Nope. Didn't find it funny at all. ABC's antics gave me a chuckle from time to time though.

Ouch.  Well, you asked for it!

Someone should design a noose bomb to be used the next time someone feigns suicide with the Samaritans telephone number on the fin.

Three blind mice walk into a bar. Being blind, they are mostly unaware of their surroundings, so it would be unethical to derive humor from their predicament.

A man walks into a bar.

He suffers a mild concussion.

Why did John fall off his bike?

Someone threw a fridge at him.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." So the doctor says, "It's probably a tear in the ligament. You may require surgery."

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Fred.

Oh hey Fred, come on in.

Hey VFP, I didn't know you were German.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Spoiler:

The Holocaust

Moth3r said:

Hey VFP, I didn't know you were German.

I hate to admit when I don't get a joke, but I don't get it.

Nanner Split said:

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

 

Spoiler:

 

The Holocaust

I don't think the spoiler function works.

What the fuck, spoiler tags? You did the exact opposite of what spoiler tags are for!

Yah, zis is true!

I was sitting in this diner when this man came up to me and said: Hey, man.  Hey, buddy... I haven't had a- *hic* I haven't had anything to eat in a long time!

SPOILER:

SO I BIT HIM!

BUWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Cookie Monster said:

Have a cookie and enjoy!

I smell a rat!  Gentlemen, turn out your pockets, ladies- empty your purses.  There is an impostor among us.

I ask you- those of you raised on the street- the "Sesame" Street.  Can you please summarize for the court what Cookie Monster's relationship to cookies is?

Does he:

A. Offer them as rewards for good behaviour?
B. Suggest you eat your own cookies and enjoy them?
C. Devour every cookie in sight without regard to
 I. The calories
 II. Other people perhaps wanting a cookie
 III. The safety of his fingers as they deliver cookie-ery goodness to his digestive system.
D. Post on Star Wars forums.

Finding half a worm.

xhonzi said:

I was sitting in this diner when this man came up to me and said: Hey, man.  Hey, buddy... I haven't had a- *hic* I haven't had a bite in a long time!

SO I BIT HIM!

...Fixed :D

How many [dumb people] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer:

Five - One to hold the bulb, and four to turn the house.

Cookie Monster said:

Xonzi, of course I am not really Cookie Monster.  I just have to be around Sesame Street a lot because of my son and i think he is really funny.  Yes Cookie Monster usually eats cookies but he also talks different to.  You could just as easy complain that I dont say things like OF COURSE ME NOT COOKIE MONSTER.

To make you feel better Xhonzi, ME EAT ALL THE COOKIES!!!

With the swearing I saw that it isnt agianst the rules, so I guess I will have to live with it.

 

 Alright.  Me am convinced.

RARAWARARWARSARARARARA AARAR

*cookie*

Davnes007 said:

 

xhonzi said:

I was sitting in this diner when this man came up to me and said: Hey, man.  Hey, buddy... I haven't had a- *hic* I haven't had a bite in a long time!

SO I BIT HIM!

...Fixed :D

 That's not nearly as funny as mine.

-What is black, white, and read all over?

-The newspaper. C'mon dude, that was too easy!

-Damn. I forgot that one doesn't work in print. Oh, I know! Knock knock!

-Who's there?

-Orange!...$#@+! I did it again!

Black, white and Red all over, isn't that a sunburned penguin?

When is a man like a piece of wood? And yes, the answer is clean.

bkev said:

When is a man like a piece of wood? And yes, the answer is clean.

Clean?  That's not funny.  It doesn't even make sense.

bkev said:

When is a man like a piece of wood? And yes, the answer is clean.

 When he is the father of Quantum Theory

Why do women wear make up and perfume?

- Because they're ugly and they smell.

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick!