Tyrphanax said:

doubleofive said:

 

RedFive said:

You die very, very, very slowly.

Or very very quickly if your character has no name.

 

Unless it's "Porkins".

Fixed.

You know you are an American movie/TV character when you feel compelled to announce the country where a famous city is located in dialogue.

i.e. "He was last seen in Berlin, Germany".

Bingowings said:

You know you are an American movie/TV character when you feel compelled to announce the country where a famous city is located in dialogue.

i.e. "He was last seen in Berlin, Germany".

Sometimes it is important to clarify.

doubleKO said:

You can fix a timeline by changing one thing, regardless of how you otherwise interfere.

You can sober up completely in a few minutes no matter how drunk you are.

You have recently noticed that bugs are of a remarkably consistent size and that their behaviour is governed by algorithms.

You would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

One of my favorite lists, in spite of how short.

doubleKO said:

...

You would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

I lol'd!

The gun on the wall in the first act would be used in the third act.

Everyone would know all the words and the steps as you sing and dance your way down the street.

If you're Switched at Birth the person you're switched with will be deaf also both of you have hot friends.

Plus in the span of like, a day you'll go from being a cadet in the Academy to Captain of the Starship Enterprise.

You fall down on a girl and you both are looking at each other in the eyes, before getting up and laughing awkwardly.

Your cereal boxes don't have bags in them, the cereal is just in the box and pours out easily.  

HOW DOES IT STAY FRESH?!

Cars explode for no apparent reason.

You get shot in the shoulder and show no pain.

If you are a woman and you're raped, it's an awful, terrible, thing.

If you're a man and you're raped, it's considered comedy.

If you are raped by a woman perhaps but I don't think Deliverance or Midnight Express are themselves comedic (though they have inspired comedic pastiches which may be more difficult with a rape scene where a woman is the victim of a man's advances).

I forgot about this thread.  This is a fantastic one!

When someone significant to the direction your life has been heading for sometime unexpectedly leaves town/dies/gets called back to base for a surgical debriefing etc, you meet someone new who almost immediately picks up the baton.

ferris209 said:

I know this, if playing a Cop as a character....

 

Unless it's central to the plot, your woman will never get pregnant no matter how often you have relations.

You see non-committal sex as a diversionary sport while saying "I love you" is rounding third base.

Hacker computer programs have visually exciting GUIs and make fun little sounds to indicate they are breaking into the desired computer.

Your fellow male characters may or may not be attractive.

Your fellow female characters are always attractive and underweight.

Your group of three leads includes one female and one black person.

You are an American patriot willing to sacrifice your life and shoots lots of baddies to save the day, while a famous Hollywood personality who looks exactly like you hates America and thinks even water pistols are evil.

Your unnatural accent comes and goes.

Every time your buddy gets shot in the chest, it only dazes him for a moment until he gets his second, third and fourth wind.  He gets even more angry and will take out a few more bad guys before he finally goes down.

Several people will gladly risk their lives, many of them dying, in order to save your life.

That nerdy girl always looks incredibly attractive once she takes off her glasses and does her hair differently.

If you are a lawyer, you never trip over your words but rather argue your case with supreme eloquence and emotion.

All the high school students look like they're in their early 20s.

Broken windows never cut you.

Your significant other breaks up with you just before the sequel begins.

Your advanced electronic items have lots of lights that simply blink but don't do anything.

Bullets miss you, but always ricochet off of something near you, even if it is something small and far harder to hit like a flagpole or railing on a catwalk.

You groan and whine when a woman puts warm soapy water on that huge open wound that hardly fazed you when you received it.

Your phone number always contains the prefix digits 555 no matter where you live, and your hand happens to always covers the product name when drinking popular softdrinks and beer brands of company's that don't financially support your day to day activities. Oh, and also your mother's favorite song is Roe, Roe, Roe, Your Boat.

Bingowings said:

You know you are an American movie/TV character when you feel compelled to announce the country where a famous city is located in dialogue.

i.e. "He was last seen in Berlin, Germany".

We wouldn't want to confuse it with Berlin, El Salvador now, would we?