phantom Menace - http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Star-Wars-Prequels-rewritten-The-Phantom-Menace/id/16971
Star Wars prequels rewritten treatment - Enter The Clones -http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Star-Wars-Prequels-rewritten-Enter-The-Clones/id/17141
Star Wars prequels rewritten treatment - Rise Of The Dark Lord - http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Star-Wars-Prequels-rewritten-Rise-Of-The-Dark-Lord/id/17391
I rewrote the PT as fan fiction making the changes I would have liked to seen you can check em out here:
Star Wars prequels rewritten treatment - The Phantom Menace - http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Star-Wars-Prequels-rewritten-The-Phantom-Menace/id/16971
Star Wars prequels rewritten treatment - Enter The Clones -http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Star-Wars-Prequels-rewritten-Enter-The-Clones/id/17141
Star Wars prequels rewritten treatment - Rise Of The Dark Lord - http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Star-Wars-Prequels-rewritten-Rise-Of-The-Dark-Lord/id/17391
But I was having such difficulty in fitting everything into a trilogy that I had to add another story (Revenge of the Sith was going to be re-written but I got sidetracked and never got back to it). In trying to closely adhere to the original trilogy’s style and pacing, it became apparent that Lucas was using the old 1950’s matinee style of telling this story. Which consisted of a lot of “wipe” transitions and a story line that was continuously forward moving. There are no flashbacks, jump ahead, narration, exposition or any other devices normally used today to tell a story. The only thing close that could fill in details would be the opening crawl and once that’s over its off to the races. I found it a bit confining way to tell a story personally but that’s how the saga goes. IMO telling the story in a different way just isn’t “Star Wars”.
Have any of you guys had issues in trying to tell a Star Wars story while staying within the structure of how the OT stories were done??
anymore feedback?
I didn’t like that R2D2 was powered down because he was depressed about Luke going into exile…then wakes up suddenly for no apparent reason…
If they wanted a dramatic emotional push to his part in the story then they could have said R2 was severely damaged on a mission and since he is over 50 years old (he was Padme’s droid 20 years before Leia) those parts are impossible to get for his series of astromech. But since he has such sentimental value to Leia she couldn’t just get rid of him so they put a tarp over him until they can figure out how to fix him if its possible. That was over 30 years ago. All of this explained by C3PO. Then we see BB-8 go over to him and is blown away because this is R2D2! THE R2D2 who helped take down TWO Death Stars and saved Princess, now General Leia’s life on many occasions. This guy is a LEGEND among droids particularly the astromechs. This is his freakin hero and he has GOT to fix this dude! He makes an attempt then blips and bloops at him and nothing happens but a lone blinking light…sad, BB-8 rolls away and we cut to the rest of the flick, Han dies, the Death Star implodes and back at home base R2 comes back online! Turns out he has the map of the jedi temples from the last time he was on the Death Star and BB-8 has the missing piece and YAY!! We can find Luke now!
I always imagined that Force powers was like being a muscian or a martial artist..anyone can play chopsticks or throw a punch or kick but only a few can be beethoven or bruce lee.
Being a jedi knight IMO just meant that those people had dedication and a gift much like jimi hendrix who literally slept with his guitar which meant he practiced ALOT and had a gift of music as he was self taught.
No one says that chopin had bacteria in his blood and thats why he did what he did musically so why not that kind of thing for jedis??
The Star Wars OT is about the Skywalker clan. That's it. That's who we focused on, that's who we followed. Lucas himself established this pattern with A New Hope which starts off with Vader and Leia, then we go to Luke, then back to Leia, then Luke again, some stuff with Vader and back to Leia and so it goes. Thats it. We see the same pattern in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. All the major points of all the films deal with a Skywalker. So the PT dealing with Luke traveling back into time to see his father fits into that pattern so it should work as long as its not too hokey.
What could have made the PT better? Greater focus on Anakin Skywalker..seeing the proper training, chambers, disciplines and philosophy of the Jedi Knights through Anakin's eyes.
Forget the whole immaculate conception thing and the whole myth of "the one who will bring balance to the Force"..it was not something that was mentioned or even hinted at in the second trilogy and it literally produced groans in the theater when Mace Windu said it. I get the whole fantasy/mythological aspect of the Star Wars stories but that was so cliched it was cringe inducing.
What Lucas forgot and what Abrams needs to remember is that the Star Wars nine episode series is about the Skywalker clan. That's it. That's who we focus on, that's who we follow. No Skywalker, no care! Lucas himself established this pattern and theme with 4, 5, and 6. When A New Hope starts off we see Vader and Leia, then we go to Luke, then back to Leia, then Luke again, some stuff with Vader and back to Leia and so it goes. Thats it. We see the same pattern in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. All the major points of all the films deal with a Skywalker. So the PT should be more focused on Anakin's rise and fall as a Jedi knight. The clone wars should be in the background of that much like the rebel/empire clash was in the background of the OT.
i revamped the pics
added pics to the story..hopefully the visuals will give people a better idea of how I saw it happening.
RicOlie_2 said:
But the whole point would be to throw people off a bit. Rather than ruining the reveal in Episode V, the idea is that it might even be more shocking to find out who Vader is if we have been mislead (though there would be clues along the way, and foreshadowing, but not obvious enough that one could easily figure it out).
EDIT: And the point would not be to confuse people, but to mislead them, until they have a moment of "now everything makes sense--I can't believe I didn't figure this out before" after the surprise of the reveal in ESB.
that would only work if we never saw 4,5,6 first... thats why I asked are you talking about showing the six movies in chronological order...becuz then you can do what your talking about in terms of misleading the audience.
But if we've seen 4,5,6 first then we KNOW vader is lukes father, vader and obiwan had a falling out, luke and leia are siblings. vader is anakin skywalker. So knowing that if you show 1,2,3 and focus on a bunch of people who ultimately have no direct impact on those points listed yet get all kinds of focus and attention it would ultimately lead the audience into thinking "wha??" The function of a prequel isn't some much what happened but how it happened.
RicOlie_2 said:
Please share your ideas here as well. I'm curious to see what people can come up with. There are naysayers who disagree that the movies could be any good without spoilers for the OT, but I think that if the PT was done vastly differently than it was, it could have been pulled off.
unless youre talking about showing the films in chronological order theres no real way to do prequels without spoilers. Not showing how things progressed from point A to point B by putting in red herrings and bait and switch things knowing what point B is would just be confusing people unnecessarily.
Wannabe Scholar said:
I do get where you're coming from, but the idea would be really difficult. Having Anakin as the focus would mean trying to go into his thoughts and progression as we seen it for Luke. That wouldn't be bad if we weren't trying to hide any spoilers. For Luke, we saw him deal with the temptations of the Dark Side and fight for the Rebel Alliance. With Anakin as the main character, we need to see the opposite of Luke. We need to see his progression to the Dark Side and the choices he makes to become Darth Vader.
Obi-Wan as the focus would allow us to see Anakin's fall without revealing anything. Anakin would still be a major character and we could still see hints of the Dark Side in Anakin. It would be more like seeing the fall of Camelot and King Arthur through the eyes of Merlin (which was actually done in the BBC "Merlin" series).
If there is a way to show Anakin's fall and not spoil anything, then I'd use it. Until then, Obi-Wan is the best option for a situation like this.
As far as reveals and spoilers theres nothing to spoil we know whats going to happen we just need to HOW that happens. You ever watch a movie that shows you the end first then the rest of the movie is how that character ended up like that..is it any less compelling becuz you already know the end in the first 5 minutes?
IMO lucas' execution of how he showed anakins fall to the dark side was flawed. Starting with anakin being too young when we first see him..he literally has nothing much to do and wins a battle by accident. Too much fanservice..was it necessary to see who boba fetts father was and chewbacca knew yoda?? Too much focus on the politics that lead to the clone war.. did we really need to sit thru congressional speeches?
If you have time read the three stories I've posted in succession..I focus primarily on anakin in all three stories. Of any of the critiques (and you posted in 2..one in clones and one in dark lord again thank you very much) none were you should have shown obi-wan more. You complimented me on how well I depicted anakins conflict in Rise of the Dark Lord.
I'm just saying because of the way lucas set things up in the OT the whole star wars 9 episode stories became the Skywalker saga for better for worse. Becus of that A Skywalker has to be front and center in each trilogy part. Considering that theyre producing all these other stories and movies in the star wars universe in the coming years I wouldn't be surprised if they packaged the 9 episode box set as "The Skywalker Saga".
thanx for the suggestions but I have a work around for the next story ROTS that should logically work (hopefully..lol)
Mrebo said:
nic777 said:
Putting Obi-Wan as the focus of the PT means an abrupt shift by ep4. Because ANH is Luke's journey and when we find out about the connection to Vader it kinda makes me wonder why we would be looking at Obi-Wan so much in the PT since the real story is turning out to be the destiny of the Skywalker family.
The OT was a story about a set of heroes and Luke played the central role. Vader only mattered as a Skywalker because of his late-revealed connection to Luke. Lucas retconned the series as the story of Anakin and by extension Luke. It doesn't need to be seen this way...
No doubt Anakin is an important character (because of his relation to Luke) but that doesn't mean he needs to be the hero of the PT. As BlueCardinal says, up until at least the end of ESB, we don't view it as a Skywalker story. With Obi Wan as hero, we see him early in ANH, he passes the torch, and it works really well as a story-telling device.
Nothing wrong with wanting to tell it as a Skywalker story, but it doesn't need to be done that way. There is just nothing abrupt in moving from an Obi Wan centered-tale in the PT, to him meeting the son of his old friend/student in the OT.
Actually it has to be seen that way because lucas made vader lukes father. That twist introduced in Empire makes the OT a skywalker saga in fact it makes as much a story of anakin's redemption as it does lukes hero journey. So to tell a prequel that focuses on someone other than anakin is jarring.
Its like telling the story of hitler's regime (the original shown) then going back to show how he became hitler, nazi leader but focusing on his high school buddy in art class Johann, who got accepted to the art school that rejected hitler himself (the prequel). The next story (the OS) is about the rise of the 3rd reich so why are we looking at johann in the prequel as opposed to adolf himself?
If what youre saying is the case then the sequel trilogy could be about Lando Calrissian's son's journey while the skywalker children are in the background. You think people wouldn't question that?
BlueCardinal said:
I agree with RicOlie_2. Yes, the overarching story is about the Skywalker clan, but remember that we as an audience don't know on the first viewing that all of these characters we are seeing in Ep IV are related. None of us know about the father/son until the end of Empire, and the sister reveal doesn't happen until RotJ. You can make the PT a hero's story about Obi-Wan, but it is redone in a way that makes us learn more and care more about him. You still have Anakin and Padme, and can even show Luke being born. It still follows the Skywalkers, but they're strong secondary characters. This helps preserve the reveals of the OT by allowing us to focus on Obi-Wan, keeping the Skywalkers present throughout, but not connecting all of the dots until Ep V.
Yeah thats how the belated media guys did it but according to those guys, Anakin and Padme don't even start to be attracted to each other until the end of Clones. While they do have a couple of compelling clashes, particularly between Kenobi and Maul, the rest of the story is pretty much talky and too involved with the Republic/Separatist dispute.
Both of their versions of Episodes 1 and 2 videos were done in successive years (2012 and 2013) even though they have posted quite a number of videos since this last one so far, they haven't completed the trilogy. Maybe they're going to do it sometime closer to the Episode 7 premiere, but I kind of doubt it.
I think they've painted themselves in a corner and haven't figured out how they're going to get Anakin and Padme together, Padme pregnant, the children born, the fallout between Obi-Wan and Anakin, Anakin turning to the dark side, Anakin and Palpatine getting together, Padme getting killed, Anakin getting majorly injured enough to need the suit, And do all of that in a two hour movie run time without jamming things together. I say that mainly because if youre trying to closely adhere to the original trilogy's style and pacing, it becomes apparent that Lucas was using the old 1950's matinee style of telling this story. Which consisted of a lot of "wipe" transitions and a storyline that was continuously forward moving. There are no flashbacks, jump ahead, narration, exposition or any other devices normally used today to tell a story. The only thing close that could fill in details would be the opening crawl and once that's over its off to the races. I was having the damnedest time trying to make all that info work in a trilogy myself, that's why my prequels are four movies.
The Phantom Menace, Enter The Clones, Rise of the Dark Lord, Revenge of the Sith...
Putting Obi-Wan as the focus of the PT means an abrupt shift by ep4. Because ANH is Luke's journey and when we find out about the connection to Vader it kinda makes me wonder why we would be looking at Obi-Wan so much in the PT since the real story is turning out to be the destiny of the Skywalker family.
For better or worse the reveals have already been done. The saga of Star Wars is told out of sequence, right..we've seen the middle section first and the beginning second so we know whats coming. At this point knowing what we know, the events of the PT have to logically lead into the events of the OT. Since its established that the OT is Lukes journey/the Skywalker clan destiny you can't make them secondary in the PT..thats essentially making them secondary in their own story. And since Obi-Wan's influence greatly reduces after ANH (other than telling Luke to find Yoda he does nothing else and has no impact in Jedi) why should we care about what his life is about? We should be looking at the world as it pertains to the Skywalkers more directly whichever Skywalker is designated the hero/heroine of that story.
In the PT it should have been Anakin, in the OT its Luke and in the next trilogy it SHOULD be what ever child Luke or Leia has.
RicOlie_2 said:
I'm reposting something I originally posted in this thread:
http://originaltrilogy.com/forum/topic.cfm/Would-it-have-been-possible-to-make-the-PT-in-the-late-90s-early-00s-in-a-way-that-synced-up-with-the-OOT/topic/16670/
Many have said that it would have been impossible to have good prequels without showing the fall of Anakin Skywalker and the rise of Darth Vader, but I disagree. It is true that there would have been less tragedy since we wouldn't know it was Anakin, but here's how I would have liked to see the PT done:
Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi are friends during the first movie. In it, the Republic falls during the Clone Wars and the Empire is formed. We learn details like the fact that Obi-Wan has had previous apprentices (but they are not named). One of Obi-Wan's former apprentices joins the Empire, so we suspect that he is Darth Vader until Episode V. Anakin marries a woman and she becomes pregnant.
In the second installment, Anakin's darkness is hinted at. About halfway through the movie, we discover that someone named Darth Vader is rising up through the ranks of the Imperial Army (or something of the sort). When we get to see Darth Vader, he is cloaked and hooded with his face hidden, so we don't find out who he really is. Anakin's darkness is hinted at throughout the movie (but is never so obvious that we can readily connect Darth Vader with Anakin). Latish in the movie, we see a hooded figure kneeling before a hologram, but we can't see the face of the person in the hologram (since he is the Emperor, and his reveal would be spoiled if his face was shown). We can't see the face of the hooded figure, and his name is not given, but he is instructed to kill Anakin Skywalker. Then comes the volcano battle. Anakin is defeated and killed (or so we are led to believe) by the hooded figure, who is masked throughout the whole thing. The movie ends.
In the third movie, Darth Vader is still hooded and cloaked the same way as before, but he now has a mask that is reminiscent of the mask we see in the OT. Darth Vader begins hunting down the remnants of the Jedi order. At some point, he duels Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan manages to dismember Darth Vader's right arm and escape. He then visits Anakin's wife on Alderaan, who has given birth since the first movie. She entrusts Obi-Wan with the care of her son (she has had twins and doesn't want to give them both up, but we don't learn this until ROTJ). Obi-Wan is by this point the last of the Jedi besides his former master, whom we next see Obi-Wan speaking to on a swamp planet, though his master is hidden from sight. Obi-Wan tells him that Darth Vader's fighting style is familiar. His old master tells him to hide away on a remote planet until the time is right. We see a spaceship heading towards a desert planet and the movie ends.
It could have been done, it just wasn't....
the thing is the Star Wars nine episode saga is about the Skywalker clan. That's it. That's who we focus on, that's who we follow. No Skywalker, no care! Lucas himself established this pattern and theme with 4, 5, and 6. When A New Hope starts off we see Vader and Leia, then we go to Luke, then back to Leia, then Luke again, some stuff with Vader and back to Leia and so it goes. Thats it. We see the same pattern in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. All the major points of all the films deal with a Skywalker. Thats why the OT worked so well becuz it all focused on one point. Doing other stories that change that pretty much makes it not "star wars" in the vein of the OT.
CHRomer said:
I totally agree with Wannabe Scholar, Padme should not die in any episode of the prequels and Organa should have more weight in the prequels.
In any case, once you finish your last episode of your prequels, is there a chance that you make your prequels in script format?
scripting the treatment would mean something like 100 to 120 page feature length script. Thats much more of a commitment to it that I would like to do. I would like to do an animatic version of the treatment very similar to the way the belated media guys did their remake on youtube. That I would be interested in seeing happen.
Wannabe Scholar said:
The story is good. You show Anakin's fall well, dealing with the conflict between him and Obi-Wan as well as his and Padme's relationship.
However, there a concept I was not too sure about. First, Padme giving birth and her death: Luke and Leia being surgically removed from Padme was interesting take, but I thought Padme would survive, go into hiding, and die some years later while taking care of Leia (because Leia talks about her in Return of the Jedi).
Besides that, there is one other thing: Show Bail Organa in the story. Since he's referenced in Leia's message, showing Bail with Obi-Wan would give a nice introduction. We can get a good understanding of his character and show him forming the Rebel Alliance from the former Separists worlds taken in by the Republic.
Other than that, there's nothing else I can say. It is an interesting idea and I can't wait to see the finale.
thanx for reading and the critique. I really hadn't considered Padme surviving altho I did write an alternative story where the kids are 2 year old toddlers that included a scene where the little girl sees her mother in the way Leia described. Here are excerpts of the alternate version:
PLANET ONARISS- OPEN ON ANAKIN, HIS PADAWAN AND OBI-WAN FIGHTING ON THE STREETS OF MINING OF THE PLANET. This is serious and not nearly as jokey and light as the opening battle scene in Episode 3 was. They fight their way to the capital. Obi-Wan and Anakin split up and Master Jedi Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan lead a unit of Clone soldiers to take their objective. Now we're in urban warfare and Anakin's team are engaging the local militia whose working with the droid army, they're barricaded behind the blast door of the capital building. The fighting is intense at the door and from the inside we see the door explode and the clone troopers storm in followed by Anakin who walks over the littered bodies. With both hands he grabs a surviving militia soldier and holds him up in the air by his collar. In the background we see a shocked look on his Padawan face. EXTREME CLOSE UP of Anakin's eyes, the right green, the left blue, as he demands to know where the person in charge is. CUT TO...
NABOO - EXTREME CLOSE UP OF THE EYES OF A 2 YEAR OLD BLONDE BOY. The right green, the left blue. We pull back and see the child is playing with a rag doll. Not too far from him is a dark haired little girl the same age, she looks like a smaller, chubbier version of her mother. She's playing with blocks. In walks Padme with Korin and theyre talking about the civil war and how its affected their planet. Padme's husband, Prince Blaan Dorhaan, contacts her by hologram and they talk about his political business including attending an award ceremony for Anakin Skywalker's heroics in battle on several occasions and that the Prince should be back soon. The way they talk to each other is cordial but its clear she's not in love with him. In fact in signing off he says I love you and she responds matter of factly, "I know". WIPE TO...
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PADME, KORIN AND THE CHILDREN AT THE SPACE PORT. With a contingent of security standing by, Padme kisses her children bye and says that she will meet them on Ziaa in a couple days with their father. Both children give her big hugs and she tells them to mind their nanny. She hugs Korin and tells her that she'll be along directly once she gets a plan into action about retaking Naboo. The kids wave bye at thier mother from the ship's window as it takes off flanked by escort ships. Close up of the little girl waving at her mother as they take off from the landing pad. POV from Tian looking at Padme getting smaller in the distance. The Queen looks very beautiful, kind but sad. WIPE TO...
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SEPARATIST WAR SHIP PARKED NEAR A MOON OF PLANET ZIAA. A younger looking Moff Tarkin is on this ship thats shaped like a cigar. The front end housing a number of laser nodes. This is the prototype to the superlaser seen on the Death Star. A small fleet of Ziaan ships are moving in to intercept the battleship and are met by droid fighters. While thats happening the ship's crew is preparing to fire the super laser. Tarkin has Dooku on hologram prepared to relay the results. They fire the laser and a roiling wave of destruction consumes the surface of Ziaa but the planet itself is not totally obliterated. But all life on planet Ziaa is destroyed. CUT TO:
*Yoda, alone meditating in his chambers, suddenly startled, sensing some huge disturbance in the force.
*Obi-Wan and Mace Windu at the Assembly Hall overseeing the investigation. They both look at each other startled in a "did you feel that?" manner as well.
*The Jedi Knight bodyguard traveling in hyperspace with Padme's children, senses some huge disturbance in the force as well. In the background we see Tian and Quin asleep in their seats, Korin is seated between them reading a tablet. The little boy suddenly cries out in his sleep and Korin rubs his chest to soothe him.
*Anakin, in one of the living quarters near Palpatine's office, senses a huge disturbance and shudders.
*Palpatine in the middle of reading a report suddenly looking up, feeling the disturbance and smiling broadly.
CUT TO Moff Tarkin reporting the results of the devastation in an almost disappointed fashion and Dooku says to keep working at it. WIPE TO...
Their original names were Quin and Tian and those would have been changed to Luke and Leia once they were adopted by the Lars and Organas. But the plothole I ran into was that if the kids were born and grew to toddlers as kids of a popular princess they would be well known almost galaxy wide..certainly known to anakin. And since the oraganas are well known he would have recognized Leia long before any revelation about Luke. It would be like Kate Middleton's kid being adopted by royalty in Denmark or something like that..we'd all know who that kid was.
But the Organas will play heavily in the final part Revenge Of The Sith..rest assured.
SUPREME CHANCELLOR PALPATINE'S PRIVATE HOME - Its a week later and Palpatine is complimenting Anakin on his rapid recovery in such a short time. The two are strolling through his private arboretum and Palpatine is telling Skywalker now that he is free from the constraints of the Jedi Order, it's time for him to reach his full potential. Then he brings up that he's heard that the Order was searching for Sith. Anakin says he killed one. The one who murdered his Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padme Amidala and if there are more he's going to wipe out the whole organization. Palpatine chuckles and says "The Sith isn't an organization. To be a Sith is to be free from the kind of shackles people like the Jedi put on you. You were able to defeat your enemy and take revenge on him because you tapped into the hate you have for him and that passion gave you the edge." Anakin considers this. He goes on, "That creature you killed was a Sith but he was acting on his own accord for his own agenda. Which apparently was chaos. You destroying him was restoring an order we so desperately need."
Anakin stops and looks at the Chancellor. "Youre a Sith, sir?" he asked. Palpatine looks at him with a slight sly smile, "I understand the ways of the Force, yes, but I do not agree with the Jedi Order on how to use it. If they want to call me Sith so be it. But I'm in a position to bring order to the galaxy and with you, young Skywalker, at my side that will happen." Then Palpatine leads the young man to an ornate structure, the door slides open to reveal a room where sits a line up of small shards of crystals lying on a padded bed of satin as well as parts and mechanisms for constructing weapons. {MENACING MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY} Anakin says they're Kyber crystals, like the one he used to construct his light saber after completing his Jedi training. The Sith says he understands Skywalker lost his weapon after his dual so here is his opportunity to create another one. Anakin asks if Palpatine has one and the Sith Lord states that his knowledge of the Force is such that the need for that kind of weapon is not necessary. Then he offers to teach Skywalker the ways of the Sith and the full power of the Dark Side of the Force. Anakin looks down and considers his life up to that point and sees only things he's lost. With nothing more to lose he answers yes, he will submit to the teachings of the Sith. Skywalker is told to kneel and recite this creed:
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
Smiling broadly Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, Dark Lord of the Sith tells his apprentice, "The Force is strong with you. You will become a powerful Sith." {ECHOES OF VADER'S THEME PLAY HERE} WIPE TO...
THE FINAL MONTAGE - (SAD MUSIC PLAYS OVER):
* We see the aftermath of the Battle of Coruscant. The city bears many scars of the battle and many buildings are still smoking. The Jedi Temple is significantly damaged. The Supreme Chancellor, on a jumbo video screen delivers an angry speech to the citizens placing blame on the Jedi Order for their failure to prevent the attack. We see clone troopers marching down the streets of the capital city as Marshall Law is proclaimed. We see a shot of the private funeral service for Padme and Blaan attended by Korin, Obi-Wan, Mace Windu and Yoda and small gathering of Naboo and Ziaa citizens. On Naboo we see Newt Gunray and Trade Federation officials administering over the citizens of the invaded planet. We move around planet Ziaa whose surface now looks like the dark side of the Moon as its cratered, grey and lifeless.
* We see Korin hand over the infant girl to Breha Organa who smiles as she embraces the child and says she will name her Leia. The Organa family crowds around the infant in a welcoming fashion and Korin takes her place with the nursing staff.
* Obi-Wan arrives at Falin Skywalker's home. Falin is an older man (think Mickey Rourke) whose home looks like some kind of futuristic bachelor pad. He takes in his infant grand nephew, still a bit overwhelmed at this new development, he looks at the little child in his arms and says when his wife was pregnant with his son they had decided on a name for the boy but they both died at childbirth, The infant reaches up and grabs his nose. Falin, smiling, says "My, my, Luke Skywalker, you have a strong grip..don't you..."
* We see a phalanx of one hundred clone troopers who are at attention. {MUSIC SWELLS LOUDER}They are presenting themselves to the Supreme Chancellor in a military parade as more forces for the Grand Army of the Republic gather for the coming battles. Palpatine looks over the troops with an evil smile and waves. We see the pristine rows of soldiers snap from attention to present arms stance with clean precision. Standing in front of them is a figure dressed in black tunic and trousers and black hooded cloak. General Anakin Skywalker. The black breather mask over his nose and mouth contributes to this new sleek and menacing look. Pulling out his light saber hilt from under his cloak and we hear the distinctive swoosh sound of it igniting. CLOSE UP as the red glow of the plasma blade highlights his face.
CUT TO BLACK, END THEME, CREDITS ROLL.
The battle between the Galactic Republic and Confederacy of Independent Systems rages on!
The Grand Army of the Republic is pushing back the Separatists in the Middle Rim Systems. Meanwhile the EVIL SITH have agents on both sides of the conflict and continue their plan to destroy the Jedi Knights and rule the galaxy.
Major Anakin Skywalker leads his troops, the elite 501st Legion, into a desperate battle to retake the Onariss System for the Republic....
PLANET ONARISS - WE MOVE DOWNWARD FROM THE CRAWL TO FOLLOW A TROOP TRANSPORT VESSEL LEADING A DOZEN OTHERS HEADING INTO THE ATMOSPHERE OF A BLUISH-GREEN PLANET. Larger war ships are battling in the space around the planet and we follow a troop transport ship as it descends into the atmosphere. Dressed in a field uniform and black hooded cloak, Major Anakin Skywalker looking a bit older from the stress of war, he has stubble on his scarred face, shouts last minute instructions to his clone troops as the ship navigates through anti aircraft flak on its way to the surface. Walking through the carrier, he sternly pats his troops on the shoulder while making his way to the rear of the ship. Seeing his Padawan standing alone and looking nervous, Skywalker approaches him, gives a stern look and tells him to remember his training, allow the Force to flow through him and to stay close when they reach the surface.
The ships land on the surface of the planet and the troops disembark in a rush. This is urban warfare and the fighting is intense as Republic soldiers clash with Confederacy of Independent Systems (Separatists) forces on the streets of capital city. The clone troopers methodically push the local militia, who is fighting with the droid army, back and take more territory moving toward the capital building. Major Skywalker watches from atop a tank and commands his troops from the rear. The clone troopers finally make they're way to the steps of the capital building and have it surrounded. Inside the building the militia fighters have the huge front doors barricaded. The men take cover in the building waiting for the final attack. Outside, Skywalker's tank rolls up and he and his apprentice step onto the ground. A clone trooper captain steps to him and says they have the area secure and are prepared to execute the final assault on his command. The Jedi surveys the scene and gives a nod.
From inside the building the militia men crouch behind shields prepared for the worst. The huge door explodes and three squads of 501st Legion pour into the breach firing at anything that moves. After an intense exchange of laser fire its over quickly and those not killed are rounded up and taken prisoner. As other clone troopers move to secure the building, Major Skywalker walks into the lobby, his black cloak flows out behind him as he steps over bodies that still litter the area. A squad leader comes to him and gives his report that the building is secure but there is no sign of the militia or Separatist military leaders of this region. The Jedi officer orders the squad leader to prepare a room. Looking over at the POWs, Anakin sees the three highest ranked men in the group, marches over to one and with both hands grabs a surviving militia soldier holding him up in the air by his neck, he demands to know where the Separatist leaders are. In the background we see a shocked look on his Padawan face. CUT TO...
NABOO - ROYAL PALACE In walks a very pregnant Padme with Korin and theyre talking about the civil war and how its affected their planet. Padme's husband, Prince Blaan Dorhaan, contacts her on a small tablet. He asks how she feels and they talk about the war effort. Blaan reassures the Princess that the Ziaan military can protect them from any aggression from the Trade Federation and that additional ships have been stationed in their sector. Blaan asks Padme to come to Curoscant for a visit and he informs her that there is an award ceremony for her former bodyguard Anakin Skywalker. His heroics in battle on several occasions is being recognized and Blaan has it on good authority that Skywalker will be promoted from Major to Colonel. Padme gives an impressed nod to the news and says she'll schedule transportation to the capital planet right away. The way they talk to each other is cordial but its clear she's not in love with him. In fact in signing off he says "I love you" and she responds with a polite smile, "I know". WIPE TO...
ONARISS - COLONEL KENOBI AT BASE CAMP GOING OVER PLANS WHEN ANAKIN'S PADAWAN COMES IN. Skywalker's apprentice tells the Colonel that he's concerned about Master Skywalker's methods. The Padawan states that he witnessed his teacher use Force techniques to extract information from three militia men. Obi-Wan sighs in frustration and tells the apprentice to keep and eye on Anakin and report back if another incident occurs. Kenobi then contacts Yoda and Mace Windu and informs them of this incident. They summon both back to Curoscant partly as a request from the Chancellor who wants to award Skywalker with a medal for his heroism and Obi-Wan is to meet with Palpatine for a new assignment. The Council also want to see the hero Jedi personally. WIPE TO...
MUSTAFAR - COUNT DOOKU IS TALKING TO THE TRADE FEDERATION VICEROY AND GENERAL GRIEVOUS, BOTH ARE ON HOLOGRAM. Grievous gives Dooku progress reports on the battles in the Middle Rim systems and the Count says Palpatine is working on a plan to spread Republic Forces so that Curoscant is exposed to CIS forces and tells Grievous that he should have a fleet ready to move when the signal is given. Grievous signs off. Admiral Tarkin pops up and says the proto-type for the super weapon laser system is ready for live fire testing, at that moment Dooku is notified of an urgent message. Newt Gunray, the Viceroy of the Trade Federation pops up and says that he's gathering his troops to go back to Naboo but Ziaan forces have the planet well protected. Dooku says he'll direct additional CIS ships to back up his forces. Gunray signs off. Then a thought occurs to the Count, he turns to Tarkin and says that the Ziaan home world would be a perfect target for the live fire test. The Admiral agrees and says when they're in range he'll contact him with the results. WIPE TO...
ANAKIN AND HIS APPRENTICE ARRIVE ON CUROSCANT THE NEXT DAY. Walking through the space port he runs into Padme with Korin along with a small contingent of Naboo security and her Jedi guard. Anakin says she looks beautiful. The Princess looks at the Jedi Knight who has scars on his face and cybernetic arms and she quickly searches for something positive to say and congratulates him for the honor he's about to receive. She says theyre in town visiting with her husband on business. Anakin asks her if they can talk in private and Padme, looking reluctant, tells Korin to check out some gift possibilities for her mother and the hand maiden leaves. Anakin tells his Padawan to stand guard with Padme's Jedi guard a distance away The two step to an alcove space away from the foot traffic of the space port. The security team busy themselves visually scanning the area.
Out of ear shot, Anakin tells her he still loves her and can't stop thinking about her. We see the hurt in her eyes as she tells him that she can't be with him. He says he understands why she married Dorhaan but that he could protect her. She says its not about her but her people, Anakin cuts her off and says he's more powerful in the Force now, even more so than Obi-Wan, and with his rank and pull within the Republic Forces he can protect Naboo better than Dorhaan. Getting more emotional, Anakin looks at her pregnant belly and says that should be his child. Padme looks at him with a bit of shock. He continues and says that Dorhaan can't love her the way he does. The Princess takes a step back. Sensing the heightened emotional state from Skywalker, his apprentice turns to look at the couple. Her Jedi guard takes a step toward them. No mind-trick here, the battle hardened war veteran gives a brief intimidating you-really-don't-want-to-fuck-with-me-right-now stare at the clean cut recently graduated from the Academy guard and he steps back. The Padawan turns and looks away. Composing himself, Anakin says he knows she still loves him and that deep down they should be together. Padme doesn't reply but looks torn. Anakin says he'll win her back, steps back and gives a respectful bow to the Princess. They part. WIPE TO...
OBI-WAN MEETING WITH THE CHANCELLOR LATER IN THE EVENING. The meeting is to discuss tactical issues in defending the Middle Rim planets in the Republic from Separatists incursion. Essentially the Chancellor wants to promote Obi-Wan with greater command responsibility in the region and make him a General. Palpatine says that Kenobi was recommended by the Jedi Council as the best person for the job. Kenobi says he'll do his best. Leaving the meeting Obi-Wan runs into Blaan and Padme on their way out. The Prince says they were going to dinner. In the middle of small talk, Blaan says he forgot something in the office and leaves to get it and Obi-Wan and Padme talk where she mentions going back to Naboo to visit her mother the Queen. She also mentions seeing Anakin and she's concerned about him and Obi-Wan says the war has been hard on all of us but Anakin will work through his issues and be alright. The new General says if she ever needs anything he's at her beck and call. Feeling a bit relieved the Princess says she's grateful for his friendship. Her husband comes back and the couple and officer part ways. WIPE TO...
AWARD CEREMONY FOR ANAKIN THE NEXT MORNING. We come in at the end of the ceremony where Skywalker has received his medal and promotion to Colonel. Kenobi and he are talking when Palpatine steps in and heaps much praise on the awardee. The Chancellor then says he has a good FEELING about the Jedi hero. Palpatine then says before he leaves he must introduce Anakin to someone he should meet. Waving him over, the Chancellor presents to Skywalker Blaan Dorhaan the Prince of Ziaa, who is on the Republic War Council. Blaan happily greets the Jedi who feigns a smile as he recognizes Padme's husband. Blaan says he'd love to get Anakin's input on the war effort from a front line POV and they should set a time to talk. Skywalker says he'll make that happen. As Dorhaan walks away the Colonel looks at him coldly before turning to engage with another admirer. WIPE TO....
ANAKIN STANDING BEFORE THE JEDI COUNCIL. Mace Windu says theyve been hearing about some disturbing things concerning the new Colonel's methods on the battle front and he needs to explain his conduct. Anakin says he's just doing his job and winning the war. "What happened on Onariss?" asks Master Ki-Adi-Mundi getting down to business. "I executed the plan drawn up by Master Kenobi and myself to re-establish a controlling presence in the system by advancing on the capital city." Skywalker reports.
Another Council member asks about more details of the battle specifically what happened once they reached the Capital building and Anakin replies about how the fighting went but avoids certain details about what happened once they reached the building. Windu, tired of the semantics game interjects: "Colonel Skywalker, did you torture captured soldiers on this mission?" Looking the elder Master Jedi in the eyes, Skywalker says, "I obtained vital information from the prisoners after questioning and as a result was able to track down the Separatist leaders of that sector. The objective was achieved and the Onariss system is secure for the Republic." Quiet for most of the meeting, Grandmaster Yoda finally breaks his silence. "Disappointed in you I am. Better than this, you are. Determine the path you choose, your methods will." Anakin replies, "With all due respect Master Yoda, we're losing this war. The only way I can see for the Republic to stay viable is through strength, A greater show of force. The Jedi Order can do and be so much more in this galaxy if we just show them the proper way." Windu, probing, asks if the proper way is torture? Anakin, standing his ground on doing whats necessary to achieve ones objective. repeats that he was given a mission and achieved results.
Looking down in deep reflection the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order continues, "Not long ago began your journey did you. Been asked to do much, you have. Taking a toll on your spirit, the war is." Master Windu says with authority, "In regards to your service to the Republic and your status as a master in the Jedi Order, we find that your conduct is troubling at the very least." Windu says Skywalker's Padawan will be reassigned and Anakin is ordered out of the field for a period of time so that he can enter into meditation to settle his emotions and thoughts. The Jedi Knight acknowledges the reprimand and says he'll endeavor to live up to the standards and precepts of the Order. After he exits the room Master Windu asks Yoda if he felt the growing turmoil in the man. Yoda says wearily "Great, Skywalker's struggle is. Hmm. To a dark place this line of thought will carry him. Great care he must take. But good in him there is. Resist the Dark Side on his own, he must. Yes, hmmm." WIPE TO...
SPACEPORT - PADME AND KORIN ARE LEAVING FOR NABOO. Prince Blaan is seeing them off and making small talk with Padme. She says she'll stay with her mother the Queen for a couple of weeks then visit with his parents on Ziaa to set up plans for the birthing ceremony. Blaan is genuine in his affection for his wife and for the first time we see Padme start to warm up to him. He goes to kiss her goodbye and she kisses him back...with feeling. The ship departs and we see the Princess wave bye to the husband. WIPE TO...
ANAKIN IN HIS APARTMENT MEDITATING. In the lotus position he's in deep concentration and levitating a few inches off the ground. We MOVE IN on his face and see scenes of action flash and flicker, these as his dreams and premonitions appear to him again. Once again the images are Padme smiling then screaming/Obi-Wan screaming "ANAKIN NO!"/Blaan falling away into an abyss/a demon moving to hit him and a blinding flash of light pass before him. Anakin is hyperventilating as these images play faster and are superimposed over each other. It's all a jumbled blur and he wakes up and falls to the ground with a look of horror. Going to a sink in his room he splashes cold water on his face. The Jedi looks at himself in the mirror going over the scars on his face then looks at his cybernetic right hand. Its clenched into a tight fist and trembling. WIPE TO...
PALPATINE ON HOLOGRAM WITH THE JEDI COUNCIL. Obi-Wan is in attendance and seated on the council as they give the Chancellor an update on the war in various regions. Palpatine then says he heard that Colonel Skywalker wasn't back to his position on the war front. General Kenobi says that Anakin is taking a break from his duties for a bit to recharge from leading such an aggressive campaign in the Middle Rim. The Chancellor says that Colonel Skywalker's successes in that region is exactly the kind of action and progress the Republic needs to win the war and because of that he wishes to place the Jedi on the War Council. Master Windu objects stating that General Kenobi is already on the council and defends his record and performance but Palpatine says the appointment isn't to replace the General but in addition to, that Skywalker will inject much needed new blood and new way of thinking on the Council and invokes his executive order on the authority of the emergency war powers the senate granted him as Supreme Chancellor which includes direct authority over the Jedi High Council. He says in closing that he expects to see Colonel Skywalker at the next War Council session.
After the meeting the Jedi Masters all confer and agree that Palpatine's actions and the power he wields are a direct threat to the democracy of the Republic and upon the conclusion of the war their first order of business is to make sure he relinquishes the title of Supreme Chancellor. WIPE TO...
TRADE FEDERATION WARSHIPS AND PLANET ZIAA'S WARSHIPS IN HEATED BATTLE OVER NABOO. Its an invasion by the separatist faction but Naboo's alliance with Ziaa brings their armada into the fray. On the surface there is pandemonium as invasion ships are landing and are engaged by Naboo security forces. At the palace, people are scrambling to evacuate the place. Padme and Korin and a protocol droid (not C3PO) bringing up the rear are quickly being escorted by her Royal security team and Jedi bodyguard to an escape ship. Korin says she thought Padme marrying Blaan was going to prevent this kind of thing. Padme says she thought so too. They're about to board the official transport when the head of the Royal Naboo Security Forces reports that the ships carrying the Prime Minister and Queen Amidala have been attacked and shot down. They decide the best way for Padme, the new Queen, to escape is to smuggle her out. The officer in charge of security says he knows a way off the planet. CUT TOO...
THE WAR COUNCIL MEETING WITH THE CHANCELLOR. Anakin, personally invited to session by the Supreme Chancellor himself, is seated near Palpatine. Sitting on the far side of the table is General Kenobi. In the middle of the meeting news arrives of the attack and fall of Naboo. The report announces the Queen and Prime Minister were killed trying to evacuate but there is no news on new Queen Padme Amidala's status. No one knows if she got out or not. Anakin immediately perks up catching the eye of Palpatine. Prince Blaan gets up and excuses himself from the meeting leaving the room quickly followed by Kenobi. There's chatter in the room as the politicians talk among themselves. Outwardly Anakin looks calm and professional. Emotionally he's losing it and Palpatine, chatting with a senator seated next to him, glances at the Jedi as he can sense his intense fear and frustration. CUT TO...
NABOO - PADME AND FAMILY ARRIVING BY HOVERCRAFT TO AN ABANDONED DOCKING FACILITY. In the distance we can hear and see the invasion raging. There they are met by a shady looking man standing in front of his beat up star ship. The security officer introduces him as a smuggler named Garris Shrike who agrees to get the new Queen off planet for an incredible fee. The officer, disgusted with the mercenary tactic, moves to shoot the smuggler when Padme steps up and orders him to stop. She then steps to Shrike and says that he can have his fee. The deal agreed, Padme, Korin, the droid, two members of the Royal Security team and the Jedi board the ship. CUT TO...
CUROSCANT - THE SECURITY COUNCIL CONFERENCE ROOM. Palpatine talks to Anakin about the situation on Naboo. Anakin just listens. Palpatine asks if there is someone special to him there and Anakin says yes. The Chancellor then tells the Jedi he has permission to intervene in the Naboo invasion and to use a hyperspace lane that would get them to the Naboo system much faster. Anakin gives him a heartfelt thanks and the Chancellor intently watches Skywalker as he leaves the conference room quickly.
Obi-Wan steps out of the Situation Room and sees Anakin hurriedly leaving the building. Catching up to the Colonel, the General asks where he's going. Anakin says they need to go to Naboo to make sure Padme is safe. Kenobi tries to sympathize but says they have their assignments and that the Ziaans have that responsibility. Obi-Wan says that he knows how much he's infatuated with Padme but he reminds Skywalker that Amidala is a married woman. Anakin blanches in anger at his friend then says that he has permission from the Supreme Chancellor to intervene and if Kenobi wants to stop him then he has to shoot him. The General watches stunned as his subordinate turns his back and briskly walks out of the building. WIPE TO...
NABOO - SHRIKES SHIP. With the precious cargo aboard and hidden in the secret compartments, they leave orbit and a unit of Separatist droid fighters surround the ship and demand to board. Garris lands on a Droid Control Ship and allows them on board to scan the vessel. As the droids walk through the ship, inside the secret compartments, we see Padme in one very claustrophobic sized cabin and Korin is in another trying to suppress a cough after dust blew up in her face from the dusty compartment door slamming shut.
Inside Padme's compartment, she spots a blaster on the wall and picks it up. We can hear the clunk of metal on metal as the droids walk near and stop at her compartment. Padme protectively puts her left hand on her belly and moves her index finger on the trigger of the blaster in her right hand. She doesn't realize she's holding her breath. In her compartment, Korin is turning red holding in the reflex to cough. Shrike fast talks his way through the inspection while producing fake credentials showing him to be a CIS (the Separatists) sympathizer. Just as they're about to give the all clear, Korin coughs, the droids stop and Shrike, quick drawing his weapon, starts blasting droids and shoots his way out of the Control ship.
Now in open space a wild chase ensues. Padme, Korin and others emerge from their compartments to witness Shrike flying like a mad man dodging fire from the droid fighters that are closing in. The smuggler tries a few times to jump to hyperspace but the hyper-drive system fails. One of the security team members offers to fly the ship so Shrike can fix the problem and they exchange positions. While he works frantically to repair the hyper-drive, everyone is jostled about as the ship takes damaging hits on its quickly diminishing shields. The squadron of droid fighters position themselves for one final strike on the smuggler's ship when Anakin and a squadron of clone fighters arrive out of hyperspace. Contacting the fleeing starship, he's told the new Queen is on board and request assistance. Anakin acknowledges and the Republic forces immediately engage the droid fighters. A spectacular dog fight follows with Anakin executing superior flying skills and taking out a number of droid ships himself. The clones destroy the rest just as Shrike announces he's fixed the hyper-drive system. The smuggler ship carrying the Queen as well as Anakin and the clones all slip into hyperspace before more droid fighters arrive. WIPE TO...
NABOO REFUGEES ARE ARRIVING AT CUROSCANT SPACEPORT. Evening is falling upon the Capital City and some of the Naboo refugees are coming into the space port and families are reunited. At the VIP section of the port lands the beat up space freighter with Anakin and the clone security surrounding it. Once on the ground, out comes Korin and the droid. They're quickly followed by Padme with her Jedi guard and Naboo security. Skywalker pops the cockpit of his fighter, jumps to the ground and briskly walks toward Padme when Prince Blaan, who was standing by, rushes in to hug his wife. Blaan's back is to Anakin and Padme opens her eyes to see him standing a distance away looking at her. Still hugging her husband she looks at the Jedi and silently mouths the words "thank-you". A distance away from Anakin a small spy droid is watching him. From the droid's POV we see it focus on Anakin then on what he's looking at...Padme hugging and kissing Prince Blaan. In his office, Palpatine watches the secure feed of this on a tablet and smiles at the discovery of the Jedi's affections. Turning off the display he calls his assistant in and tells her to keep him informed on Queen Amidala's whereabouts and movements. The reunited couple is quickly hustled away under heavy security. Obi-Wan, who was also waiting at the platform, is talking to the smuggler who is demanding payment for his delivery of the Queen. Anakin stands alone, watching from a distance the married couple leave the port area. WIPE TO...
CUROSCANT - ANAKIN IN PALPATINE'S OFFICE. Its a few days later and Anakin is in a private meeting with the Chancellor. He just lightly debates the Jedi on doing the wrong thing for the right reasons and how a selfish act can sometimes lead to a greater good overall. Ideals that connect with Anakin's goal of getting Padme back. The Chancellor says he has some business he has to attend to and he dismisses Anakin with a cheery smile and the last words, "you have great potential ahead of you, Skywalker, you just have to remove the obstacles in front of you.." After the Jedi leaves, he opens a secure hologram of Darth Maul who pops up and Palpatine tells him to prepare a special mission involving the Capitol world of Coruscant. WIPE TO...
BLAAN SPOTTING ANAKIN IN THE ASSEMBLY HALL AS THEY AWAIT PALPATINES STATE OF THE REPUBLIC ADDRESS. Bright and early the next morning and the two step into an elevator of the glass building with a few other politicians and on the ride up Blaan says he would like to thank the Jedi once again for saving his wife and Anakin humbly says he just saw his duty and done it. Turning to business, the Prince asks Anakin if he has some time after the address to go over some details of the war effort in the Outer Rim and Anakin agrees. They step onto a floor 80 stories up and take their seats, behind them is a large glass window, we see the nonstop floating traffic. In the great hall is a large video display of the Chancellor giving his address to the politicians and potentates in attendance. His speech is about winning the war and there are frequent rousing applause. Obi-Wan is one floor up in a room with other military officers. He's sitting near a large glass window himself and looking out with small binoculars he sees Anakin sitting near Blaan one floor below. CUT TO...
PADME AND KORIN AT THE SPACE PORT. The Queen sees her personal assistant and best friend off at the space port. They discuss Korin overseeing the setting up of the birthing ceremony on Ziaa and she tries to console Padme about Naboo Padme says she'll be along in a few days, she wants to start the process of retaking her planet while she's here and the senate is in session. They hug and the handmaiden departs. WIPE TO...
THE ASSEMBLY HALL - PALPATINES STATE OF THE REPUBLIC ADDRESS. The Chancellor is thundering away in his rousing speech when suddenly an explosion rocks the building and the windows are shattered. The concussion of the explosion causes bodies to fly all over the place and Prince Blaan flies out the window. At the last second, Anakin grabs his wrist as he's hanging out of the opening, debris is flying all over. On the floor above, Obi-Wan, still woozy and nose bleeding from the concussion of the bomb, drags himself to the window frame on his floor and peers through the dust and debris at the floor below him to see if he can spot Anakin. He sees his friend hanging out of the window frame holding on to someone. Looking through his binoculars he sees its Prince Blaan hanging by his wrist in Anakin's gloved cybernetic hand. There are bodies on the floor behind them and no one has gotten to him yet. Its eerily silent and still as the dust settles . Anakin has Blaan firmly in his grasp and begins to pull him up when he stops. The Prince, whose ears are bleeding and has cuts and bruises on his face, looks up at Skywalker and sees the emotion drain from the Jedi's face. Obi-Wan, now magnifying his binoculars to see closer up, sees the Jedi stop pulling the Prince up, holding in him in place. Skywalker, staring directly into Blaan's eyes, opens his hand and releases him. Obi-Wan screams "ANAKIN NO!!" and he reflexively tries to Force levitate the falling man but, still too dazed, can't do it and we see the Prince plummet eighty stories. Summoning all of his might Kenobi dashes through the crowd to get to the floor below him. Anakin pulls himself back on the floor and runs over the dead and injured for the exit. The two Jedi Knights see each other in the hallway. Kenobi calls out to Skywalker who runs to the floor exit and the chase is on. CUT TO...
PADME IN A HOVER VEHICLE ARRIVING AT THE ASSEMBLY HALL. She's stepping out of the vehicle just as all hell is breaking loose. She looks at the Assembly hall building and its heavily damaged and smoke is pouring from it. Security moves to get her back in the vehicle and she yells "My husband is in there!" Security reassure her they will check into it once she's secure and the caravan leaves the scene quickly. CUT TO...
THE ASSEMBLY HALL LOWER LEVEL. We're in an area that's been evacuated. There are major cracks in the walls and column positions are shifted off their base here. Running through the floor Obi-Wan calls out for Anakin to stop. The renegade Jedi does and turns around to face his former master. Face to face, Kenobi asks why Anakin did what he did. Skywalker doesn't answer the question but calmly says that his former master is bleeding and should seek medical attention. Kenobi demands an answer and Anakin says coldly "Dorhaan was weak. He didn't deserve her." His voice rising in anger he continues, "He couldn't save her. I could. I DID!" Obi-Wan tells him that he can't let him go and that the Jedi Council will- Anakin cuts him off and reveals his true his true feelings about the Jedi Order saying, "I no longer care what the Jedi Council will do! They're all old men and the Order is weak! They couldn't stop the war from happening and the way they're fighting it is ineffective. The only way to win a fight is by using all of your strength. Going where your enemy isn't willing. Doing what needs to be done. I'm now seeing that the Jedi Order isn't prepared to do that."
Obi-Wan tells him that he's expressing Dark Side philosophy. Anakin says the only times he's truly felt powerful and effective was when he used the Force to its full potential and recounts the information he got from the separatist terror suspect on Kiiron and the information he got from torture during the skirmish on Onariss. Skywalker states that he was given commendations for the battles he's won and that's only because he used the Force in ways the Jedi never would.
Obi-Wan, near tears and pleading with his eyes, apologizes for his apparent failure in teaching his former apprentice the ways of the Jedi Knights. Kenobi reaches for his light saber and ignites it. Taking a breath, he declares in an authoritative voice to his brother in arms, "By the authority of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, Anakin Skywalker you are under arrest." Silent, the renegade Jedi Knight telekinetically draws his light saber into his hand and ignites it. {CLOSE UPS OF BOTH THEIR EYES} The two are about to make their move when a building security guard enters the room telling them that the floor is off limits and in danger of collapsing. Obi-Wan averts his eyes off Anakin for a split second to tell the guard to get the hell out of there and at that moment Anakin force pushes a column causing part of the ceiling to collapse. Force pushing the guard out of the way of the falling debris, Obi-Wan turns to face his adversary and peering through the dust its clear Skywalker is gone. WIPE TO...
CIS ARMADA APPROACHING PLANET ZIAA - An enormous ship, shaped like a cigar with the flat front end housing a number of laser nodes, is flanked by a half dozen CIS battle ships, The look of the laser nodes is very similar to the super-laser design seen on the Death Star. The fleet moves toward the grey-greenish home world of Prince Dorhaan. On board. the Executive Officer notifies Admiral Tarkin that they have arrived at the target destination in the Ziaa System. He acknowledges and gives the order for preparation to fire the super weapon. WIPE TO...
JEDI COUNCIL ROOM - MACE WINDU AND YODA ARE IN CONFERENCE WITH OBI-WAN WHO IS ON HOLOGRAM. They're talking about the bombing and that the Chancellor is publicly blaming the Separatists for it. Windu says his feelings in the Force gives him doubts about that story. Obi-Wan tells him that Anakin killed the Prince of Ziaa and Windu says they tried to contact him separately and have gotten no answer. Obi Wan says he's going to look for Anakin and the Council should put out feelers for his whereabouts but Yoda tells Kenobi that's not a priority at this moment and he needs his help investigating who attacked the Assembly Hall. After the conference is over, the Council members agree that the matter should be handled privately since they don't want the Senate nor the public to know that a Jedi Knight has gone rogue. CUT TO...
ANAKIN IN HIS PERSONAL TRANSPORT GOING TO SEE PALPATINE. He's speeding through the floating traffic and he has a shocked look on face as the weight of his actions are now sinking in. Gathering his thoughts he makes his way towards the Supreme Chancellor's secure quarters. Once at the heavily guarded building his security clearance gives him entrance and he makes his way to Palpatine's office. The Chancellor is finishing up a hasty meeting with his military advisers, on hologram is Mace Windu. Skywalker waits in the shadows for the meeting to end. Agreeing to some measures to re-secure the capital city, Palpatine clears the room of everyone. Just before signing off Windu asks the Chancellor if he had been in contact with Skywalker recently, Palpatine (knowing Anakin is in the room) says no. With the room empty, Anakin steps foward. They both exchange concerns about the capital bombing and what needs to be done next when Palpatine says he can feel something weighing on Anakin and is there anything he needs to talk about?
Anakin talks about Padme and the first time they met. Palpatine asks is this is who he was worried about during the invasion of Naboo and Anakin confirms. When Palpatine says she's married to the Prince of Ziaa. Anakin, indignant, objects and says that the union was fake and she doesn't love him. Then in an almost rambling fashion he recounts the bombing at the Assembly Hall and how Blaan got blown out of the window in the explosion. That he initially caught the man then before he knew what was happening the Prince slipped out of his grip. "He...slipped out of your hand?" Palpatine looks down at one of Anakin's cybernetic sturdy looking hands. Stating that while he's happy that Skywalker came to him first, he can't help by wonder why he didn't go to someone in the Jedi Order with this? "I can't go to them...I no longer think there is a place for myself in the Order." Anakin takes a breath, "A brother saw me with Dorhaan, he saw him fall. He didn't slip...I let him go."
"I see..." says Palpatine seeing the anguish and conflict play out on Anakin's face. "It's good that you came to me with this. Rest assure, we'll work through this my good man." The Sith pats Skywalker on the shoulder consolingly while inwardly relishing the turmoil raging in the young man. WIPE TOO.
PADME AT HER SAFE LOCATION. Obi-Wan arrives at the safe house and speaks with Padme who asks about her husband. He breaks the news to her that Prince Blaan was killed in the bombing. He tells her about how much damage the explosion caused but stops short at saying anything about Anakin being there. Obi-Wan holds her as she cries. He asks what are her plans and Padme says that she was working on a plan to free Naboo from the Trade Federation but in light of the current situation she'll escort her husband's body back to Ziaa and be with his parents for awhile. Obi-Wan gives his condolences again and leaves to go investigate the bombing. Padme gathers herself and tells security to make arrangements to leave for Ziaa as soon as soon as possible. WIPE TO...
SEPARATIST WAR SHIPS PARKED NEAR A MOON OF PLANET ZIAA. The fleet of Ziaan ships are moving in to intercept the CIS battleships and are met by droid fighters. While thats happening the ship's crew is preparing to fire the super laser. Tarkin has Dooku on hologram prepared to relay the results. The power-up process completed, they fire the super-laser. The bolt strikes the planet and a roiling wave of destruction consumes the surface of Ziaa. The planet itself is not totally obliterated but all life on Ziaa is destroyed. CUT TO:
*Yoda, alone meditating in his chambers, is suddenly startled. He looks up sensing a huge disturbance in the force.
*Obi-Wan and Mace Windu at the Assembly Hall overseeing the investigation. Both are shaken and look at each other in a "did you feel that?" manner as well.
*Anakin, in one of the living quarters near Palpatine's office, feels a huge disturbance and shudders.
*Palpatine in the middle of reading a report suddenly looks up, feeling the disturbance and smiling broadly. CUT TO...
Tarkin reports the results of the devastation in an almost disappointed fashion and Dooku says to keep working at it. WIPE TO...
CUROSCANT- PALPATINE'S OFFICE. Anakin walks back into Palpatine's office and the Chancellor tells him that the Jedi Council will issue an arrest warrant for him. The murder of a foreign dignitary carries a death penalty and for his crime, Palpatine says, the Senate will push for the ultimate punishment. But, the Chancellor says, that he can protect him. Extending his hand toward Anakin, Palpatine says in order to personally protect him, Skywalker must leave the Jedi Order and pledge loyalty to him. The Jedi looks at the friendly gesture in deep conflict, then takes the Sith Lord's hand with both of his and agrees to his terms. Smiling, the Chancellor re-assuredly pats Skywalker on the back and tells him everything will fine. WIPE TO...
PADME AT HER SAFE LOCATION. Amidala's going over her travel plans with her security detail when Anakin contacts her on a small handheld device. Asking for privacy and alone, she tells Anakin that Blaan is dead. She says she's leaving for Ziaa to return him to his home planet. Anakin asks if he can meet her at the spaceport. Padme says she's in a period of of mourning and hesitates and Anakin pleads to meet with her just briefly. CUT TO, Palpatine's assistant stepping into his office and tells him that Queen Amidala's security team has made plans to leave for planet Ziaa, when she steps out of the office we see the Sith Lord bring up Darth Maul on his secure hologram display. WIPE TO...
PLANET ZIAA - KORIN'S TRANSPORT. The ship arrives out of hyperspace. The pilot tries to hail the planet for landing approach and get no response. One pilot says "I don't have a good feeling about this". Approaching the planet they see the swirling storms of devastation and wonder out loud what could have caused such destruction. The pilots decide to contact Curoscant and report their return. The ship turns around and goes back into hyperspace. WIPE TO.
GENERAL GRIEVOUS BATTLESHIP. There is an armada of Confederate battleships in formation. Darth Maul is on hologram to the General and relays a message from Palpatine that the attack on the capital planet can proceed as planned. WIPE TO...
CUROSCANT - SPACE PORT TRANSPORT PAD. The sun is setting and the transport vessel for Queen Amidala lands on the open air pad and her security contingent starts to board. Just as she's about to board, Anakin steps from the shadows and calls her name. Padme tells her security to stand down and the two meet on the open pad. They stand in front of each other but don't hug because that would be inappropriate given her position and status. Anakin offers his condolences and says that he wanted to give them to her personally but trails off. Then he says it was her beautiful face that got him through the hardest days in his life and that even though sadness abounds for now he pledges to always be there for her. The Queen looks up into Anakin's eyes and smiles. taking his hand into her's, she's just about to reply when Her smiling face turns to wide eyed horror and she screams.
The transport pad is rocked by explosions and laser fire as invading CIS ships fly over head. Anakin covers Padme as her transport vessel is destroyed by incoming fire. Droid ships land and battle droids disembark and start to pick off the Queen's security team. Anakin takes Padme by the hand and they run for cover as pandemonium ensues. Republican forces already in the area engage with the advancing battle droids. Anakin, the Jedi guard and a few Naboo guards protect the Queen by returning fire from their pinned position. A Naboo guard is killed and drops his weapon and Padme picks it up. Her eyes squinted and teeth clenched, she starts shooting back. Skywalker looks at her with a double take and smiles to himself. Anakin and his Queen against the world, the way it should be. Darth Maul is the last to disembark from the droid troop ship. He walks down the ramp and surveys the battle. Seeing Anakin and Padme, Maul directs the battle droids to clear a path and he moves in on his target. Through the lazer fire and explosions Anakin sees the Sith who may be responsible for his parents murder, who killed his first Master, who cut off his arms and almost killed him, the demon in his visions. Maul points at his battle droids and they move to another part of the space port platform, clearing an area. Anakin calls over to Padme's Jedi guard and say that the Sith is the commander here, they need to take him out. The guard looks at his charge, the Queen of Naboo, who says "It's okay, go with Anakin." then goes back to firing on droids. The two Jedi Knights ignite their light sabers and start to move on the Sith Lord. CUT TO..
JEDI TEMPLE - OBI-WAN AND MACE WINDU IN A PITCHED BATTLE WITH DROID INVADERS. Night creeps in and from a distance the scene looks like the finale of a fireworks display gone awry. Laser fire and explosions criss cross everywhere. Obi-Wan and Mace Windu are leading a few dozen Jedi and Padawans in defending the Temple against droid troopers advancing on the building. The droids are overwhelming the Jedi who are getting picked off. Padawans are gamely fighting back but they succumb to the speed and sheer numbers of the battle droids. Windu, Kenobi and the other Council members use offensive weapons and deflect laser fire with their light sabers trying to protect the younglings and regain control of the Temple. A contingent of six battle droids breaks off from the intense fighting in the main hall and make their way to a meditation chamber. One battle droid fires from his wrist gun and blows the door off its hinges. When the smoke clears, Yoda calmly walks through the smoke and dust. All six droids train their weapons on the small green wizened Jedi elder who raises his hands in a martial art pose.
At the front of the Temple, the surviving Jedi Knights are still fighting off the battle droids when a Padawan (Skywalker's former protege) runs up to Obi-Wan and says that he saw a pack of battle droids going towards Master Yoda's meditation chamber. Kenobi tells him that Yoda can handle himself but the kid shouts he's going to help and runs for the chambers. Successfully deflecting several volleys of laser fire back at the droids, Obi-Wan is too engulfed in the fighting to object. We follow the kid as he sprints down the hall and we can hear intense laser fire and explosions coming from Yoda's chambers. Rounding a corner the kid ignites his light saber and jumps into the room only to see Yoda standing peacefully in the middle of a pile of smoking droid parts. "End this, we must." The diminutive Grand Master says to the shocked Padawan while heading for the clash at the front of the Temple. CUT TO...
SPACE PORT TRANSPORT PAD. Even in the midst of a raging gun fight, the Force Sensitives prepare to clash.The Jedi Knights maneuver around the Sith Lord. The last time Skywalker encountered the demon from his visions, he was a Padawan and his arms were severed in the process. Anakin and the guard, their light sabers glowing, cautiously close the distance between them and Darth Maul who calmly ignites his double saber.
All three engage quickly with both Jedi Knights striking almost simultaneously. Darth Maul's blinding speed deflects both blows and he responds with rapid strikes putting both Jedi on the defensive. Amazingly, the three fight while still managing to deflect stray laser fire in their direction from the skirmish around them. The Sith,sensing more fear from the Jedi guard, presses his attack on him while keeping Skywalker at bay. Even with more experience than before, Anakin is frustrated that he's only doing slightly better than the last time he faced this opponent. Another swift exchange and the Queen's Jedi guard is killed so fast that he barely registers it before collapsing. The demon from Anakin's visions now turns to face him once again. CUT TO...
JEDI TEMPLE - The battle is starting to wind down and the Jedi Knights are pushing back the droid invaders with the help of arriving clone troopers. Obi-Wan says that he going to respond to a call for assistance from Queen Amidala's guard, jumps into a hover car, and heads in the direction of the space port. CUT TO..
SPACE PORT TRANSPORT PAD. Anakin and Maul square off again while Padme and a few guards still able to fight try to blast their way past the few remaining droids. Anakin sustains a few light saber burns on his legs and chest but is still able to fight and Maul toys with him. The guards get whittled down to the last one with Padme and he dies destroying the last droid The way clear, the Queen starts to run for it but looks back at Anakin who is struggling in fighting Maul. He yells to her, "GO!" She turns to leave when the Sith, telekinetically drawing a blaster off the floor to his hand, shoots Padme in the back.
Falling to the ground in a heap, the young Queen doesn't move.
Anakin stands frozen in shocked silence.
The demon tosses the gun away and smiles.
Bellowing an almost inhuman cry of anguish, the renegade Jedi Knight launches into a vicious attack against the Sith Lord. Skywalker's rage is damn near tangible as he assaults Maul nonstop. Tears stream from his eyes and he wails out loud with every strike, Skywalker forces Maul, desperately trying to defend himself, back on his heels. The Sith tries to levitate to elevated platforms for a higher ground advantage and just to gain some breathing room but Anakin stays on top of him, hammering away at his defenses {dramatic mournful version of Darth Vader's theme plays over} During the close quarter clash, Darth Maul looks at Anakin Skywalker's eyes and sees they've become yellow tinged like his own, signally he's fully embraced the Dark Side of the Force and it's flowing through the enraged Jedi. Getting Maul cornered, Anakin first breaks his double light-saber in half and cuts off his left arm in the process. Maul dodges a strike from Anakin and parries with a strike of his own that hits the Jedi, sinking the tip of his light-saber into his chest. Undeterred, Anakin proceeds to quarter the Sith mercilessly, cutting off his remaining appendages.
A limbless stump sitting upright on the ground, the last thing Darth Maul sees is a swipe of blue light.
Anakin Skywalker finally beheads the demon who has haunted his dreams and life for years.
The battle over, the former Jedi collapses with exhaustion. He turns to where Padme is lying and drags himself over to her, gasping and wheezing trying to draw breath into his severely damaged lungs. Cradling her in his arms he weeps inconsolably and, his throat completely raw from screaming, hoarsely calls her name over and over. Padme regains consciousness enough to tell him she always loved him and that she wished things would have been different. Then she reaches for his hand, puts it on her belly and looks into his eyes and says "this is your son..." She passes away with her eyes open and Anakin closes them and kisses her gently on the lips. Then gently lays her down and lies beside her, holding her hand, hoping to slip into the void with her for eternity.
Clone troopers and another contingent of Naboo security arrive on the scene at the same time and separate the two {CLOSE UP OF PADME'S HAND SLIPPING OUT OF ANAKIN'S}. The jostling wakes up Anakin who weakly struggles to stay with Padme. An officer of the troopers rushes to his side and gently tries to calm him down and Anakin lays back still calling out to his love. After he's loaded in the transport vehicle, The officer in charge motions for the vehicle to move out. Obi-Wan arrives just as Padme's transport departs. Jumping out of the hover car, the Jedi surveys the aftermath of the battle with utter shock at the causalities. Walking around the area he spots Anakin's light saber on the ground. Picking it up it still feels very warm then he sees the Sith's dissected body nearby. Grabbing another officer on the scene, General Kenobi demands to know what happened. The officer says they arrived after the battle was over, Colonel Skywalker and the Queen from Naboo were just taken away. Kenobi asks where is Skywalker being transported to? The officer says that the Chancellor ordered Skywalker moved to his private medical facility. Thunder rolls heavily over head and it starts to rain hard as Obi-Wan stands there looking at the light saber in his hand.WIPE TO...
KORIN'S TRANSPORT - The ship comes out of hyperspace only to see Coruscant is under siege. They get the news that Queen Padme Amidala was killed during a clash with invading CIS forces. Korin is grief stricken and demands to be taken to the capital immediately CUT TO...
CHANCELLOR'S MEDICAL FACILITY - We see the process of the medical droids working to save Anakin who is unconscious. They clean up the wounds and burns on his body and work on repairing his lungs. In another room Palpatine watches the procedures on video display intently. CUT TO...
MEDICAL FACILITY WHERE PADME IS LOCATED- The Queen is being examined by a MRI type machine and its discovered that not only is the baby still alive and unharmed but there's two. In a discreet procedure Padme's body is kept functioning while the medical droids deliver the two fully formed but undersized babies. Korin, crying, watches from behind a glass partition in the room. CUT TO...
CHANCELLOR'S MEDICAL FACILITY - Anakin is still under the knife and the medic droids attach the slightly familiar looking triangular mask that covers Skywalker's nose and mouth. Small breathing tubes follow the contour of his neck and lead from the mask to a artificial lung/monitor thats strapped around his chest. The Chancellor asks if Skywalker will survive and the medical droid replies that his lungs have been too severely damaged and he must be fitted with a breather apparatus but he will recover. The device is activated and we hear the all too familiar iron lung rhythmic breathing pattern it produces. Palpatine smiles to himself. CUT TO...
MEDICAL FACILITY - KORIN IS WITH PADME - The newborns are placed in incubators not far from Padme. Korin is standing next to her bed holding her hand telling her about the status of the children and pledging to make sure they are taken care of. We see lightning flash from the bay window in the room and hear rain beating against it. CUT TO...
CHANCELLOR'S MEDICAL FACILITY - Its a torrential downpour as Obi-Wan arrives and is stopped by clone security who tells him his clearance isn't high enough for access then checks his ear piece and allows the Jedi Knight in. Palpatine watches on a monitor as Kenobi enters the building and walks through the halls.
Anakin starts to come to and looks around the room. Semi groggy, he rises out of the bed and walks to a mirror on the wall and sees the reflection of a person who is increasingly less human. At that moment the door opens and Obi-Wan walks in. They look at each other and Anakin asks about Padme, his voice altered by the mask to a metallic baritone. Obi-Wan looks down and says she died at the space port. Anakin falters and almost collapses from the news and Obi-Wan moves to support his friend but Anakin pushes him away and moves wearily to sit in an armchair in the room. Tears well up in his eyes as the last moments with her come back to him and he says "Padme said I had a son. She's dead and my son is dead." His breathing becomes more rapid and the lights start to flicker in the room. "There is nothing left for me. I'm not a husband, not a father..." Obi-Wan looks at Anakin's yellow tinged eyes and the renegade says with defiance and without blinking "I'm not a Jedi." We see Anakin's reflection in the mirror across the room just before it shatters and a sturdy looking cylinder on the wall starts to crumple like a soda can being squeezed by an invisible hand. Most of the lights in the room blink out. Obi-Wan starts to say something but Anakin says with barely contained anger "You need to leave now." Obi-Wan, dejected, turns and leaves the room without a word. Thunder growls in the distance and for a moment we hold on the sullen figure, sitting in the chair, filled with bitter anger and hatred.
Anakin Skywalker is left alone in the darkness.
Stepping into the hallway Kenobi is met by the Chancellor who says that Skywalker has stated his renunciation of the Jedi Order and as such is working directly in the office of the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. Clone troopers escort Kenobi out. WIPE TO...
JEDI TEMPLE - The battle is over but the temple has sustained major damage. Clone troopers secure the perimeter and we move through the temple hall and see the covered bodies of the fallen Jedi Knights, padawans and younglings lined up along the way. Whats left of the Jedi Elders are gathered together and question how the attack could have happened, they also question Supreme Chancellor Palpatine's leadership and motives. They heavily suspect that Chancellor Palpatine is not who he seems and they decide to concentrate on dealing with him. Mace Windu says " It will be tricky. The Jedi Council will have to take control of the Senate to ensure a peaceful transition to a new government and a new leadership for the Republic." Obi-Wan comes in and tells them that Anakin has renounced the Order and is under the protection of the Chancellor. He also states that Anakin's crossed to the Dark side of the Force. "For Palpatine a powerful ally, Skywalker makes." Yoda states forebodingly, In the middle of the meeting a lower level Jedi enters and says that there is an emergency communication from the assistant to the Queen of Naboo in regards to the Queen Amidala herself. The assistant has an urgent request to meet with master Kenobi as soon as possible. Yoda considers that Naboo was invaded and now Padme is dead, tells Obi-Wan to go to the meeting in the hopes of making something right for them. The Grandmaster says when they figure out a plan for dealing with Palpatine he'll inform him. Obi-Wan nods in agreement. WIPE TO...
PADME'S MEDICAL FACILITY - In a conference room of the facility, Korin and Obi-Wan are discussing the events and what they must do. She tells Kenobi, who is momentarily shocked speechless, of Ziaa's destruction. At that moment Master Windu comes into the room. Obi-Wan reassures Korin that the man is wholly trustworthy and to continue. Windu confirms her report saying he's just learned about what happened to Ziaa. Mace asks how Padme was killed and Obi-Wan says that when he arrived on the scene he found Anakin there as well as the Sith who killed master Qui-Gon. He says that apparently Anakin and the Sith must have battled and Padme was probably killed in the cross-fire. Windu asks about Anakin's status and Obi- Wan says while severely injured he was alive. After a moment of contemplation Obi-Wan lays out the situation: with Padme dead, Dorhaan dead, grand parents on both sides dead, the children are orphaned.
Korin takes a breath and hesitantly reveals to the Jedi Knights that the children still have a parent left. She says, "Padme confided in me that Anakin Skywalker is the biological father of the twins." Both men sit back in shock trying to process what she said. She continues, "Shortly before she married Prince Dorhaan, Padme and Anakin had an... impromptu rendezvous. When she discovered she was pregnant soon after the wedding she had a special test done in secret to settle a question she had. The medical droid tested the fetus's dna against Blaan's and it wasn't a match. The only other man she was with intimately was Master Skywalker. She had me wipe the droid's memory and record of that test and swore me to secrecy." Tears stream down her cheeks as she talks, "Padme absolutely loved Anakin Skywalker, sirs. It tore her apart that she couldn't be with him. Maybe he should be told about his children." Obi-Wan looks at Mace Windu then brings his own revelation to the table. "I witnessed Anakin drop Blaan Dorhaan out of a window after the bomb exploded at the Assembly Hall." Korin gasps at the news. "Afterward, I confronted him about it and he admitted to doing it on purpose." Kenobi then looks at Korin and says, "The man Queen Amidala may have fallen in love with no longer exists." Obi-Wan turns to Windu and says "Anakin Skywalker is very powerful in the Force, has influence with the Supreme Chancellor and is very dangerous." Master Windu speaks up, "If those are his children its very likely they will have great potential in the Force as well. Skywalker's influence will cause them to have the same fate as their father. Against our better judgement we inadvertently put Skywalker on this path. It would be reckless for us to allow the same fate to befall his children. Splitting them up will make it more difficult for the Sith to sense their existence." Obi-Wan is slightly shaken at the word Sith being used in reference to his friend.
Korin is reluctant to break the twins up but agrees if it means their safety. She says that Padme was close friends with Bail and Breha Organa of Alderaan royalty. They've already adopted a child and were considering adopting another, Padme's daughter will be a happy addition for them. She will be much cared for and Korin can get a position on their staff and will keep an eye on her as well. Obi-Wan says "The only person I can think of is a relative of Anakin's whom I met on a mission a few years ago. Anakin rarely had contact with him as he was estranged from the family, some business disagreement with his father caused a rift they never reconciled but in the time I met him, he seemed like a good kind man. Hiding the boy in plain sight may be the best option we have. But I'll make sure to keep watch over him." The three solemnly nod in agreement. WIPE TO...
darklordoftech said:
nic777 said:
any feed back for how the 1st installment went?
I definitely enjoyed it. I love how you took the concepts behind the prequels and improved the execution.
I think that you should drop "younglings" and "padawans" in favor of "apprentices". I also think that Palpatine is just as important as the Skywalkers. Also, I would drop the concept of the Sith and change "Darth Maul" to simply "Maul". In the OT, nobody cared about Palpatine and Vader being Sith. An organization devoted to killing your master makes no sense and "Darth" being title is silly.
thanx for the response!
I guess I could go with apprentice but padawan is a proper in-universe name for the students.
I agree that the rule of two is stupid, thats why along with palpatine theres maul, grievous and dooku and theyre all working together. I disagree that palpatine is as important as the skywalkers tho..the star wars film saga is about the skywalker clan Lucas himself established this pattern and theme with 4, 5, and 6. When A New Hope starts off we see Vader and Leia, then we go to Luke, then back to Leia, then Luke again, some stuff with Vader and back to Leia and so it goes. Thats it. We see the same pattern in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. All the major points of all the films deal with a Skywalker.
In the original draft of Star Wars Darth Vader was a person's name..his first name was Darth last name Vader...you see a remnant of it in ANH when obi wan sees Vader for the first time and calls him Darth as if thats his first name rather than a title.
let me know what you think of episode 2 I called it Enter the Clones..its further down the page on the site.
any feed back for how the 1st installment went?
Who is the focus of your story? you start anakin at a teenager thats great but a lot seems to happen than doesn't involve him..so who is the focus of ep 1?
the Star Wars nine episode series is about the Skywalker clan. That's it. That's who we focus on, that's who we follow. No Skywalker, no care! Lucas himself established this pattern and theme with 4, 5, and 6. When A New Hope starts off we see Vader and Leia, then we go to Luke, then back to Leia, then Luke again, some stuff with Vader and back to Leia and so it goes. Thats it. We see the same pattern in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. All the major points of all the films deal with a Skywalker. So the prequels should have concentrated more on anakin and padme mostly then obi-wan.