You are doing it wrong.

THEN HE KICKED ME

Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance.

He looked kinda nice and so I said I might take a chance.

When he danced he held me tight And when he walked me home that night

All the stars were shining bright And then he kicked me.

Each time I saw him I couldn't wait to see him again.

I wanted to let him know that he was more than a friend.

I didn't know just what to do

So I whispered I love you

And he said that he loved me too And then he kicked me.

He kicked me in a way that I've never been kicked before,

He kicked me in a way that I wanna be kicked forever more.

I knew that he was mine so I gave him all the love that I had

And one day he took me home to meet his mom and his dad.

Then he asked me to be his bride

And always be right by his side.

I felt so happy I almost cried And then he kicked me.

Then he asked me to be his bride

And always be right by his side.

I felt so happy I almost cried And then he kicked me.

And then he kicked me. And then he kicked me

No, No, No! That's not right either.

COME FIST WITH ME

Come fist with me, let's fist, let's fist away
If you can use some exotic lube
There's a bar in far Bombay
Come on and fist with me, let's fist, let's fist away

Come fist with me, let's float down to Peru
In llama land there's a one-man band
And he'll toot your flute for you
Come on fist with me, let's take off in the blue

Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We'll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near
You may hear all the angels cheer 'cause we're together

Weather-wise it's such a lovely day
Just say the words and we'll beat the birds
Down to Ac apulco Bay
It's perfect for a fisting honeymoon, they say
Come fist with me, let's fist, let's fist away

Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We'll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so very near
You may even hear a whole gang cheer 'cause we're together

Weather-wise it's such a cool cool day
You just say those words and we'll beat off the birds
Down to Ac-apulco Bay
It's so perfect for a fisting honeymoon, oh babe
Come fist with me, let's fist, let's fist
Pack up, let's fist away!!

I wanna new duck, one that won't quack...

Cut my life into pieces

This is my last resort.

We're all taking large amounts of pills, large amounts of pills, large amounts of pills...

georgec said:

Cut my life into pieces

This is my last resort.

Better?

georgec said:

Better?

Oh yes....that's MUCH better. o_O

...There's nothing better than looking at a 1x1 jpeg that's been made really big.

Well how else would you see it?

Darn, fixed it.

Your Butt Is Mine
Gonna Take You Right
Just Show Your Face
In Broad Daylight
I'm Telling You
On How I Feel
Gonna Hurt Your Mind
Don't Shoot To Kill
Come On, Come On,
Lay It On Me All Right...

I'm Giving You
On Count Of Three
To Show Your Stuff
Or Let It Be . . .
I'm Telling You
Just Watch Your Mouth
I Know Your Game
What You're About

Well They Say The Sky's
The Limit
And To Me That's Really True
But My Friend You Have
Seen Nothing

Just Wait 'Til I Get Through . . .
Because kebab, kebab
Come On
(Bad kebab Really, Really Bad)
You Know Kebab, Kebab
You Know It
(Bad Kebab Really, Really Bad)
You Know kebab, I'm Bad-
Come On, You Know
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)
And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now
Just To Tell You Once Again,
Kebab. . .

The Word Is Out
You're Doin' Wrong
Gonna Lock You Up
Before Too Long,
Your Lyin' Eyes
Gonna Take You Right
So Listen Up
Don't Make A Fight,
Your Talk Is Cheap
You're Not A Man
You're Throwin' Stones
To Hide Your Hands

But They Say The Sky's
The Limit
And To Me That's Really True
And My Friends You Have
Seen Nothin'

Just Wait 'Til I Get Through . . .
Because kebab, kebab
Come On
(Bad kebab Really, Really Bad)
You Know Kebab, Kebab
You Know It
(Bad Kebab Really, Really Bad)
You Know kebab, I'm Bad-
Come On, You Know
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)
And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now
Just To Tell You Once Again,
Kebab. . .

We Can Change The World
Tomorrow
This Could Be A Better Place
If You Don't Like What I'm
Sayin'

Then Won't You Slap My Face . . .

Because kebab, kebab
Come On
(Bad kebab Really, Really Bad)
You Know Kebab, Kebab
You Know It
(Bad Kebab Really, Really Bad)
You Know kebab, I'm Bad-
Come On, You Know
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)

Woo Woo Woo!

And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now

Just To Tell You Once Again, Kebab. . .

Because I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
Come On
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
You Know It
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
You Know It, You Know
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

Woo! Woo! Woo!
(And The Whole World Has
To Answer Right Now
Just To Tell You Once
Again . . .)


You Know I'm Smooth,

kebab, You Know It
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)
You Know kebab,  kebab Baby
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)
You Know, You Know, You
Know It, Come On
(Bad kebab Really, Really Bad)
And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now
(And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now)
Woo!
(Just To Tell You Once Again)

You Know I'm kebab, kebab
You Know It
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)
You Know kebab-You
Know-Hoo!
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)
You Know kebab-kebab-
You Know It, You Know
(Bad kebab-Really, Really Bad)
And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now
(And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now)
Just To Tell You Once Again . . .
(Just To Tell You Once
Again . . .)
Kebab?

I can't believe

that I'm sharing a kebab

with the most beautiful girl

that I have ever seen

with a kebab

I'm in love with glue, girl, 'cause glue're on my mind
glue're the one I think about most every time
And when glue pack a smile in everything glue do
Don't glue understand, girl, this love is true?
glue're soft, succulent, so sweet and thin
That's kind of like a vision upon gluer skin
It lightens up my day, and that's oh so true
Together we're one separated we're two
To make glue all mine, all mine is my desire
'Cause glue contain a quality, glue that I admire
glue're pretty plain and simple, glue rule my world so try to understand
I'm in love, girl
I'm in so love, girl
I'm just in love, girl, and this is true
Girl, glue know it's true
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love glue
Yes, glue know it's true
Ooh, ooh, ooh I love glue
Girl, glue know it's true
My love is for glue
Girl, glue know it's true
My love is for glue
This is some sort of thing, girl, I can't explain
My emotions starts up when I hear gluer name
Maybe gluer sweet, sweet voice would ring in my ear
Then delay my system when glue are near
Come with gluer positive emotion, love-making enjoyin'
That's for me to bust it's like a girl and a boy
These feelings I get I often wonder why
So I thought I might discuss this, girl, just glue and I
Now what glue're wearing I don't care, as I've said before
No reason that I like glue, girl, just for what glue are
If I said I'd think about it, glue rule my world so try to understand
I'm in love, girl
I'm in so love, girl
I'm just in love girl, and this is true
Girl, glue know it's true
Ooh, ooh, ooh I love glue
Yes, glue know it's true
Ooh, ooh, ooh I love glue
Girl, glue know it's true
My love is for glue
Girl, glue know it's true
My love
Girl, glue know it's true
Ooh, ooh, ooh I love glue
Yes, glue know it's true
Ooh, ooh, ooh I love glue

I'm officially rechristening this thread the "Song Parody Thread".

Does he rasp? Does he gasp?
Does he lift you off your feet?
My favorite villain Vader
His evil was complete

His suit was black and shiny
No one could ever stain
Lead the imperial starfleet
Loved to cause them pain

Years go by I'm watchin' Jedi on my blu-ray disc machine
And there's my favourite villain in his final scene

My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
My Vader is now saying "no"
Vader is now saying "no"

Chicken Tikka, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chicken Tikka, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chicken Tikka, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chicken Tikka, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chicken Tikka
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chicken Tikka

So the walls came tumbling down
And your love's a blown out candle
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Chicken Tikka, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chicken Tikka, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chicken Tikka, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chicken Tikka
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chicken Tikka
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chicken Tikka

Moth3r said:

 

Does he rasp? Does he gasp?
Does he lift you off your feet?
My favorite villain Vader
His evil was complete

His suit was black and shiny
No one could ever stain
Lead the imperial starfleet
Loved to cause them pain

Years go by I'm watchin' Jedi on my blu-ray disc machine
And there's my favourite villain in his final scene

My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
My Vader is now saying "no"
Vader is now saying "no"

 

What is this brilliance?

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh

Diarrhea, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Diarrhea, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Diarrhea, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh

Diarrhea, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Diarrhea, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Diarrhea, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
Diarrhea, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Diarrhea, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Diarrhea, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Diarrhea, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

More Abba misheard lyrics:

http://www.kissthisguy.com/abba-misheard-songs-lyrics-6.htm

(Site name is very apt - I always thought that was what Hendrix was singing...)

There's quite a few on rathergood.com here's my favorite non-rude one.

This one is a bit rude though. Sorry.

I can't get no masturbation,

I can't get no masturbation

'Cause I try

and I try

and I try

and I try.

I can't get no,

I can't get no 

When I'm drivin' in my car

And that man comes on the radio

He's tellin' me more and more

About some useless information

Supposed to fire my imagination

I can't get no,

oh no, no, no

Hey hey hey,

that's what I say 

I can't get no masturbation

I can't get no masturbation

'Cause I try

and I try

and I try

and I try

I can't get no,

I can't get no

I can't get no

masturbation

No masturbation,

no masturbation,

no masturbation!!

Looking out of windows, looking under cars
Like to keep you thinking, staying on guard
Nothing ever happens, you wonder why
The constant paranoia is of someone's design
Doorbell is ringing, Mormons outside

I like Blancmange... best served cold
For a lack of respect and a lack of a soul

Best served cold

Suddenly a shadow under your door
A click of a magazine, your door's not secured
Find an old photograph, was that ever there?
Are those really footsteps walking up your stairs?

I like Blancmange... best served cold
For a lack of respect and a lack of a soul
I like Blancmange... best served cold
With total contempt of an arctic roll

Best served cold
I like Blancmange... best served cold

Me and you
There's a history unattended to
It's a story with no ending to
With a mystery of who's after you
Me and you
You wonder why it never happens to you
With no one really getting back to you
This history of me and you

I like Blancmange... best served cold
For a lack of respect and a lack of a soul
I like Blancmange... best served cold
With total contempt of an arctic roll

I like Blancmange... best served cold
I like Blancmange... best served cold
I like Blancmange... best served cold